It's fun at first, until you're lying in bed sweating hot, freezing cold, muscles aching, stomach cramps, you cant eat, you cant shit, you can't even move except for the uncontrolable twitches over your entire body. That isn't fun. And even when you do use again, and the sickness dissapears heroin still isn't fun-its a means to feel normal. A means to move your legs to the side of the bed and stand up and drive your car to get more heroin so that you can continue to function. And thats about the only pleasure that heroin gives at this point.
yeah tell me about it. if you think heroin addiction is easy or fun then you have never been addicted. period. although i absolutely love the shit, don't get me wrong, there are side effects. friends going to jail... regularly. cars getting impounded by the chicago police. suddenly finding yourself walking through the west side, your white ass sticking out, hoping not to get raped, beat, mugged, or arrested. yeah, it happens. watching friends hawk shit (hmhmm, ali), their parents shit, to get a fix. bruises. having to wear long sleeve shirts in hundred degree weather so you won't get weird stares. you can't come... or go to the bathroom (or it fuckin hurts, sorry to share that). lying, always lying. your friends always lying. not being able to trust them, guarding your shit for your life, cause they will take it. im not saying every person addicted to heroin does this. this is just what i've experienced. and not getting high anymore. spending 40 bucks a day just to walk. i miss the days when i could still get high. i don't know what happened. dealing with assholes, sketchy, crazy, annoying, rude people just to get a ride into the city. and the very worst... running out. i just went through withdraw (yeah, im clean as of two days ago) and it was hell. if you've never spent days feeling like someone is slowly slicing you to pieces with a razor... that's why the shit is hard to get off of. its painful. meeting junkies in their 20s, 30s, who've been using for a decade and CAN'T STOP. sad parents, fucked up kids. it hurts me to listen to someone who wants to quit so badly, get their life on track, finish college, whatever... but can't. and doesn't. and if you are a casual user, props to ya, but that won't last forever. enjoy the high while you still have it.
-staind rose-
sorry about the rambling, just my thoughts on the shit. of course there is nothing better then watching the blood shoot into the rig, mix with the dope, and glide into your vein. ohhh. check out my signature... that pretty much says it all.
[ 21 September 2002: Message edited by: staind rose ]