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Why are women attracted to men who are assholes?

lets put it this way.....
girls are more inclined (by some disgusting fate) to go for the assholes
just as guys are more inclined to go for the sluts
we all grow out of it.... (i hope)
the girls will go for the nice guys
and the guys will go for the pure innocent girls
ive had my fair share of assholes
it just takes time to realize who the assholes are, due to learning from personal experiences
and now i am quite happy with my nice boy :)
 
we all grow out of it.... (i hope)
the girls will go for the nice guys
and the guys will go for the pure innocent girls
ive had my fair share of assholes
it just takes time to realize who the assholes are, due to learning from personal experiences
so, so true...
we do grow out of it. I now not only look for the "nice" guys, but the guys who are truly nice because that is who they are, not because they want to be selectively "nice".
I have no time for assholes anymore, after knowing a great deal of them.
 
There are two different types of "nice guys." One is the passive nice guy who sits on the sidelines and wishes he was with someone he isn't, and then there is the aggressive nice guy. This is the "ideal" nice guy I guess...who has all of the qualities of the passive nice guy but stands his ground, and goes after what he wants. The aggressive nice guy is still nothing like an asshole...so no...nice guys do not ALWAYS lose in the end.
 
I hate seeing threads like these because they piss me off every time. A whiny ass boy complaining about how they're nice and girls don't like them, boo hoo
i get pissed because that's total bullshit. nice guys are awesome. nice guys are fun.
but they better be hot, too, or i probably won't be interested in them, initially.
it is my theory that girls believe that they can *change* their asshole. *tame* their wild stallion. i've known girls like this..
it doesn't make sense but that is how it is. girls like to be treated as an object of desire, and if a guy treats her with the utmost respect blah blah that is BORING.
girls are taught to go for the strong assertive male, not the weak mama's boy who wants to go to poetry night. (no offense to poetry night fans)
i would never date the asshole you speak of. i find some arrogance sexy, but it's not the arrogance that stems from assholishness, but confidence. confidence is sexy. that's what guys like in girls, and it's what girls like in guys. it just comes across differently, imo.
 
Nice guys don't finish last, fat ugly (and sometimes) poor guys do. Duh.
When girls say they want a nice guy, the unspoken adjective is hot. They are speaking from experience. It's important to realize that when a girl says "guy" in the context of "wanting one", it implicitly means an attractive guy one she'd normally date - they don't just want niceness in isolation. I'm sure excitement factors in there too, but if you're hot enough, that's pretty damn exciting!
If you're a "nice guy" and your girl left you for an "asshole", I'll be a rich man at the end of the day if I can bet which guy is more attractive in all these cases. If a girl truly doesn't want a hot nice guy, it's because she doesn't want/isn't ready for a relationship, but she still "wants" a hot guy.
So what's a fat ugly guy to do? Either take steps to become leaner and more attractive (if possible) or get used to the idea of fat ugly girls.
- obligatory self disclosure -
That said, I'm probably 25 lbs overweight although not terribly ugly, and I have absolutely no fashion sense unless I'm in a suit. Unless I play the "relationship card", hot girls want nothing to do with me. Even when I'm in relationships, I'm exactly like Chemical Dan - I become bored (and actually so does she) and it's a 2 or 3 weeker.
Even if you dislike/disagree with the state of nature, it's still the state of nature.
[ 02 June 2002: Message edited by: The Word ]
 
When i was a nice guy i was fairly assertive and passionate and attractive to boot.
Still didn't work as well as when i was a huge shithead to absolutely everyone. Seems as though people in general (not just women) like you a lot more and want to fuck you more when you act as if you could care less whether or not they live or die.
Just an observation, I'm not bitching, I'm just saying that over my experimentation with being a nice guy it just got me hurt in the end.
-Z
 
You know what hasn't been mentioned yet?
Charisma!
When it comes to attracting women, a man's charisma is more important than looks or attitude.
 
very true about the arrogant and confident guy.
For example:
Confident male would go up to a prospective female and talk to her by saying, "hi how are you this day/evening."
While the arrogant male would simply brag about this and that in order to make up for something lacking.
Wow.. This kinda turned into a war. Who says nice guys can't start a war hehehe.
 
Nah, man, this is not a war. We are just having a vigorous discussion. And isn't this flavor of thread better than if your original post had been followed with six or seven "don't worry, sweetie, you'll find your soulmate in due time" replies? I assumed you wanted answers, not sympathy. Your thread will probably accumuate 60+ replies that are all reacting to something that has been said, so it is all good.
 
