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  • AADD Moderators: swilow | Vagabond696

your *wtf?* moments

WTF moment - happened at work 2 days ago. I work at a car wash and the other day I instructed a customer in a 4WD to park in an empty parking bay next to another 4WD, as he was doing this I was taking down his wash information and sure enough he smashes into the other car. My work mates and I were amazed at how this guy (about 60 years old) had not managed to see that he was going to hit a car. Anyway, when he got out of the car he went to check the front of his three times before he came back to me. I said to him: "Are you going to do anything about that?" And he says: "About what?" - Me "The car you just hit." His response was: "I didn't hit any car..." He walked off - left his car there. We didn't wash it because we thought we might punish him a bit ;) He came back and kept on going on about how he didn't hit the car, when he most blatantly did (and checked his own car out three times at the front when he got out). Anyway, we kept persisting for him to give us his details so we could pass it on to the owner of the other car and he eventually gave in.
 
doofqueen said:
i wish i could pee standing up....
Click to expand...

Doofqueen:

Your wish has come true!!!

female urination device...

This in itself is a wtf moment =D hehehe classic! Actually, i can see the practicality in this product...hmmm....

Check out the important notice on this page LMAO!

Ok, my WTF moment happened on Saturday. My mother in law and I were out shopping...we had to stop at the post office to buy some stamps. We were standing in line, minding out own business, when this well-dressed lady in front of us drops the biggest fart i've ever heard...it had a timbre of a chainsaw and lasted at least 30secs... she didn't flinch.

We were speechless. There were quite a few people in the line, so we had to try to maintain a semblance composure for about 5 minutes. I don't know about the rest of you, but for me, things just seem to get funnier when you're unable to laugh about it. We both had tears running down our faces, it was crazy.
 
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i had a terribly wtf moment sunday morning, guess it doubles as a scattered as fuck moment too.
Friends talked me into going out to Bubble Saturday night (sigh Bubble is still Bubble) and we ended up leaving there at around 11:30am. I was feeling a bit below par but still not too bad. Said my goodbyes and proceeded to drive home. Now I live about 65km south east of the city past Cranbourne in a little sorta semi rural town called Pearcedale. When I got onto the monash freeway it occured to me that I didn't know where i was going. I had forgotten where I lived. I knew the general direction to travel in but was totally fucked on where exactly to go. I ended up on a dirt road in what seemed middle of nowhere totally confused. So I stayed there and cracked open a few (kinda warmish) beers that I had in the car for some reason until I could remember where I live. Eventually my street name came to me (after 6pack of coroner had disapeared) so I started driving round looking for it, then again it occured to me to look in street directory. Turned out I was only 5 mins from my house when i thought i was lost on dirt road. WTF how can 1 person be so dumb?? and not like i had taken a shit load of drugs sat night, just 1 pill and a bit of speed.
What makes it kinda worse is that i've lived in the same place for the lsat 13-14 years!

Beech out
 
samadhi said:
Doofqueen:

Your wish has come true!!!

female urination device...

This in itself is a wtf moment =D hehehe classic! Actually, i can see the practicality in this product...hmmm....

Check out the important notice on this page LMAO!

Ok, my WTF moment happened on Saturday. My mother in law and I were out shopping...we had to stop at the post office to buy some stamps. We were standing in line, minding out own business, when this well-dressed lady in front of us drops the biggest fart i've ever heard...it had a timbre of a chainsaw and lasted at least 30secs... she didn't flinch.

We were speechless. There were quite a few people in the line, so we had to try to maintain a semblance composure for about 5 minutes. I don't know about the rest of you, but for me, things just seem to get funnier when you're unable to laugh about it. We both had tears running down our faces, it was crazy.
Click to expand...



Hahahaha. Samadhi that is fucken funny. Man, I don't know what I would have done in that situation, just tried to remain as composed as I could have I spose. I agree about things getting funnier when you're unable to laugh about it but I would have died if I didn't start laughing after the thirty-second-duration fart. Nice description about the fart - timbre of a chainsaw...
 
