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would you ever pay for sex?

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Never.

Sex to me only works if I know the other is really in to it. Paying someone to fuck instantly throws that out the window, even if they are hot for you it sows a seed of doubt.

Stay physically fit and it shouldn’t ever be much of a problem. That said women will always have it easier than men.

-GC
 
G_Chem said:
Never.

Sex to me only works if I know the other is really in to it. Paying someone to fuck instantly throws that out the window, even if they are hot for you it sows a seed of doubt.

Stay physically fit and it shouldn’t ever be much of a problem. That said women will always have it easier than men.

-GC
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Thats one of the reasons i play the field and go both ways... also because im promiscuous as fuck. But betweem Bumble, OkCupid, Tinder and Grinder i have new people messaging me every 5 or 10 mins. Both men and woman but deff more guys cuz we hook up no strings attached more frequently. But that being said on Bumble in particular i get numerous woman perday the key is to like alot of their profiles and most of them id say the majority are hot in my area. I have one of the popular profiles on there they tell me, i was blessed and im pretty good looking guy tho so i have that going for me. Sometimes when people find out how much drugs i use it if they pass judgement or get annoying i just move on to my next one's i wanna play around with...
 
Never.

Except I did one time, though it wasnt part of the plan. I was 17 and had had girlfriends and a great deal of sex at that point (had even gotten someone temporarily pregnant) but had a friend who was turning 18 and was a virgin.

So i told him ok, im going to buy you a prostitute and we went down to where the street prostitutes were and after a long search found a decent one.

She was black and actually fairly attractive. Maybe 38 years old. We picked her up and she directed us to a motel in hollywood.

I went in to negotiate the price, $200 she wanted. She sort of just went at me and in no time had my dick out. She just went at it and next thing you know im on top of her and im going at it but watching the TV she had on. It was the news and they were talking about some baseball game. She's said to me, "hey baby why are you watching the TV". I was just sort of dissociated through it all.

I then said, ok so what about my friend, this was supposed to be for my friend and she just starts screaming out of nowhere making a commotion (i think she was drunk) so i just ran out of there 😭

Of course we have all paid for sex in some form but this was the only time i exchanged dollars in this format.
 
If someone I cared about had seen a prostitute. I'd be disappointed. I wouldn't reject them over it, but I'd wanna talk to them and share our perspectives, get an idea of why he feels the need to pay for sex and why I tend to feel negatively towards men who do.

Id never pay for sex myself. Even putting aside any of the usual assertions abont how hard it is or isn't for straight women to find sex, or any of my concerns about the morality or prostitution and consent and shit. I'm just not "that" interested in sex and I can't see that I'd ever want it so bad as to feel the need to pay for it.
 
schizopath said:
So Jess, would it be better to be somekind of an pickup artist slaying dozens of women a month or just straight up pay for it (like pick up artists do in a way)?
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Thats an interesting distinction. I suppose the guy who pays for sex probably isnt as bad as the guy who serially emotionally manipulates women into it.
 
schizopath said:
So Jess, would it be better to be somekind of an pickup artist slaying dozens of women a month or just straight up pay for it (like pick up artists do in a way)?
Click to expand...

I don't see why I need pick. I don't especially care for either.

negrogesic said:
Thats an interesting distinction. I suppose the guy who pays for sex probably isnt as bad as the guy who serially emotionally manipulates women into it.
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Yeah I mean if I had to pick one, the pick up artist is worse. He clearly just sees women as objects. The guy paying for it might legitimately not realize the moral issues.

And at least in that situation the women are being paid to be treated like objects. And everyone's being more upfront about what they're doing and what the exchange is.

So yea if I gotta pick, pick up artists are pretty much always scumbags. While men who see prostitutes are only sometimes scumbags.
 
schizopath said:
You seen women being treated like objects is just in your head. Heh, unless thats what she likes though. Idk, theres objectively more women staying with richer spouses because of money, isnt that an deal sort of too?
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Well yea prolly. I'm not sure what point you're going for though.
 
JessFR said:
. The guy paying for it might legitimately not realize the moral issues.

And at least in that situation the women are being paid to be treated like objects.
Click to expand...
I know we touched on this in other threads - which caused me to reflect greatly on my involvement with sex workers - however I feel I can honestly say that I never saw or treated a sex worker as an object. Unless I really have a blind spot in this area of my self-awareness I’m pretty confident that I treated each one respectfully as a human being and felt the money was incidental (in the sense that I didn’t think it bought me any rights to do anything in particular other than have the woman’s time).

Now I can see that from the perspective of the woman she may have felt she had no choice to comply with what I put out there genuinely as requests or suggestions. But whenever I asked “would you mind if I X” or “would you mind doing Y” I was fine if the answer was no. It just meant that I would likely not return for a second visit because that particular woman and I were incompatible.

