Gibberings CLXXIX - No not Mormons... morons...

[Chatative]

The problem with opiates is that if they feel nice, they feel nice anywhere at anytime and therein lies the trap....when would you NOT want to feel great?.

That's why if you try them and really like them and you have a predisposition to addiction........... Your fucked.

Yeah, I found it wasn't an amazing high but it was very content & dependable... had no ill effects the day after & was even in a good mood. Could be all too easy to just go for that nice feeling again. After the first session was the biggest pull, but waiting an extra day I felt there wasn't such an urge for the second try, felt like I had a choice. Didn't have any urges after the second session. Was quite satisfied I'd tried it properly & that was enough to stop any thoughts of needing more.

I have had psychological addiction with Mephedrone but I've always been very measured with what opiates I've tried. I'd never done anything stronger than Codeine/DHC though(bar Morphine in a hospital once), which I taken maybe 2-3 times a year at most.

I may well try some again, I'm not sure when but I'll probably do much the same... couple of sessions in a week & then leave it until next year should I wish to partake again. I think I'd decided that 3 months was a good length of break - just a little indulgence infrequently.

 

[ScotchMist]

What you need to do Evey is address those feelings and thoughts now, while you feel them.. the great opiate sticky plaster just does a fantastic job of papering over the cracks.

I only have to stop the gear for a few days and my emotions come flooding back, yeah its unpleasant and usually ends in me running back to it because i cant cope but everytime im putting a dent in it.. hopefully before long I'll not have to resort to it... dunno where im going with this but...y'know...

Daily opiates or any drug for that matter isnt the answer, numbing feelings and shelving thoughts dont work, they just lead to unhappiness, they have to be dealt with at some point if you truly want to be happy. Imo

 

[Urbain]

Raas im extremely sorry but you will no longer be able to text me. In temper i blocked you, deleted the conversation n there's no way of unblocking you so I can no longer text you. Sorry.










I'm sure you'll live :D

Evey

and so it continues.

 

[Chatative]

^ ... Morning snolls. (erm... Urbain - not seen you around much, things ok?)

I only have to stop the gear for a few days and my emotions come flooding back, yeah its unpleasant and usually ends in me running back to it because i cant cope but everytime im putting a dent in it.. hopefully before long I'll not have to resort to it... dunno where im going with this but...y'know...

Daily opiates or any drug for that matter isnt the answer, numbing feelings and shelving thoughts dont work, they just lead to unhappiness, they have to be dealt with at some point if you truly want to be happy. Imo

Great advice that last part.

I hope you manage to find some way forward in terms of getting your use of gear under control... certainly having thoughts is the first step. I can't speak for heroin, but for a good few months before I tried to give up smoking, I hated it & knew that I didn't want to smoke but I couldn't actually muster the effort to give up. Eventually, it was seeking help by way of the NHS 12-week smoking cessation program that gave me the extra will power alongside the NRT products. (although I'm smoking again now, but only half as much )

Obviously, it's a completely different kettle of fish but I think having the support there is probably what makes the difference with addictions. They aren't things you can overcome by yourself. So, outwith professional help... you know we'll be here when you decide to try stopping again.

PS - I'm sure you know all that, I'm think counselling was mentioned recently was it not? I'm sure that might be something that could make a difference but we are here too.

 

[ColtDan]

Dabbled with opiates on and off for a lil while.. they dont agree with me that well, not that keen. and that empty feeling afterwards is shite. much better buzz off booze and stims or ketamine. decent ket seems more euphoric blankety

Just been watching the news.. oscar Pistorius sentenced for 5 years but is only gonna serve 10 months

 

[BigG]

Yeah I saw that on the TV at someone's house I was at this morning....almost makes shooting your girlfriend seem worthwhile (joke!).....

 

[zzz101]

yah dan i didn't know you tried and don't really like opiates.


idk that empty feelings are with me 24.7. opiates just take it away, and then after it comes back worse when opiates stop.


wait, 10 months of prison??? That's good news, for what it is, if it is indeed prison


was expecting him to be left off with home D.

