Let's try to keep conversation compact and tidy together, please.
When one reaches their limit, for instance in one case of mine, after trying for multiple weeks to diffuse 2 middle aged mens differences, specifically being unable to avoid the others last post without the final word, both of the parties, perfect to form, put me right in my shinebox in separate but identical criticisms. Sure, they considered each other as liars but, when it was suggested they take the high road and avoid interacting they rightfully both accused me of wanting an equal outcome for both instead of taking a side like competent moderators.
As the customer is always right they had proof in hand of my ineffectiveness, as I should have been decisive and issued a temp ban to the other party, whom I had allowed to behave in a hateful manner. So with nothing to work with beyond the definition of moderator, I issued what depite being an official warning, was still the least restrictive recorded disciplinary action available to forum mods at the time. One of the guys finally decided that the warning was for the best and keen to avoid a needless temp. holiday from BL and spent 4 days ignoring the gaslighting by the more self important party. despite making at least some effort, the row exploded but with nothing to discuss, they could only insist that the other was bullshitting about anything without matter.
So after literally being told by the least satisfied party that my hard work trying to resolve the problems was far from virtuous, the most pathetic example of how my performance was nothing to do with how hard I worked on things and was only reflected by my resolution, on the condition of course that it was in his favour, after which he would be prepared to contact my supervising Smod to recommend whether or not the harm I had caused to the forums morale warranted nothing more than my immediate removal from the Volunteer Staff, or if a permanent ban was the only way to restore the forums confidence.
So, following the next tranche of vile and violent posts I just did the best thing for EADD and scrubbed the posts so far back they would not even be able to remember where it starts. the more difficult member had histrionics claiming that without his collection of violent threats and vile insults I was censoring him so he could not show people how he was in the right all along. I don't think its best practise, but with a committed audience within 'the plugging hole as I was blogging the whole thing I was able to make people aware of what, despite being a drastic reaction, was the only solution to two members who, had no desire to find a solution as I could be blamed after the more problematic member could emasculate my efforts in manging my emotions, on one occasion calling me every vile thing from being a piece of shit junky who needed to remember how much I fucked up my life if I ever felt selfish enough to experience a positive mood, that his addiction to Class A poppies was justified due to his chronic pain and how I should forget ever trying to gain meaningful employment again after the mockery I made of my volunteer role at BL, including how I must have been a useless nurse all along even prior to my troubles. Finishing off with his favourite theme, he decided that I had been lying about my past for the 2 years I had been in the role and, being a single middle aged man I was probably molesting children, which was a really weird thing to conclude.
Sorrry, more rant rant rant (fookin wiz) but as long as you can save what you need for subsequent recovery to the forum I can empathise with the occasional BS purge.
Fin