The reasons I have enjoyed various chemicals in the past as opposed to the present are radically different. In the past I used because:
1. Marijuanna enhanced music, friendship, food, laughter, rebellion
2. The odd rails of coke made me feel happy, energetic, allowed me to be Jane Q. Outlaw with my friends
3. The odd trip with mushrooms or LSD were awesome! It was like opening doors to different parts of my mind and going on adventures that were otherwise closed off.
4. I snorted meth because I loved the extra energy it gave me to do otherwise unwanted projects like housecleaning or otherwise mundane things that bored me to tears.
5. I snorted meth to lose weight. I snorted meth because I loved meeting different people and having conversations that would never have happened had I been sober. I was naturally shy.
6. I snorted meth because it gave me enthusiasm towards parts of my life that were otherwise dull or dreadful.
7. I snorted meth because eventually I became dependent on it. I also had to have it in order to maintain my gorgeous small waist line or else I'd fucking hate myself.
8. I took painkillers because I suffered from excruciating migraine headaches. I took them also because for a while they made me relax and not get upset about shit that would normally piss me off.
9. I took painkillers in order to relax and be free of sexual inhibitions which I could not be rid of while sober.
10. I took painkillers because I fell in love with the buzz they provided. I could also tell my lover what I truly felt about him, as well as other friends and family that no way in hell I could tell when sober.
11. I took painkillers because one day all my meth suppliers went dry. I gained some weight back. I loathed myself and life. I resorted to them in order to make life bearable.
12. I took painkillers because one day I became a full on junkie.
13. Five years later, now only taking painkillers, but 25% of what I had been taking I started taking perscription speed to enable me to stick to a diet and lose weight, which I did. I lost 70 pounds.
14. I snorted meth cause I could have great sex for hours at a time which otherwise would not have been possible sober. Meth also allowed me to be free of rediculous inhibitions I couldn't be rid of sober.
15. The world was making $$$$ off the RX speed and now started charging triple what it used to cost. I had lost the weight I wanted, but wanted to maintain that weight loss. I went to a dealer instead.
16. I snorted meth cause I was having a blast with my new founds thin figure. I loved life, became an exotic dancer by night. I had been a nurse by day. Meth helped me give a marvelous performance as a dancer.
17. I took the odd painkiller to help the odd headache and to come down once in a while.
18. I took meth because I became an addict. Losing job after job, I was finally broke forcing me to cut back. Once I had work, I did meth again.
19. I started slamming meth because I had slammed it 16 years prior to when I slammed it again. I fell in love with the intensity and the rush all over again.
20. I slammed meth because I simply loved how I felt while being high. I couldn't imagine life without it.
21. I slammed meth because I became an addict.
22. Once I became hooked, I almost lost another job. I knew I'd once again be back on the street. Instead of giving it up completely, I decided on a program. 90 days off/7 days on.
23. Slamming meth on a program the last 2 years has worked very well for me. I slam because I love the intense rush and excitement it gives me.
24. I slam meth for the rare opportunity to enjoy and open up with another slammer. (Which is rare.) With the right person, it is beautiful.
25. Now, the #1 reason I slam meth on a schedule every 3 months is because I love where it takes my mind. I am a writer and have sat for hours on end creating all sorts of literature that otherwise would not have been possible sober. Not because meth gives me talent, but because it opens doors in my brain and ideas/scripts literally flood out.