 

[Sammy G]

Just been watching the news.. oscar Pistorius sentenced for 5 years but is only gonna serve 10 months

There's some debate over whether he'll serve ten months or twenty months actually in prison, after which he's liable for release under house arrest to serve the remainder of his sentence.

The absolute possible minimum is ten months, yeah, but it's his defence team who are touting that figure.

 

[BigG]

If they send him to Pollsmore then it will indeed be prison of the worst possible kind (doubt they would send him there though).....I read about it in a Ross Kemp on Gangs book.....sounded inhumanly viscous.... That's where Nelson Mandela was sent.

 

[Eveleivibe]

What you need to do Evey is address those feelings and thoughts now, while you feel them.. the great opiate sticky plaster just does a fantastic job of papering over the cracks.

I only have to stop the gear for a few days and my emotions come flooding back, yeah its unpleasant and usually ends in me running back to it because i cant cope but everytime im putting a dent in it.. hopefully before long I'll not have to resort to it... dunno where im going with this but...y'know...

Daily opiates or any drug for that matter isnt the answer, numbing feelings and shelving thoughts dont work, they just lead to unhappiness, they have to be dealt with at some point if you truly want to be happy. Imo

Thanks. That really means a lot to me n is very much appreciated. From a small child my emotions have been wrong. I would burst into tears over nothing n my parents would demand to know what was wrong with me. So i'd end up making something up then get a lecture for "feeling sorry for myself," which of course I wasn't doing. I homestly couldn't help it. As I grew older n into my 20s it continued. I remember takinh lots of pro plus (caffeine tablets) to try n stop it.

I met a lady off the Internet n she went on holiday to Blackpool. She was gorgeous n had an interest in katanas (collected them). She was incredibly nice to me n I couldn't stop
Getting emotional over it.

After having my little one i was really angry all the time n would go on Facebook. I couldn't understand why my friends had abandoned me n were all for themselves. They'd brag how they were going clubbing, going on trips out n there was me here, alone. Every day. The days were long, it was like a cold, empty, void n NONE of my friends cared - it was out of sight out of mind.

I'd ask them to meet me for a coffee they said they were too busy. I didn't mind that they were busy but I'd see pics of them clubbing on Facebook etc. I told them all what I thought, dumped them n never looked back! Had it been the other way I'd have been there for them in a heartbeat. But why weren't they there for me???? Surely they knew I was lonely n hurting. Like i said - selfish. Its those times that you find out who your true friends are and I don't have any probably never did.

When I got on codeine it didnt feel so painful anymore to be alone, to not belong n to always be on the outside, looking in. Not wanted by people. I started to love being alone n I started doing the rejecting - not the other way around. It felt lovely n I began to feel that taking codeine was the only way to lead a normal life, free of the negativity, misery n loneliness, empty void.

Sorry about the winge

and so it continues.

Oh Urban why bring this up? I honestly don't know why Raasy puts up with me. I've not exactly been a good friend to him. I get angry with him n block him. He shouldn't put up with that bollox from me. He deserves far better than that as he's a lovely, caring, sensitive n understanding friend (sorry for the compliments, Raas *awaits a Radmonishing :D )

Evey

 

[zzz101]

Ross Kemp did a dodco of a gang in my country.. Well my long-time family friend is in the gang, it was was fucking stupid SO much BS.

They edit the fuck out of it, you don't really get hte full or even a good / better side of the story.

gangs do a lot of worse thingss that goes under reported, and Ross Kemp hypes other thins up that isn't important.


if the SA, according to someone 'i know' form SA -- he will be fucked. big time. He might not receive any special treatment - hopefully.

 

[BigG]

Yeah most Ross Kemp documentaries are full of shit....just remember reading about Pollsmoore and it sounded horriffic

 

[Eveleivibe]

Yeah most Ross Kemp documentaries are full of shit....just remember reading about Pollsmoore and it sounded horriffic

I remember him as Grant Mitchhil from. I've never watched him documentaries, unfortunately.