Firstly Great Thread !!! %)

WARNING - It's LONG but a true WTF moment

OK my WTF moment happened last night, well to fill you in I'll start it on Sunday afternoon.

As told to me by my dad - My dad was on his way home from the pub and as he was driving up our street this woman jumps out infront of his car holding a little kitten to which my dad stops the car and winds down his window. The stranger walks up to the window and proceeds to start a conversation with my dad in "some weird accent". Anyway my dad quickly ends the conversation and proceeds up our drive way.

About 17:00 as I'm just sitting in my room I hear some woman at the front door talking away to my dad so after I hear the door close and woman walk away I go see who it was and to my surprise see my dad laughing his arse off in the lounge. Apparently it was the same woman asking if my dad had seen her kitten and asking if she could come in and have a chat blah, blah, blah.

Fast Forward to last night about 22:00 I just get in from a mates go to bed. I can hear someone playing music WAY TOO F@*%ing loud for a Sunday night and hear someone laughing and talking in the street. I gat up to look out the window and it is the same girl, I notice she actually just moved in to a house about 6 down from mine and her next door neigbour was out telling her to turn the music down etc. I go back to sleep.

OK I wake up at 2:00 in the morning hearing the bass drum going boom boom fookin' boom and hear somone knocking on my window asking calling for Colin (my dads name). Yeah that's right folks it's the loony from down the street 8(

So by this time I think fuck this I'm either going to tell her where to go or see what was going on in her head. I pick up my smokes and a blunt and walk around the front of the house. She is slightly startled when she see's me but I quickly ofer her a smoke and sit down on the drive. She introduces herself as Mel "as in Mel Gibson" and I introduce myself.

After talking for a while I find out she is quite normal in a weird kind of way, she is 27 and a muslim woman from Turkey who has been here since November and I must say I found her quite attractive. She asked if she can have some of my "Marijuana" (I didn't tell her or ask, she KNEW what it was :\ ) after smoking it she said she had loved talking to me however she must go now & I went back to bed.

WTF

Another thing that freaked me was what she had with her. She was reading the EXACT book I am currently reading ..............Is she stalking us ..........I actually looked at her book because I thoughjt she had stole mine 8o
 
Eventually my street name came to me (after 6pack of coroner had disapeared) so I started driving round looking for it, then again it occured to me to look in street directory.

You had memory loss, downed a six beers then drove around? What the fuck is the matter with you?
 
^^^ Yeah that's my wtf moment!

What the fuck were you doing driving???!!!

Have you no concern for others at all?
 
^^^ thanks guys for echoing what i was just about to ask. beech, what the fuck?

and h@ndo, that's one weird-arse trippy story :) let us know if your new neighbour continues to stalk you!
 
I know its not the best thing to be doing (driving scat and after having few beers). Sometimes your not left with too many options. My options were taxi from city to my house - Cost - $100 or drive home. I elected to drive. You going to tell me that you guys have never driven scattered? I'm not saying that its a great idea, but i think if everyone was totally honest they would admit to driving scattered at some point. With regard to the beers, I dont know how you guys handle alcohol but I handle it fairly well and 6 beers is not a lot. I'm not trying to sound big and macho or anything stupid, all I mean is that its not like I downed a slab and drove. I know it doesn't make a lot of difference but I only drove 5 minutes after having had something to drink.
Hey I'm not saying my behaviour was good but I dont think it is mega bad.

Beech out
 
^^^I doubt very much that you're the only person in the world who's done it, but it's probably not the best story in the world to tell on a site focussed on harm reduction. :\

Not to mention, not remembering where you live is pretty hardcore...and a 6pack of beer is enough to affect your perceptions and reaction times, no matter how much you're used to drinking. I mean it's a funny story regardless, but it doesn't change the fact that what you did was totally irresponsible. Anywho, moving along....

