lorazepam/Ativan. i don't feel 'high,' i don't feel tired, i just feel like i'm free to be myself without getting caught up in the compulsive worrying and other antisocial/neurotic/self-destructive bullshit that otherwise prevents me from enjoying myself in social settings, or even public settings, most of the time. it's fast-acting and lasts long enough for my needs, and i can either take it prophylactically in the mornings, or as-needed for anxiety/panic attacks. if i choose the former method, i'll simply realize at the end of the day that i was able to go to the grocery store and talk in class, etc., without freaking the fuck out about it for no good reason. as for the latter, it's a life-saver - if i notice my brow furrowing, i take a small dose and usually smoke a bowl, then i find i can laugh at myself and enjoy being me, being alive, without overanalyzing everything to the point of constant misery. three cheers for bennies!