When you spend most of your free time theorizing how to get weed/money for weed out of people.
When you have at least one pipe on you at all times.
When you have either Visine red eye relief or Visine 6 hr redness relief on you at all times (bonus if you store it in the refridgerator!)
When you wake up in the morning and either cough or remark on how dry your mouth is.
When you can tell how good the weed is by smelling it (bonus if you don't even have to open the bag!).
When you can eyeball a gram perfectly.
When you wake up in a sea of food wrappers one day and wonder what happened.
When you repeatedly watch a movie every time you're stoned and never remember just how it ends.
When you start telling a story about something that happened to a friend but realize that you're telling it to that very person.
When you burp and a puff of smoke comes out.
When you replace the word "empty" or "gone" with "cashed".
When you consider selling a prized possession/body part to score some bud.
When you tell a friend that you haven't smoked in 3 days and they gasp.
When you think it's your first bowl of the day every single time.
When you drive through a heavily vegetated area and wonder how much weed you could grow there.
When you can look at any storage item and theorize on how you could make it into a smoking device.
When all your friends know why you bought those White Owl cigars.
When you ponder/theorize how much Snoop Dogg smokes each day and proceed to remark, "I wanna be the next snoop, mom!"
When you laugh everytime you hear the following [normal] terms: 420, mary jane, pot, bowl, dank, bake[r], stone[d], high, rip[ped], cash[ed], blaze[d], weed, grass, tea, dope, pipe.
When you cry upon realizing that everyone you know is dry.
When you buy a food item just because the packaging includes "baked".
When you decide against hanging out with someone merely because you know they won't smoke with you.
When you decide to hang out with someone just because you know they'll smoke with you.
When your criteria of a good friend includes "sweet bong" and "always has weed".
When you scrape a bowl, smoke the resin, and then scrape again to smoke that resin.
When you use the word "stoned" to describe everything e.g. "that movie is so stoned"
When you've been listening to the same song on repeat for 20 min.
When everytime you get money you instantly think about how much weed you can get.
When you hollow out the anus of your stuffed animal to hide your pipe in.
When you only buy Bics.
When the bottom corner of your Bic is ashy.
When you don't know your multiplication tables but you know weight conversion tables perfectly.
When you base your respect of others on any of the following criteria: pipe collection, amount of weed, size of hits, how long they hold hits, quality of bud, when they come prepared with drink.
When deciding if you want to hang out at a person's house, you consider whether or not it's "chill" to smoke there.
When you know if it's Pot or Not.
When you consider the terms "narc" or "lightweight" to be more offensive than "asshole" or "fucker".