Evey

 

[class-a-team]

If anyone's going to try heroin, the important rule is don't use it more than two days on the trot and take long breaks (2 - 3 days off for each day on). Ideally a month or more between indulgences. The longer breaks you can take, the less likely you are to be developing a habit.

The ritual elements of heroin use are psychologically addictive and this compounds the physical addiction.

It's a great stone (otherwise nobody would do it), but it comes at a price for the unwary.

That's what I did for 3+ years and it worked. Used 1-2 days a week and I was never sick.

The problem with opiates is that if they feel nice, they feel nice anywhere at anytime and therein lies the trap....when would you NOT want to feel great?.

That's why if you try them and really like them and you have a predisposition to addiction........... Your fucked.

^ This is also true.

I think the real problem lies in the fact that the people who choose to use the drug are disinhibited enough to do so. Let's be honest, most people shudder at the thought of using heroin. So if the stigma alone isn't enough of a deterrent then chances are you're in a vulnerable position and more susceptible to addiction than most. Not always, of course, but I would say in most cases this is true.

 

[BigG]

^^^true...although don't forget that many (maybe even the majority) of people who are exposed to opiates won't be heroin but prescribed opiates which carry far less stigma but pretty much the same results.

I mean I've never had heroin but have been prescribed high doses of opiates for 20 years and so am as dependent as anyone. The problems that causes arnt the same as those brought on by a heroin habit as cost and availability arnt an issue for me but the physical and mental effects of the drug on my body are the same......I'm rambling now....I did have a point but I've forgotten it now!! Haha!!

 

[swampdragon]

swampy - definely jealous of your trip, though i hope you dont come on too strongly to your hosts there hehe. wish i were in amsterdam and munching a few mushrooms while peoplewatching...

Tehehe, nono, they're far too cute and innocent for that. Though the hot Kiwi doctor that's also staying in our dorm, I would like to do very bad things to.

Coming on too strongly is what swampy does best. I never thought that somebody so seemingly refined could be so careless with her wandering hands after a couple o'bottles of milk stout. 8(

Yeah, sorry about that. "Gropey" is my middle name and I'm on a mission to molest as many men of BL as possible.

 

[BigG]

^^Is this something I can sign up for sawmpy?
Or is it by invitation only?

 

[Sammy G]

Yeah, sorry about that. "Gropey" is my middle name and I'm on a mission to molest as many men of BL as possible.

Ah, I see. Somehow I knew I wasn't a special case, like. :D

Enjoy, and try not to frighten the poor Doctor. They're still in 1954 over there so they're not used to female sexual aggression, wallabies aside.

 

[Chatative]

Fuck me... I'm forever living in my Sister's shadow & it nearly got a lot bigger... she was offered to go on the One Show for one reason & another, I can't really go into details, but she had to decline because as she is 5 months pregnant & said reasons wouldn't be sensible because of that.

Pretty cool she got invited on though.

I think the real problem lies in the fact that the people who choose to use the drug are disinhibited enough to do so. Let's be honest, most people shudder at the thought of using heroin. So if the stigma alone isn't enough of a deterrent then chances are you're in a vulnerable position and more susceptible to addiction than most. Not always, of course, but I would say in most cases this is true.

Yeah, I think I've always wanted to try heroin since coming to BL, but I suspect my reasons for doing so may have not been the best when I did get around to it a couple of months ago. Opportunity was probably the major factor in me trying it but without at doubt, I'm probably not in such a place as it's wise to be dabbling with something that can take away worries & is so addictive. Yet I did.

Now, I've waited a few months but I want to try it again... the doors have been opened. I really shouldn't try it again, there is always that risk but being as opiates are one of the few drugs that are 'ok' for me to use at the moment, it's likely I will eventually.

 

[swampdragon]

^^Is this something I can sign up for sawmpy?
Or is it by invitation only?

Sure, I'm an equal-opportunities groper.