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where are the SINGLE and DECENT men?

Originally posted by alasdairm
they are where things always are when you can't find them - right in front of your face


thats just what i was gonna say. damn you for beating me to it ;)
 
It's not easy to find a person of the opposite/same sex who you feel is decent. You won't "just find" them. It takes work, hard work. It's a full time job. You have to be on the lookout at all times. Talk to interesting people and even the ones you might normally discount as no good because of the look they have. Get off the couch and look! Internet, bars, malls, grocery stores, whatever just get up and look. If you find it's not working relocate. We are out there just look!

Bye the way, I am single and decent! Find me on Yahoo as pink_punker01

;)
 
^^ well hello to you too mr rise! ;)

aww man i really hate that 40 day and night thread, it's driving me crazy and making me be even more flirty then i normally am :(

lol
 
"where are the SINGLE and DECENT men?"

"you take any cross-segment of the population and you're only gonna have a few winners and a WHOLE LOT of losers" - george carlin

seems that most women say they want a nice guy- but then why do nice guys lose? decent guys end up dating the insane/aggressive women that force them to retreat from dating for long periods of time. if they don't get at least some glimmer of hope that there is something good from the female population they either change teams or stop being a decent man, or become a monk.

my friend lise offered this piece of advice (it's how she claims she found her husband): "the decent guys don't go out to clubs, when all the bad boys are out at the club the decent guy is at Subway getting a snack after the movie... i found mine at subway." he is one of the coolest guys i know, she found a good one.
 
i think that women must have been saying this same thing for all of time....

Generally, the guys that approach you out of the blue are going to more confident of course, and perhaps more cocky as well.

The guys that don't approach are going to be one of two types.

1) shy about approaching. I don't think girls get how approaching a woman can be such a heart wrenching experience at times. "what do i say?" Ok, i'll say "hello" but after that? I'm a great talker, I mean, not to toot my own horn (if i could, I'd never leave the house), but i'm funny, smart, etc., but damn if that initial approach still doesn't kill me sometimes. women like confidence, yeah. a lot of men are confident in everything else, except that one area.

2) indifferent. i'm like this most times. sometimes I just really don't care about going up to girls. it's like a friend asking you if you want to watch a certain movie and you say "eh, sure why not". ironically, i find that this mindset is much more affective at attracting women. it's like, "i'm so sure of myself that i know i don't need to go up to a woman." don't know if anyone will understand what i'm saying. it's not thinking "I'm all that" . when i'm talking with a girl, i'm totally myself. acting they same way around her as i do all my other friends. i'm just not generally concerned with "getting" the girl to like me. not cocky. understand? i guess..."i'm not the best looking, but i know i'm pretty damn good looking (if you like pretty faces that is. can't pull of tough guy at all). i'm not the funniest, but i know i'm pretty damn funny. i'm not the smartest, but i'm pretty damn smart. i'm not the richest, but i know i make much more than most." so it's like, I know what i got, i know i'm a good catch. i don't need to chase a woman. they come to me. and a lot of times they do. AND it's really not important for me to be with a woman. i don't need one to survive. to me...that's confidence. so those guys aren't going to come up to you. You gotta impress me, is all i'm saying... but seeing a 5'8" with chocolate brown long hair and fair skin with the look of audrey hepburn/winnona ryder/natalie portman/ etc. (small features, cute more so than hot) fucks that all up and then i completely forget everything and feel like i'm 15 again struggling to just say hi!

also, as someone else said. it's fucking work to find someone. any girl that i've dated has been one that i just happened to meet somewhere, but generally, you gotta work at it. Let's see, in the past 10 years, 29 now, i've had 8-9 girlfriends. However, had I been more persitent about it, I probably could have dated more girls. Persitent how, you ask? You ain't going to meet someone sitting at home, first of all. Well, I guess you could on the internet, but that ain't my thing (yeah my grammar is bad here, i say "ain't" for effect lest anyone give me shit about it). Go to places where the types of guys you want to date are. If you want an intelligent professional, artsy type, whatever, you aren't going to find him at Opium on South Beach at 3am Sunday morning or China club 1am monday night, or Twilo, soundfactory limelight, or whatever those new york clubs are called (don't live there anymore). Girls go out to clubs and forget that lots and lots of hyper aggressive guys that are interested in fucking you in the bathroom are out at these places. i'm not saying that that guys like myself don't go out at the same times. I went to these places at crazy hours, but my type was few and far between.

and when you're out...do something about meeting a guy. don't just sit there!! Shit!! All you girls know how to flirt, so send out the signals to the guy you want to come over. Motion for him to come over. Big problem of mine. Again, as stated before, i put out some serious amounts of chi (yes, that's reference to chi of internal/cosmic/spritual engery otherwise known as mojo) sometimes and i just know that some girl is or girls are checking me hard. i so often don't do anything b/c i'm either 1) still shy about the approach and 2) so indifferent that i really don't care to go up to her/them. i think i would have met a lot more nice girls had i been a touch more aggressive. same with you girl types. be a little bit less passive. if you see a guy you like, wherever its at, go up to him.

Another thing...dress for the type of guy you want to attract. dress like a slut (which is cool by me) and odds are that you get guys that want a slut. "But Inspector, I can where whatever the hell I want." Yes you can my little students, but you asked me how to meet decent guys and I'm telling you if you wear one of those hot, hot, hot shirts with just the piece of cloth in the front (god, i love the skin that shows with these things... something about the feel of a women's skin on the outside of her lower back. what the hell is that made of!!!) and short skirt with black strapy shoes...you get my point hopefully young jedi!

further lessons available upon request.
 
damn this guy is the "mack daddy"
haha

btw i'm single and decent but that's just because i'm young and you women haven't had a chance to corrupt me with your sexual wiles.
 
Good post, inspector.

Decent men are not going to be as outwardly aggressive as guys looking to get laid point blank. That is a good thing. However, it requires a savvy woman to be a little pro-active in warming up a potential man. The male role in initiating contact is a pretty loaded one, especially in bar/club scenes. It is a drag to have the assumption made that because we initiated a conversation, that we are desperately trying to get in a woman's pants. For casual conversation, it does pass through a guy's mind that the price we might pay for small talk is an assumption that doesn't do us justice. There are a lot of women out there that like to think that a basic communication amounts to a proposition or proposal; it's those that make it hard for women and men to get to know each other in public places.

And then there is of course the potential of rejection. The paradox is that the more attractive a woman is, the more we might want to approach her; yet the more attractive she is, the higher the chance we might receive rejection at their hands. Therefore, without any positive cues from the woman, there is all the reason in the world to hesitate.

I think the best thing a woman can do to increase her odds of bumping into a solid guy is to initiate more contact to break the ice. Be the disarmer. She'll know the response to expect from someone with potential. Casual, not too interested, but not indifferent. And if you want to hit up bars, hit them up between 5 and 8 on a weekend, when 9-5'ers go to get a couple beers after work.
 
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