Vaya said:
Look at yourself buddy. Live your life without being on what the general drug-using community would consider absoultely *obscene* amounts of a proven neurotoxic substance. I've been there with the amphetamine addiction, but only to about 180mg a day.
I can not belive you do not desire to get off of this bull you've been clinging to for so long.
I'd even recommend doing something such as drug replacement. Get addicted to marijuana or something. But, please - giving a daily run-down list of the amount of amphetamine you''ve consumed, and ruminating over how and when you will be able to obtain more... openly admitting you're afraid to leave the house?
Trying to obtain methamphetamine instead of the "good ole' Adderall"?
Be smart about something. It's been said to you nicely, angrily, snidely, and calmly. I am giving it to you honestly.
I refuse to speak to you on AIM, as you so often claim to wish. The mere screen name you use is irony in itself - CancerIsKillingYou.
But it is not Cancer that is killing you. But you are dying.
If you brush my comments aside as ridiculous criticism of what you consider to be a successful human existence, than so be it. But happiness, as I have recently learned, does not result from the exchange of paper for pills, beads and powder.
My best wishes on your potential recovery,
Vaya
100% true. not even I can brush your comments of reality aside.I can't think of any thing to say to get around what you said.I can't think.of anything.no excuses or lies that can get me out of what you said.you got through the wall that not even friends or ex friends or best friend or ex best friend in real life. I can't get around your post.I am seriously trying to think of ways and believe me I can usually think of something.I have no sort of come back at all or any reason I can think of to make you wrong.usually the posts to me I can brush off or deny or ignore the truth.especially if I am on a lot at the time and comments are directed to me I can ignore them as if the person didn't know what they were talking about.not even 460mg can get me out of this.
I think if I knew you in real life,you could make me see and realize and probably even help. Funny how your words,did something so many tried to do,in real life or internet,you only said it once. others tried numberous countless wasteful times to just get blocked off at my wall that's so high up.I thought it was unbreakable.I thought I could always get out of the truth of it all and make other's people comments sound like nonsense but not this one.
I don't know how or why I couldn't think of something.the ones who cared,didn't get to me,the ones that hated,didn't,the ones that were trying and really trying and offering their help,didn't,you didn't crack the wall,you broke it to pieces,I have nothing to fight back with.
I think I'm going to save your post on my computer.this is the most dose of reality I had.probably since starting around 2 years ago at 20mg.no one could get through even when it was more likely if I would of listened I would of stopped.no one got through at 100mg or 200mg or 300mg or 400mg because once it got at 100mg+ daily there was no chance then when I started getting higher,I was unreachable.how you got through to me at 400mg with 1 try when none could at even 80mg-100mg is most impressive.
I thought I was unreachable,unbreakable,super-human,the smarter one who could stomp out any dose of reality and just ignore all comments,love,hate,anger,worried,sad,confused,why, whatever way people tried. Not this time.You collapsed my wall that over towered everything.You did something impossible.I am going to save this.it's 1 in a million post.
I tried to twist your words around but there's no place to start.nothing.You are impressive.I bet if I knew you in real life,you would be the one that could make me slow.stop.realize.see.accept. that what I'm doing is harmful and I won't be the one having the last laugh.when 'too much' happens and then it's too late.is all this worth it? that made me feel regret and it's just words.was it really all that fun?all worth it?
how smart was it to climb up,to see how much,you became on top,for what? and was it worth throwing away your life? and destroying your body from the inside out in a game? you are in the lead but death will be at the finished line.too much never comes right?never enough right? hope you're ready when too much comes.