Hey guys, I noticed several complaints on this thread about the member claiming to be a doctor and giving harmful advice. PLEASE report posts that don't follow the BLUA and OD Guidelines. If you don't report it, I can't guarantee that I'll see it.
OP, why are you opposed to Seroquel? I was on it when I first got out of rehab and was getting stabilized on subs. It really saved my ass, took a week or two to get used to it but it helped me sleep so my body could rest and heal and also drastically reduced my anxiety and mania. I no longer feel the need to take it and couldn't anyway now that I have a young child but it's great for situations like the one you're in.
If you're going to go on an antidepressant I would go with Mirtazapine over a SSRI. It's old school, I believe it's a tetracyclic. I also don't respond well to SSRIs but had no side effects from mirtazapine. It doesn't feel like any antidepressant I've taken, it just really helps with sleep and anxiety. You take it before bed. Lower doses are actually more sedating while higher ones help with anxiety and depression more. It's also a super cheap medication, especially of you get the generic and use a GoodRX.com discount code.
Glad your bupe taper is going well. Now that you're almost to 2mg, I'd take it slow. That was the easy part but once you get lower it gets tough. I'd taper all the way down to .25 and then take that every other day before jumping off tbh. Bupe is more potent than people realize. If you're worried about cost, GoodRX.com is awesome and they list the prices at various pharmacies. If you can get prescribed just Subutex (plain bupe) instead of Suboxone (bupe and nalaxone) the generic is WAY cheaper. Shouldn't be hard if you've been stable on subs a while and explain that it's because you're struggling to pay it.
I can't believe your doctor did that. It's gross negligence and people have died from seizures caused by benzos withdrawal. When he cut you off, did you ask for a taper plan? Also are you just blacklisted in your town? I don't know any doctor who wouldn't have at least written a last script with a rapid taper plan to cover their ass. Unfortunately you learned a very hard lesson... when you're an addict and prescribed a controlled substance you have to be super diligent and on top of it because you won't get the benefit of the doubt if anything comes up.
Sounds like you're past the need of inpatient treatment. But I don't know of any rehab that would CT you off buprenorphine if you are legally prescribed and came in with it. If you can't be on it there they typically taper you. Might be a good idea to be in a rehab setting once you get to the end of your taper. I do think you need some type of daily recovery though regardless. Is there out patient treatment in your town? Or can you see a counselor who's well versed in substance abuse? AA or NA meetings are everywhere, I'm in recovery myself (heroin, cocaine, and benzos) and prefer AA over NA especially the young people's meetings. There's also meetings online both 12 step and non 12 step like LifeRing and SMART Recovery. And check out the Recovery section here on BL.
Sorry for the length, I'm tired and rambling. Best of luck OP.