These two stories are from my journal. I think they well qualify as wtf moments..... ;)

First story occurs with me in a convenience store/internet cafe before work. I brought a bottle of coke and a bottle of powerade up to the counter and took out my debit card. Here's the conversation:
ME: "Can I pay for that on eftpos?"
GUY:"Do you know how much it is?"
ME:"Umm, no.."
GUY:"Look up."
(We then spend the next half a minute with me being all like "uhm, what?" and him jerking his head up towards the ceiling like he was having a localised epileptic fit. Eventually I follow his lead and realise he's pointing at a sign with internet prices.)
ME:"Umm, I can only see prices for the internet."
GUY:"Yes, it's $2.25 an hour."
ME:"But I don't want to use the internet, I just want to buy these...oh and don't worry about a plastic bag, thanks."
GUY:"I'm putting them in a bag for you." (He puts them in a plastic bag, takes my card and looks it over.) "Can you pay when you're finished?"
ME:"Buuut...I don't want to use the internet...I just want to buy my drinks."

At this point I was beginning to wonder if I was on drugs and just hadn't realised it yet...the guy rolls his eyes, takes my payment in disgust and then when I take the drinks out of the bag he throws it on the floor because clearly it can't be used anymore...


STORY #2
So I'm at the train station. It's like 11.45pm on a Sunday night. I've got a pen behind my ear while I'm answering a text message on my phone with my notebook on my lap. Stranger who looks suspiciously like the girl from Goldfrapp grabs the pen from behind my ear. Conversation follows.

ME: "Can I have that back please?"
GIRL: "GOD, what are you doing with a pen in your ear?"
ME: "I was about to use it...can you give it back?"
(She does this big sigh of exasperation, hands it back and then spends the next couple of minutes bitching about how I'm SUCH a loser and she was just trying to be friendly and how I'm being an asshole for ignoring her to play with my phone etc etc. Eventually I crack the shits.)
ME: "What's your fucking problem anyway?"
GIRL: "I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY!"
ME: "Well, be friendly with your friends...anyway, have you heard of personal space?"
GIRL: "Well EXCUSE me for making an effort, I thought you'd have a sense of humor...sorry for being so wrong..." (continues in this vein for a while before coming up with the killer..) "Anyway, you ARE wearing GOGGLES!"

...I kind of had to give her that one. I mean I WAS wearing GOGGLES. Anyway, I tried to make friends with her after that because I realised she was just drunk and harmless, but then out of absolutely nowhere she cracked the shits with her friend and yelled this at her:

"GODDAMMIT Michelle, you're not Norvenka from Norway! Stop using that ridiculous Scandinavian accent!"

Which I thought was quite amusing. Because from what I could tell, her friend actually was Norwegian. Or Scandinavian. Or something not in the same general neighbourhood as Australia. Goldfrapp Girl threw a tantrum and totally left the train station. Her faux Norwegian friend had to follow her after I pointed out that it didn't look like she was coming back. The train took another 15 minutes or so and they never came back.

Strange days indeed....
 
^^^ raz, you rule. i need to read your journal methinks :)

Originally posted by Raz
I doubt very much that you're the only person in the world who's done it, but it's probably not the best story in the world to tell on a site focussed on harm reduction. :\

Not to mention, not remembering where you live is pretty hardcore...and a 6pack of beer is enough to affect your perceptions and reaction times, no matter how much you're used to drinking. I mean it's a funny story regardless, but it doesn't change the fact that what you did was totally irresponsible.


and beech, what he said. i think the issue wasn't just that you were scattered and had had a couple of drinks; moreso the fact that you couldn't remember where you lived seems (imho) a pretty serious indictment on your mental state at the time :)

and no, i've never driven home scattered, actually :)
 
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I have a *wtf* moment everytime I walk under this big dog structure thing thats just outside of fairfield train station. Don't know what its purpose is, guess it's just decorative, but it reminds me of the whole 'hide warriors in horse secretly story thing'. But....I *swear* that everytime I walk under it, theres strange noises, like trampling feet....It sounds awfully recorded, and Im always in too much of a hurry to actually stop and walk around it, and try and figure it out...but jesus, do they have to do that?! And it's not in my head ok?!?!? 8(

I also have this other story.... I was at work the other day, and this ladys buying stuff, with her two little kids. Anyway, the little girl is up on the counter, and she looks at me real slyly, and goes "this is helen"...pointing to her mum, sorta drawing it out all cute like. And Im like "ohhhh yeah." And then the mum looks up and goes "Thats not my name. Shes making it up." Then the little girl goes "and Im lola" And the mum goes "Thats not her name. She likes to pretend were another family, and she doesn't belong to us, and has another existence." uh huh. Riiiight. It was better when you could see the kids facial expression. I was like, good work for a 3 year old !!!
 
