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You Might Be A Junkie If... v. Oops, I nodded with the needle still in.

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belligerent drunk said:
IV drug use is an art.
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The process, as in Medicine, is simply a rapid, efficient means to an end. That is not art. The process, as in shooting up 60 units of Heroin infusion, is so incredibly complex in terms of its effects on one's psychology. That is art.

You might be a Junkie if you elucidate on the finer aspects of shooting up Smack from an art perspective.

You might be a Junkie if you've ever had oddly sexual thoughts about a 1ml syringe.

You might be a Junkie if you shoot up Saline just to satiate the needle fixation until you can immediately shoot up after scoring.

You might be a Junkie if you had little problem with shooting up 10 times a day as long as you were getting high.

You might be a Junkie if you now regret gaining some fukkin' sweet connections as it's hard not to make the most of 24/7, anywhere up to 30 miles away, delivery of damn decent Heroin.

<3
 
Erikmen said:
Only think of money and despair but every time you shoot you simply don't care.
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Is that a quote from something? I really like it.. such sad truths though.

You might be a junkie if the little marshmallows you can put in your 7-11 coffee are a trigger because they look just like the filters you get in the cooker packages from the local needle exchange... lol
 
No. I wrote it myself as it seems like it's the only way we can cope with it.

I can relate to your analogy.
Now when I look at a marshmallow I'll remember this. Indeed it's like a filter.
 
You might be a Junkie if Intoxicated You has resorted to leaving gifts of drugs for Sober You to find and appreciate so much more.

<3
 
You might be a junkie if you have spent more than a couple of hours looking into different trash cans to ensure you didn't through anything worth using. Or if you continue looking all over the house for the 5th time to make sure there isn't anything left to use.

When you spend all of your savings + your partners and think one more shot will make you forget all of this.
 
You might be a junkie if you wake up really disappointed, not because you are dreaming of using and that it wasn't real, but because you dream of going to use, and then you lose your drugs and spend the rest of your dream searching for them.

Not only were the drugs not real, but you never even got to do them!!!

This happens way too often.
 
^ Ouch. I have had days like this. And it's not an easy feeling to deal with.
Spot on Verri.

No money, no dream, no perspective. On top of being sick soon after that.
 
It's a Tuesday night and rather than getting sleep for work I've stayed up smoking crystal under my bedcovers, in my bedroom, at my parents house, where I live. I'm 29.
 
You might be a junkie if you are thinking about it right now. Or if you can't remember the day you haven't thought of it.
Scary ha. It's a tough business and I wish I could just delete my first experiences. Specially with Opium.
 
That's gotta be totally counterproductive. But only a junkie would understand that.
 
Tell me about it. I've flushed all my rc's today though but couldn't bring myself to flushing my last 3mg of sub. I've decided to take things more seriously once I've finished the sub. (Have 1mg left now. :p )
 
Well, flushing down your substances is definitely a great start no matter the outcome - you are drafting a path.
Good luck Pill2Chill!
Erik
 
You know you're a junkie when you wake up from a sleep (that the drug gave you) and you had a dream of using the drug, and buying more then you normally do. Relieving the pressure of having to find more that day, yet you just dreamt that... and you still have to find a way to get your fix.
 
When you are abusing drugs and feel you can control it. Some sayings are classic;
"I can stop whenever I want. Not today but eventually."
"I'm different, people don't understand me."
"It's not a big deal."
"I'm taking their money because they have a lot more. This would be nothing"
 
You might be a junkie if you wait all day to pick up one 30mg capsule of hydro and tell yourself, "I should save half of this for tomorrow morning before work."
Then that soon turns into, "maybe I'll just save a small portion of it."
then the moment you get home you think to yourself, " who the hell was I trying to kid?" as you bang the whole 30 mg.
Telling yourself, " I'll just save the wash for tomorrow...."

And you might be a junkie if you know for a fact you are still lying to yourself about saving that wash, when really it won't even last another few hours before going back in the rig. *sigh*
 
^ You've mentioned something about Subs. It's an alternative, better than Methadone. They didn't have Subs when I needed to quit and my routine, using that much opiates had to be stopped. I felt better and had a "normal" life for years with methadone.

If you are having difficulties in quitting, subs are much better than methadone as I've heard. What's you daily intake?

Get better. Find your strength. It's there.
If I could, you can. Seriously .. <3
 
Erikmen said:
What's you daily intake?
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I'm not at a very high dose at all because I cannot afford to be which is pretty much the deciding factor. Otherwise I'd be using a hell of a lot more. I'm at a point where I'm using about 8mg-30mg hydromorph daily. It really fluctuates because it's hard for me to even find enough cash/people to hook up to make it everyday lately . Back before I lost my decent job, I was doing like 30-60mgs daily. but I managed to ween down and get my tolerance to a tolerable level lol.
Like, I don't even know what a high dose is for daily use anyway, I'm so used to shooting like 12mg a day to keep the wds at bay, but really I'll take any amount I can. I hear stories of people doing like 100+mgs daily, thats a lot for me. I don't use a huge amount but it is a daily ritual which is a big part of the difficulty in quitting, I know you know that. It's so hard to put the needle down and pick up a paintbrush. Man I miss art...

OT: You might be a junkie if you use to get well not to get high....
 
Papaverium said:
OT: You might be a junkie if you use to get well not to get high....
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Another way to word it, "you might be a junkie if recreational drugs have long become medicine for you, that you need daily to feel well"

Erikmen said:
When you are abusing drugs and feel you can control it. Some sayings are classic;
"I can stop whenever I want. Not today but eventually."
"I'm different, people don't understand me."
"It's not a big deal."
"I'm taking their money because they have a lot more. This would be nothing"
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It's scary how the first three apply to me so well. I guess the middle two aren't too much of a miss in my case; my life IS in control... at least for now.

But the first one. I keep telling that to myself citing previous examples where I (partially forcibly, as I had to be away from home for some days) did stop for a bit and hadn't thought twice about it. But when it comes to voluntarily taking even a day or two off, it has been impossible so far. The morning's fine, I'm busy working and/or reading, I actually don't enjoy being high in the morning so I think to myself "this is going to be easy, it's just ONE day after all". Then afternoon I start getting tired from work so it changes to "damn, it would be hella nice to just kick back and chill in the evening (means get high)". Then as soon as I go home, it changes to "fuck it, I'll do it another time; for now it's time to get high - after all, it doesn't hurt me!".

Pill2Chill said:
Tell me about it. I've flushed all my rc's today though but couldn't bring myself to flushing my last 3mg of sub. I've decided to take things more seriously once I've finished the sub. (Have 1mg left now. :p )
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That's a good decision. Are you going to get rid of the freshly arrived O-DSMT too? Good luck staying clean!
 
I haven't decided. Opioids are the most difficult for me to stay away from, by far. Don't think I'll be able to toss a fresh 2g baggy of O-DT tbh. We'll see I guess.
 
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