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Why do we have to be faithful ???

alasdairm said:
being in love and in a committed relationship and having sex with women other than your partner need not necessarily be mutually exclusive but the boundaries of a relationship are defined by both partners so if this is something you want to explore, you need to discuss it with your wife. if it's not something she's comfortable exploring, you'll have to find a way to stick to the vow you made or explore other options (divorce, etc.)
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Wise words
 
skittlesxo said:
I think you only have to be emotionally faithful. If you have sex with other women with no feelings involved, I do not see how that is cheating. I allow my boyfriend and encourage him to have sex with other women, I am not jealous because i am not insecure..I know he only LOVES me and has FEELINGS for me ONLY.When there is jealousy there is no love.IMO
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That's exactly what I am talking about but without the consent of my wife !!! I only love her and only have feelings for her but want sex, just sex, with women strangers :-)
 
Silky2013 said:
That's exactly what I am talking about but without the consent of my wife !!! I only love her and only have feelings for her but want sex, just sex, with women strangers :-)
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So tell her how you feel.
 
Silky2013 said:
That's exactly what I am talking about but without the consent of my wife !!! I only love her and only have feelings for her but want sex, just sex, with women strangers :-)
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So just so we are clear, you are going to sleep with other women without your wife's knowledge?
 
You don't have to be faithful.

Its perverse to be faithful.

Its not human to be faithful.

If your partner doesn't understand the basic needs of the homo sapien sapien, she can keep going to church, and you can directly fulfill your god-given needs.
 
Ho-Chi-Minh said:
You don't have to be faithful.

Its perverse to be faithful.

Its not human to be faithful.

If your partner doesn't understand the basic needs of the homo sapien sapien, she can keep going to church, and you can directly fulfill your god-given needs.
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I think what's "human" is debatable, especially in this case where someone can simply say "i would like to continue to play around" at the beginning of the relationship. I think what's truly human is finding a companion that shares your interests and fully understands how you want to live your life. The bottom line is that whatever terms your relationship was formed on should always be honored and the minute you feel you cannot honor them, you must tell the other person and amend the terms of the relationship.

Who knows, maybe the OP's wife feels the same way and would also like to play around. It's entirely possible she doesn't want to bring it up for fear of his reaction, could be a win/win for both of them in the end.
 
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'We' don't but it seems like 'you' do - so why are you faithful? Why get into a relationship which has boundaries that you do not agree with?
 
Marriage is about love, caring, communication and SACRIFICE. If you do not conform with these things then you shouldn't be married or see if you can get your partner to have an open relationship/marriage. Cheating on your partner is not only morally wrong but also you are lying to yourself. Do you believe in bad karma? What would you feel if your wife was doing it to you and you have no knowledge of it?

I am not claiming to be perfect but I have always believed in honesty and loyalty.
 
LuGoJ said:
I think what's "human" is debatable, especially in this case where someone can simply say "i would like to continue to play around" at the beginning of the relationship. I think what's truly human is finding a companion that shares your interests and fully understands how you want to live your life. The bottom line is that whatever terms your relationship was formed on should always be honored and the minute you feel you cannot honor them, you must tell the other person and amend the terms of the relationship.

Who knows, maybe the OP's wife feels the same way and would also like to play around. It's entirely possible she doesn't want to bring it up for fear of his reaction, could be a win/win for both of them in the end.
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To clarify, my points were taken from a strictly anthropological standpoint.
 
Silky2013 said:
I only love her and only have feelings for her but want sex, just sex, with women strangers :-)
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So you want to sleep around behind your wives back.

How do you think your wife will feel when she finds out her husband is cheating on her?

Why don't you man up and tell her you want to fuck other women?
 
define "faithful"


i think the question is, "why do some people engage in behaviors and relationships that deep down inside they feel is unnatural?"
 
I used to feel the same way, and I would say all the time that men, anatomically, physiologically-speaking, are just not meant to be monogamous.

It was my belief that, so long as I was up-front and honest with all of my partners, girlfriends and whatever, then everything was all right. It was what separated us, or, rather what separated me from all of the other scumbag, cheating boyfriends.

I remember telling my girlfriend straight-up that I just couldn't be faithful. I couldn't do it; I needed to do my thing, sew my wild oats, and have my fun for a little while. It really upset her, and it really bothered me that I had to break her heart, but I was being honest and so I felt good about that at least. It was my code; honesty was my code. It's not cheating if I'm honest about it and my significant other, girlfriend or whatever chooses to stay with me for some strange, unknown, incomprehensible reason.

But, now, older and wiser (older by 3 years but wiser by 30)... juggling more than one girlfriend at a time is just too much work for me. It's just too much work, man. I have enough trouble dealing with just this one girlfriend...
 
im curious, to those who have expressed an inability to remain faithful or are in favor of natural desire being a primal response; how you feel about your partner feeling and acting upon similar feelings/behaviors once committing themselves to you (in marriage or otherwise)?

...kytnism...:|
 
ad lib said:
So you want to sleep around behind your wives back.

How do you think your wife will feel when she finds out her husband is cheating on her?

Why don't you man up and tell her you want to fuck other women?
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I agree with this + 2
 
There are different reasons for having affairs, or trysts.
I have my reasons, but they have nothing to do with whether I love my wife or not... it's purely a sexual thing.
 
kytnism said:
im curious, to those who have expressed an inability to remain faithful or are in favor of natural desire being a primal response; how you feel about your partner feeling and acting upon similar feelings/behaviors once committing themselves to you (in marriage or otherwise)?

...kytnism...:|
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My wife and I have previous marriages, and we both have extramarital histories; we are aware of this, albeit we don't ask or tell.
If that's her thing, she knows it should stay outside our marriage, as do I.
 
Emotionless cheating is a slippery slope. How do you guarantee that it remains purely sexual? Feelings can develop whether you want them to or not.

Also no one deserves to be put at risk of std's unknowingly. One of the great aspects of being faithful is unprotected sex with 0% risk of catching a venarial disease.
 
We dont HAVE to be faithful. We choose to be depending on the relationship. A good friend of mine is an open relationship and it works fine for both of them. Just dont lie or cheat or do it behind the other person's back. Talk to your spouse about it and see if maybe she feels the same... You never know.
 
Been with my Husband for ten years this month, and we have an amazing sex life, athough my drive is a lot higher then his.
We spice it up a lot, toys, and add ppl to the mix...keeps it fresh ya know?

You should def approach your wife w these thoughts before acting on your cheating intentions..
 
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