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Why women are attracted to the assholes

Amebix said:
Youd have to be there, it wasnt simple teasing. I can tell the difference between simple teasing and something darogatory thanks. I might not be describing the scene very well but youll have to trust me that there was something at play there and i want to know what it was. These girls could easily have found a guy that would have treated them better, but for some reason they were drawn to this behavior.
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Well to people that don't live at the flat or people who arn't adoptive flatties would consider what I do as derogatory. I even act serious as it adds to the whole 'act' of it.
What you see playing out in public isn't always what it's like behind closed doors... I think you're assuming too much in this situation
 
i have had low self esteem for as long as i can remember, this has been reflected in my choice of men most of all.

Im becoming more confident the older i get & im very well aware of what i deserve now. It took a few wrong guys to get me to this point tho.

Having come from an abusive family, i know that a lot of girls put up with it because its somewhat familiar (ie : they havent seen how they "should" be treated). Its psychological. They dont actually enjoy being treated that way.

i have 101 views on this topic alone tho, i dont think there is any straight forward answer.
 
I've noticed a lot with guys that its kind of all or nothing. Its hard to find a guy that is not a pushover or not an asshole. Its really annoying being with a guy that will do whatever you what when you want it how you want it. fuck that shit
 
This has to do with both self esteem and the nature of wanting. Women see men who act aloof and like an asshole as having some kind of mythical power. Men learn acting in this manner projects power which in combination with throwing money around attracts women. I know a 63 year old man, who because he has money, acts as though he can treat women however he likes and usually has some shallow little girl, barely 21, hanging on his arm. She's expecting him to buy her something expensive, which he probably won't. He's expecting to bed her, which he probably will. Women often see men with a lot of money as good providers, when often they are just selfish assholes with a lot of money. Money often comes with feeling of entitlement, they rather go hand in hand. How often do you find a rich, nice, grounded guy who drives a Mercedes or Porsche and gives 25% of his money to help starving orphans in Nepal? Almost never! I won't say never because there is always the anomaly, but most guys of that ilk are usually assholes, they are for a reason. I know, I know, some out there are going to be screaming that I'm stereotyping, but stereotypes are in place in peoples mind for a reason, usually because there is some truth to them, there are ALWAYS exceptions. So instead of talking in absolutes, lets talk general tendencies.
You don't see nice guys walking around with the hot girl because nice guys don't have the screw your neighbor attitude it takes to get ahead of the other assholes, and the aloof, shallow attitude it takes to project that kind of power. Women see openness as vulnerablity, and they only want their men to be vulnerable when they're being emotional. Asshole guys are never emotional, their too selfish and shallow to be touchy-feely with their emotions. I have seen this far too many times, a woman will go for the asshole-prick rather than the nice guy who is really what they want. But they want the asshole-prick to change into the nice guy just for them. In short, dream-on ladies. Assholes are assholes for a reason, money/priviledge gives guys a sense of entitlement, social status reinforces it. Projecting attitude or emotional aloofness projects elitism, which somehow equates to coolness in peoples minds and somehow make these pricks more desirable. Ninety percent of this is allusory, money=cool=desirable. BUT, the guys who do this are not cool or desirable, the money may be but they are not. Often abusive or mesoginistic, money gives even mediocre looking assholes more power over women than they often know how to handle. That 63 y.o. guy mentioned above, average looks, obnoxious personality (can seem charming at first), nice car, nice clothes, all the things Money can buy, and a crappy attitude toward women. And whats worse is he knows his money is all he has going for him, but the point is, money all too often is enough. Too bad, too many women see dollar signs first or power rather than sincerity, or something else more genuine. Eh, the world spins on!8)

I'm with Nero, kill the lawyers first!
 
girls love assholes. assholes some off as confident, arrogant, sure of themselves. most girls just dig that. also lots of girls are horribly masochistic.
 
don't doubt girls suffer low self esteem as guys do... or that it leads to equally perculiar behaviour. also don't doubt that the average human is really just a still growing monkey.
 
of course guys suffer from low self esteem I know I do more then most. The big difference however is that guys can generally mask there emotions, and hide the way they're feeling it['s rare that a guy will openly admit he's feeling like shit, or down about something rather instead we bottle it up or push it away.

At the end of it all guys can be just as masochistic as women, the big difference is that we're generally to stuborn or tough (or both) to outwardly show our emotions
 
Its really annoying being with a guy that will do whatever you what when you want it how you want it. fuck that shit
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Yeah that would just be awful. /sarcasm
 
Men like confident women, no? Well, women like confident men. Unfortunately, confident often = cocky and assholish, because it's too far toward the extreme. It's hard to find a guy that's very confident but isn't across that line where it becomes bad behavior. So girls will just take what they can get... You can get into the whole discussion too about what girls are programmed/expected to like. Social "brainwashing" makes girls think they are supposed to be with these hypermasculine uber-dicks, so subconsciously they go for that type, etc etc etc...
 
eater said:
Well to people that don't live at the flat or people who arn't adoptive flatties would consider what I do as derogatory. I even act serious as it adds to the whole 'act' of it.
What you see playing out in public isn't always what it's like behind closed doors... I think you're assuming too much in this situation
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No, i knew they guy in question for years. Anyway, like i said

Amebix said:
Youd have to be there, it wasnt simple teasing. I can tell the difference between simple teasing and something darogatory thanks. I might not be describing the scene very well but youll have to trust me that there was something at play there and i want to know what it was.
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Right....who else likes assholes? the goddamn fucking world, stupids! The world chooses assholes, too. they succeed! Of course! So, women choose guys who succeed - who succeeds? Assholes, usually, because that's how the cookie crumbles! HAHAHA!! YAY!
 
Im yet to meet someone who is happy with an "asshole"...
All of my friends are with nice guys. Real, genuine, not pussy, nice guys. So nice guys dont always finish last.

Ive fallen for assholes before, so have a lot of my friends. None of us were silly enough to have a commited relationship with these guys tho. Thats where i think assholes lose out.
Sure, girls may be drawn to the confidence that an asshole exudes but when it comes to the love and commitment side of it no girl will ever really commit her heart to someone who doesnt treat her right.

The women you see commited to men who treat her bad were most likely not like that at the beginning/
 
supertrav77 said:
because assholes remind them of their fathers. Next question?
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So you think women want to have sex with their fathers?

I think you may be the next Freud.
 
many women are attracted to arseholes, but not all women are like that.

the ones that are secretly want to be gay men.
 
9mmCensor said:
So you think women want to have sex with their fathers?

I think you may be the next Freud.
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that's not it at all, it's more so looking for the love these parents wouldn't give them in the first place.
 
kittyinthedark said:

confident often = cocky and assholish
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With the tremendous amount of respect I accord to KITD's opinions, on this one, I strenuously dissent.

In fact, it is my opinion that the greatest display of TRUE GENUINE CONFIDENCE is NEVER feeling the need to act "cocky and assholish."

In my experience, men (and women) who act "cocky and assholish" are NOT genuinely confident, but rather, are usually SOMEWHAT confident that they possess SOME valuable attributes (i.e., looks, money, personality, social status) but ARE *NOT* confident, but rather are downright INSECURE at their respective cores.

Genuinely confident men don't feel the need to act "cocky and assholish."

Ever.
 
^You misunderstand my dear.

Of course true confidence has nothing to do with being overly cocky or being an asshole, however, those two traits fall on that end of the spectrum. Women go looking at that end, and often overshoot their goal. It really is a continuum - often the most cocky, obnoxious guys are the ones that are the least secure. But we usually only see the outside at first...
 
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