The thought of having sex with my SO after she's been fucked by another guy recently repulses me, turns me off. That's how relationships end. I cannot explain it, but I would never get into an open relationship, even though I know for sure that I could get laid with others.
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Why do we have to be faithful ???
- Thread starter Silky2013
- Start date
pofacedhoe
Bluelight Crew
you dont have to be faithful- look at mormons...
Silky2013
Greenlighter
Why be in a relationship if you want to play the field? Kinda one of the big things with being in a relationship.. cant have your cake and eat it too.. unless you are in an open relationship
But what about the excitement ... The spice of life ... You only live once and while I have found my best friend life partner ... Is it so wrong to need alternative experiences ... We are only talking sex not love !!!
idk what will be your feelings upon returning to your "best friend life partner?".. after hitn a little strange.. is it necessary or even worth it?
Maya
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2013
- Messages
- 7,310
Yes sorry to break it to you but I do not know one man that has been faithful to his wife .... It's just life ... Not sure we (both sexes) were designed to be with one partner !!! Best thing is to embrace it and manage it appropriately
That's not true, my mom and dad has been happily married for 32 years and my dad has never cheated on my mom. My boyfriend's parents are married for 35 years and his dad never cheated on his mom. There are still good guys out there.
missmeyet?
Bluelighter
Only if your ok with her doing it too, she's ok with you doing it and the person you are effin around with is ok with the fact that you have someone else.
If not, then that would make the people who do assholes for hurting someone the supposedly love and care for.
EA-1475
Bluelighter
True love is about sacrifice. Being faithful is such a sacrifice. Without that, there is no security.
missmeyet?
Bluelighter
Yes sorry to break it to you but I do not know one man that has been faithful to his wife .... It's just life ... Not sure we (both sexes) were designed to be with one partner !!! Best thing is to embrace it and manage it appropriately
Though I agree that it is very commmon for people to cheat in their marriages if you don't know a single dude who has not cheated then what a bunch of nice people you are surrounded by in your life.
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Silky2013
Greenlighter
Well having looked a few statistic sites ... About 70 percent of married men admitted to cheating on their wives! Another study found that 2/3 of women are not aware of their husband's affair.
What about the women? Most statistics found that about 50 to 60 percent of women admitted to having an affair. This one really shocked me. Are there really millions of cheating women in the states? I never even imagined these statistics.
So may be more common than most women would ever realize !!
What about the women? Most statistics found that about 50 to 60 percent of women admitted to having an affair. This one really shocked me. Are there really millions of cheating women in the states? I never even imagined these statistics.
So may be more common than most women would ever realize !!
You don’t have to be… if that was the agreement you both came to when the relationship was formed.
If someone really wants to mess around then they should tell their spouse that they want to explore with others. If they object then don’t do it and get over it or be a mature adult and end it so you can go have fun. It’s your obligation as a husband/wife to let your spouse make informed decisions about the future of the relationship you share. If you deny them that right through dishonesty then you have relinquished your right to complain or feel hurt by any acts of dishonesty towards you, cheating, draining your bank account, taking custody your children by lying to the court…
If someone really wants to mess around then they should tell their spouse that they want to explore with others. If they object then don’t do it and get over it or be a mature adult and end it so you can go have fun. It’s your obligation as a husband/wife to let your spouse make informed decisions about the future of the relationship you share. If you deny them that right through dishonesty then you have relinquished your right to complain or feel hurt by any acts of dishonesty towards you, cheating, draining your bank account, taking custody your children by lying to the court…
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I think, on a physical basis we form a range of attractions, and it's highly unlikely you'll be satisfied by one person.
On a spiritual level I believe it is possible to clearly differentiate between the love of your life, and other milder attractions. What I'm saying is you've probably killed off the spirituality of your love, with too much focus on physical sex, and now your interest is drawn to other woman.
Kind of tough question! I guess that's why plural marriage(polygyny) was around long ago and muslims do it still. But personally I prefer monogamy. Being closeted is hard enough why it's hard to even marry a person whom I'm not attracted to regardless of our personality level compatibility. Yes I'm Jelly. Friendship can be very rewarding but lovemaking is just with one person in my personal opinion.
Fyfm
Greenlighter
Muslims done it because back in them days when there was war the women were left unable to support themselves and half of the men did not come back. They would marry more then one to support them. It's only these days they will marry for the reason that they just want one more then one women.
Illyria99
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2012
- Messages
- 4,627
I don't believe that. I think you can be in love and still fuck around. It all depends on what your definition of "love" is.
Animal Mother
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2007
- Messages
- 3,411
I kind of agree.
I agree to some extent but the definition of love is something that needs to be disclosed at the very beginning of the relationship, especially if one party subscribes to a definition that is not the generally accepted definition. If both parties have differing definitions of love and come to an agreement and decide to continue then more power to them.
I think it actually goes deeper than ones definition of love. It seems like it has to do with ones definition of human relationships in general. Does one believe that they should hold all the cards and control the relationship through omission or does one believe each party should have an equal say?
Once again, it all comes down to allowing your partner to make informed decisions about the future of their life.
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it's the easiest thing in the world to be faithful because the default is not doing something rather than doing something. inaction rather than action.
the answer to your question is a simple one - you don't have to be faithful but you should (especially if you took a vow to do so).
being in love and in a committed relationship and having sex with women other than your partner need not necessarily be mutually exclusive but the boundaries of a relationship are defined by both partners so if this is something you want to explore, you need to discuss it with your wife. if it's not something she's comfortable exploring, you'll have to find a way to stick to the vow you made or explore other options (divorce, etc.)
related reading:
What constitutes cheating to you?
Sex and dating more than one person at a time.
Define cheating (in your own terms)
Which one do you consider cheating??
alasdair
skittlesxo
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2013
- Messages
- 153
I think you only have to be emotionally faithful. If you have sex with other women with no feelings involved, I do not see how that is cheating. I allow my boyfriend and encourage him to have sex with other women, I am not jealous because i am not insecure..I know he only LOVES me and has FEELINGS for me ONLY.When there is jealousy there is no love.IMO