I never ever asked how a woman got into prostitution and certainly never asked if there was something she would rather be doing instead. But in the places I frequented I presumed she was there under her own volition. However, sometimes our choices with what we do with our lives are constrained in terrible but not obvious ways. For example, I would probably never have become a hard core injecting drug addict if I has not been sexually abused between ages 7-9. In actual fact I would strongly like not to be an injecting drug user and deeply regret ever having become one. So I struggle with people who say taking drugs is ‘my own free choice’. Similarly, while these women might have applied to a job ad and seemingly willingly chosen sex work, I can easily imagine that deep in their past their might be trauma that made them feel they had few other options. So was that choice really ‘free’?

Ultimately I choose to believe that the sex workers I most connected with were like me in the sense that they had not had an easy life, had been treated badly by people they trusted, knew they were not living their best possible life, but also appreciated the chance to connect with a totally non-judgemental and undemanding person concerned to make the other as happy as possible in the short time available and under the somewhat degraded circumstances of both lives.

However, of the maybe 50 sex workers I spent time with in the last year, I found such a connection maybe 3 times. Perhaps another 10 attained a level of mutual professional respect. For the rest I’m sure I was deliberately forgotten the moment I left no matter how respectful I tried to be. The one thing I did not really experience too often was a clear cut mercenary ‘clean out his wallet’ attitude.

@JessFR I do really wonder if there is a big difference in how former sex workers perceive things between those who grudgingly did street work only to get their next heroin shot versus those without drug addiction who work more ‘professionally’ (for want of a better term) in brothels.
 
schizopath said:
Yes of course. I dont break professional boundaries. Unless she has given me the right to.

This is little different with junkie women though...
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I get that, but that’s not quite what I meant. The ability of people to make choices is constrained by many factors in their upbringing and present day social circumstances. Many people simply cannot see a wide range of choices in front of them. For example a person in a third generation welfare family whose father has been in prison since they were born and whose mother is drug addicted sex worker concerned only with scamming enough for the next shot is unlikely to imagine they could be a neurosurgeon - no matter their natural abilities. In that sense they are unfree to make choices because they cannot even see that they have choices.
 
Atelier3 said:
I know we touched on this in other threads - which caused me to reflect greatly on my involvement with sex workers - however I feel I can honestly say that I never saw or treated a sex worker as an object. Unless I really have a blind spot in this area of my self-awareness I’m pretty confident that I treated each one respectfully as a human being and felt the money was incidental (in the sense that I didn’t think it bought me any rights to do anything in particular other than have the woman’s time).

Now I can see that from the perspective of the woman she may have felt she had no choice to comply with what I put out there genuinely as requests or suggestions. But whenever I asked “would you mind if I X” or “would you mind doing Y” I was fine if the answer was no. It just meant that I would likely not return for a second visit because that particular woman and I were incompatible.

I never ever asked how a woman got into prostitution and certainly never asked if there was something she would rather be doing instead. But in the places I frequented I presumed she was there under her own volition. However, sometimes our choices with what we do with our lives are constrained in terrible but not obvious ways. For example, I would probably never have become a hard core injecting drug addict if I has not been sexually abused between ages 7-9. In actual fact I would strongly like not to be an injecting drug user and deeply regret ever having become one. So I struggle with people who say taking drugs is ‘my own free choice’. Similarly, while these women might have applied to a job ad and seemingly willingly chosen sex work, I can easily imagine that deep in their past their might be trauma that made them feel they had few other options. So was that choice really ‘free’?

Ultimately I choose to believe that the sex workers I most connected with were like me in the sense that they had not had an easy life, had been treated badly by people they trusted, knew they were not living their best possible life, but also appreciated the chance to connect with a totally non-judgemental and undemanding person concerned to make the other as happy as possible in the short time available and under the somewhat degraded circumstances of both lives.

However, of the maybe 50 sex workers I spent time with in the last year, I found such a connection maybe 3 times. Perhaps another 10 attained a level of mutual professional respect. For the rest I’m sure I was deliberately forgotten the moment I left no matter how respectful I tried to be. The one thing I did not really experience too often was a clear cut mercenary ‘clean out his wallet’ attitude.

@JessFR I do really wonder if there is a big difference in how former sex workers perceive things between those who grudgingly did street work only to get their next heroin shot versus those without drug addiction who work more ‘professionally’ (for want of a better term) in brothels.
Click to expand...
If you truly want an insight on the sex trade, I suggest the YouTube or patreon channel soft white underbelly. Subscribe click playlists and hit sex workers. It’s a lot simpler yet more complicated than your deductions. Short videos, very interesting
 
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