Salvia for me is like a book. It is a tool I use to gain informations. I can ask it anything. But, it is very frightening to me. I have always loved strange things and "dark" things. i've done many psychedelics in many strange and possibly frightening circumstances. When I was a kid I was watching horror movies and reading horror books. I have always loved the strange and unusual, what others call frightening, gross, or ugly. Whatever is most outside of what is the normal, well-trod pathways of behavior and language (thought and speech) patterns, that is what I love. And I like learning, especially arcane or esoteric informations. Psychedelics and Salvia in particular give me knowledge that everyone would be interested in, because it is completely important and relevant to our lives, but no one knows about it.
So I was naturally drawn to Salvia for the same reason I was drawn to psychedelics in general: curiosity. But I will honestly tell you guys that Salvia is much, much stranger than I can even begin to comprehend. As a lover of the weird, Salvia makes me feel like a wine connoisseur who asked for a glass of wine, and instead of a glass he was thrown into a swimming pool full of wine.
I never thought I would say this about anything, but Salvia is too weird. Just to clarify what I mean, I believe Salvia to be leaps and bounds weirder than mushrooms, which is the second weirdest thing I know. This doesn't mean I won't continue to use it. But it does mean that Salvia requires me to radically alter my world-views and models of understanding the universe. But that is what learning is all about, right? But like with Salvia's weirdness, the force of Salvia's educational properties makes it just a little too much for me to be comfortable with.
But I am trying not to let this deter my use. I am trying to manifest the willpower to keep using it, as I have been off and on since we first crossed paths 5 years ago. I expect this to happen in the next week or two. I will tell you folks that nothing terrifies me like the idea of taking a big Salvia hit.
To try and describe what is so strange and frightening about my Salvia experiences.... the best way I can put it is it's very, very surprising. And it is quite literally a transmission of information, like reading a book. So imagine if you were just sitting there and all of a sudden completely mindblowing information was just showing up in your head. Things that totally change your understanding of reality, yourself, god, etc. all the fundamental things. It is impossible to say "I don't believe that". You are confronted with reality. I think the best short summation of what Salvia does is it makes you hyperaware. You know that idea about psychedelics that you shouldn't take them if you are in denial about something, or intentionally trying not to think about some specific thing, because the psychedelic will force you to face it? Salvia is like that, but not just for things you are in denial about, for EVERYTHING! I found out from Salvia that my mind has the appearance of being very complicated, but within the realm of comprehension--but that in reality, the amount of complexity in my body(/brain/mind/whatever) dwarfs the amount the complexity in my body that I currently understand by an unimaginable margin.
Which reminds me, I personally do not believe in any gods or faeries or ghosts or plant spirits. Salvia is about your own body. I can't emphasize that enough. The plant is just a plant, there are a million plants like it. Mint and sage are common plant families. There is no being that exists in the plant, because, as Shulgin said in PIHKAL about his first mescaline experience, there is no information in the drug molecule. All the molecules are identical in a pile of Salvinorin A or mescaline or LSD, therefore they have no information value, therefore there is no being in the plant, and if there somehow were, he could not teach me anything. The drugs are merely catalysts. Salvinorin A acts as a catalyst for absolutely astonishing processes that, for reasons which completely baffle me, my body has been programmed to carry out. I think it's very important to not have a mystical attitude about the plant (or drug as the case may be). This awe and wonder must be directed where it belongs, at your own body--that miraculous organic supercomputer you're occupying, not to be confused with your own self. The drugs are our catalysts, our keys, and they must be respected, even treasured, but remember that a key is useless without the whole framework consisting of door, doorknob, door frame, wall, lock, hinges, etc.
I want to say, although I don't believe it is a spirit of the plant, I have met a nonhuman, english-speaking being after smoking Salvia. I don't know what the story is with this being. I have a tendency, which I think has to do with my indoctrination and brainwashing by society and culture in my childhood, to say if my body is generating something or something is coming out of my body, to say that thing is not real. The word real is very poorly defined. In fact all of consciousness is generated by the advanced biological computer of your brain. So whether you're awake or dreaming or talking to a hyperintelligent pandimensional deity, I put these things all in the same ontological category, they are all just experiences. Is there really a being? Who knows. All I know is this being has offered me the same evidence for its existence as any human I know, namely I saw it and communicated with it. So I am proceeding on the hypothesis that it is as real as anything else I can repeatably experience. So I guess I could be specific and say feeding the curiosity, love of learning, and the thrill of being a true trailblazer/pathfinder/explorer, is stuff like knowing there's actually a godlike being out there with near infinite knowledge, that it is trying to share it with us. I mean that fact is going to completely change society when it gets out. And it's pretty damn cool to be able to say to those people, 5,000 or 10,000 or a million years in the future, whenever we start paying attention to the psychedelics, guess what I lived in the stone age when psychedelics were illegal and we could barely get to our own moon, and the Salvia being and I were friends. NASA does all these absurd (though I can respect their intention) ways of trying to contact nonhuman language-users like the SETI project, and here anyone can converse with an alien intelligence any time they want in the comfort of their own home, an alien a million times more strange and more intelligent than anything we can imagine in science fiction. Those are reasons why I like it despite the spookiness.
I also want to say that I love Salvia and I trust it. Salvia has helped me and made my life better more than anything else with the possible exception of mushrooms. I have and continue to reap real benefits from my Salvia use. Think about that, and think about how reluctant and scared I am anyway. That is how unsettling it can be. But I think if you go into the experience with respect and an open mind (preferably an extremely open one), and you start with lower doses and work your way up to get comfortable, it's really not any harder than any other psychedelic to use. I attribute all the bad experiences to people taking too high doses because 1 it's legal so they think it's not powerful 2 this whole breaking through idea where people think you either need to take a huge dose and go into the stratosphere or else you didn't "break through" and the whole experience was worthless. The truth is Salvia has a gradually increasing dose-response curve like any other drug. On Erowid all the disaster Salvia reports are from people who took too high a dose.
Sorry this is so long. I spend a lot of time thinking about Salvia.