"The Health-Food Nazi"

I remember this story *fondly* as "The Health-Food Nazi":

Ok...I'm in Newcastle...15 years old...a little skater punk, just doing his thing. I'm skating on a bench outside a shop (clearly not the property of the shop). Then this 45 year old guy comes out of the Health Food Shop and starts yelling irately. "Get off my bench...get outta here ya little cunts"...blah blah blah. I ignore him for a while but he continues and me being a smart ass says: "How about I skate on your steps instead" and then I attempted to 'grind' the small stair out the front of his shop.

Anyway, I'm rolling along this step on my board and suddenly I cop a brutal right fist to the side of my temple, throwing me off balance and back onto the pavement. I stumble backwards towards a car and he lunges at me again. Slamming me up against the car and smashes me again with his right fist. This guy was pretty big and built for an old cunt. My nose was bleeding but thats all I copped as my friends attacked him (they didnt use their skateboards as we could have killed him).

Anyway, 3 of us ended up bashing this Health-Food Guy (not really any worse than he'd got me from behind...fucken dog!!). By this time, the residents of New Lambton (quaint suburb) were watching and we fled the scene. One of my friends went back up the street later and the police were supposedly looking for a "blond-haired youth wearing a green shirt" (ME!!!). I ended up shaving my head that afternoon and never got questioned about the incident. I still can't believe 2 things...this old man tried to bash me! and the police were after me (i was a poor victim of skater prejudice ! ;) ) Like WTF?!?!?!?!

its not really a WTF story...but its still a story, and I was like 'wtf'??
 
my wtf moment is probably one of those stories i should keep to myself but...

the other day my friend was telling me how he had just played golf at the local golf course. hmm, i thought to myself, where is this golf course he speaks of coz i've surely never seen it. after about 5 minutes of contemplation i piped up
'dave, where is the local golf course'?
all my friends were suddenly quite and dave stared at me with a dumbfounded look on his face,
'are you serious' he asks
'you live right across the road from it'!!!

yep, i had a complete blank and convieniently forgot that the large grassy hill across the road from me was the golf course. now i've lived here for 8 years and it is DIRECTLY across the road, i mean my windows front onto it and there aren't even houses blocking the view. yep, i felt fuckin dumb
 
After a rave last year me and a group of friends decided to call a maxi taxi rather than brave public transport... we'd all had quite a big night ;) Anyway, the trip home was about an hour and we were all just relaxing in the cab when suddenly my friend moans "wtf..." We all looked up as we passed a full size thomas the tank engine driving down the st. Haha, we were all so scattered it was quite head fuck!
 
my friend and i were sitting at the back of a pretty empty tram with this goth sitting opposite us. the whole time he was giving us and everything around him this glare of death and seemed to take himself quite seriously. then suddenly the tram came to a halt, everyone was like '..woooah..' and grabbed onto something to balance themselves or whatever... but the goth (for TWO whole minutes- which is actually a really long time) proceded to be thrown around the back of the tram, he was banging into anything and everything, his body was wacked on the floor, poles etc. and then finallly he got up, sat on his seat and glared again like nothing had happened.

it was hard not to laugh...
 
yeah in relation to the fire extinguisher selling telemarketer people, i have been getting calls on my home phone every night from them. They are actually calling from India and not Australia, as some Australian company obviously subcontracts an Indian telemarketing company for 2 rupiah a year to do their work for them.
I just can't help but laugh when they say they are calling from the Australian Fire Protection Service and then I ask them if they are calling from India and they say yes. They don't really know what to say to that!

On a side note, did you guys know that toi be a telemarketer in India, you need to have a telecommunications or marketing degree?

Weird....

anyway what the fuck am I doing posting again on Bluelight? I thought I left this place....
 
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