I hate to tell you all this, but your wrong. ;)
It's nothing to do with the whole Nice Guy Vs. Ass-Hole. It has to do with being attractive and being unnatractive.
Attractive males usually fall into the ass-hole catagory because people in their lives hold them up on a pedastal. They are held up in high regard because they are handsome, and for no other reason. This starts at a very early age. They develope certain amounts of confidence (which usually developes into arrogance) and are normally very gregarious. They have these qualities because everyone loves a pretty kid, and everyone talks to them. Humans feel safe and secure around beautiful people.They become ass-holes over time due to the inflated ego's and head's they develope.
On the other hand, unnatractive children (Be they just plain ugly or fat) are raised completely different. They are raised to believe that things like personality are actually important in relationships. They are raised being told that they are "special" and "precious". A lot of these guys work their entire lives learning or trying to be funny (though I'm beginning to wonder if comedy is a genetic trait in ugly/fat people). These are the kids that develope the kind of personality traits that all women want in their men... or at least their handsome men.
Now people are going to flame me and tell me that I am generalizing. And I am. These statements apply to the general public... but when your talking about millions of people, your hittin the head right on the nail.
But to answer the original Q,... yes, nice guys do finish last.
"I know plenty of funny fat guys that aren't getting laid."
--Rob Schneider
 
well my boyfriend is a nice guy, but he is also attractive, assertive, and confident. and hes been getting laid just about every day for the last 3 1/2 years. i myself am attractive, assertive, and confident and wouldn't bother with an asshole that disrespected me. confidence and charisma are major turn-ons. confidence you can work on, but attractiveness and charisma im not sure?
 
well i think i'm rather good looking, no brad pitt but then again who is? and i know that i can get with plenty of chicks, cause i've been with quite a few.
but thats all as in short term/one nite stands, cause they never mattered to me.
however, i always thought it should be different when u really like someone.
Why i'm so bitter about all this is simply because for once in my life I opened up to a woman completly. let her know everything about me, both good and bad, and yeah i was scared to make my moves cause all of a sudden it actually mattered to me how she'd react. (She did like me, but not enough obviously).
I know i could have been with her had I been my oldself with her [she told me (complicated)].
like you guys said, just be assertive---and being assertive will be the easiest if you dont let yourself care too much.
for once i was completly honest with a woman, played no games at all and it backfired.
So its back to being my old self, who just doesn't allow himself to care enough to get hurt.
unfortunatly that will lead to me telling the girls what they wanna hear until i get laid, and when i get bored they will be dumped. (its not a devious as it may sound)
And 2 weeks later i will hear all her female friends talkin about what an "asshole" I am.
and the one that talks the loudest is usually the next one to sleep with me.
 
by the way i dont think that in our discussion the word asshole stands for some wife beating, cheating dickhead.
its just the term used by women to describe a guy who's plays them a little. he gets less attached and doesn't think twice to dump them for another.
However, thats not to say that this same guy, when he does come across a nice chick, can't be nice and good to her, but that usually develops with time.
I keep writing these posts, cause i'm not sure if people are getting what i mean when i say nice guy vs. asshole.
 
Wake up and smell the bullshit people!
We live under a economic (and political) system that perpetuates competition, greed, accumilation (subordinated to human needs). It would be naive of us to think that this sort of economic system would not affect our (inter)social relations. Society is a reflection of the people that partake in it. People are brought up to be competitive, greedy, and act out of self-intrest.
And hence dear "nice guy", you finish last because you do not hold these (socialy acceptable) qualities of competition, greed, self-interest close to your heart? Am I right?
Would you rather see your love interest be happy with someone else? Or unhappy with you?
Would you give your heart to your girl and let her hold on to it for ever and ever? If only she showed you one bit of love?
Is she the only one you could ever love?
Players are people who have enbraced the qualities offered by the system. Did I say embrace? Who the fuck am I kidding.. they have whole heartedly consumed the qualities of self-intreest, greed, and competition, off the silver plater that was handed to them.
Fuck it. I don't want to eat off the same dirty plater.
:)
just my -2 cents, this is not gospel, take it or leave it
:)
:)
 
No matter how I try to be nice to every single person,it never pays off.I dont even want to be rewarded for my efforts,I just want them noticed.
Even my friends do it,I might begin a sentence and one of at least three of my friends will talk over me without a second thought.
I wouldnt mind but they do it ALL THE TIME!
Anyway,it seems the person your after allways settles with the one who treats them like shit.
It doesnt make sense!
 
yeah the nice guy always loses. I am going to lose my best friend here soon and someone whom I am caring for more and more everyday and I know it's going to happen but can do nothing to stop it. It's one of those things that happen but we appreciate the time we get to spend together, and that is all I can ask for. when she is gone I will be crushed but at least I know it before hand. :(
 
^^^^^^^ SEE you nice guys are weak
it's all about the confidence
being nice, or looking good has little to do with who gets the girls.
I know more than a few unattractive guys that get laid a lot because they portray a lot of confidence, they approach every hot girl they see and usually succeed in getting into their panties. Then they leave them for the next pretty thing in a skirt that walks by.
these guys are assholes
I also know plenty of attractive men, that are smart and nice but don't seem to have that much confidence. these guys might get laid occasionally, but it usually doesn't last that long cause the guy becomes insecure.
these guys are nice
I also know plenty of nice, attractive, smart, confident men that get laid...whenever they want.
these guys are mine
 
Who really gives a shit if nice guys finish last or assholes gets the girls, as long as you are happy with who you are and realise that there are girls that will be willing to go out with you, thats all that matters. So dun change stuff and act like an asshole play mind games or watever, its all about being yurself, treating people with respect and going for girls that are actually similar to you.
So all this talk is a bunch of bullshit, in my opinion guys that like arseholes are not worth the time of day anyway.
 
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