Rio Fantastic
Bluelighter
how are YOU, ash?
-
H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist
When will I feel normal
- Thread starter yubacity
- Start date
how are YOU, ash?
Thanks so much ash and I'm going boxing tomorrow.How are you ash hope your doing well.
That was a good podcast hated the guy when I first saw him on vice.Thought the skinny guy proberly knows nothing about drugs but that was first impression since then think he knows his stuff.Have you seen the vice episode where he goes to eastern Europe on a heroin holiday.
Listen to the Joe Rogan podcast with Joey Diaz in it so fucking funny.
Hello Rio
Hi Rio,sorry I must have missed this one, I am a pain management patient with chronic pain and I am legally prescribed opiates for chronic pain due to Degenerative Disc Disease, herniated discs and fusions. I took my medication as prescribed. Having said all that, I stopped my meds on my own because I was sick of all the hassle and hoops I had to go through to get my pain meds. And although I have no addiction issues the physical wd when I stopped was no joke .But I am still in pain so hopefully I can find another way to manage it. If not, I'm not going to be a hero.I am fine today, couldn't sleep at all last night though because it's so hot here, and to be honest I find all the emotions that have come back since stopping are a lot. I guess we don't realize what we're missing when we're on these types of drugs. Numbs everything, even our emotions.How are YOU today Rio? ; )Hugs,Ash.
Hi Rio,sorry I must have missed this one, I am a pain management patient with chronic pain and I am legally prescribed opiates for chronic pain due to Degenerative Disc Disease, herniated discs and fusions. I took my medication as prescribed. Having said all that, I stopped my meds on my own because I was sick of all the hassle and hoops I had to go through to get my pain meds. And although I have no addiction issues the physical wd when I stopped was no joke .But I am still in pain so hopefully I can find another way to manage it. If not, I'm not going to be a hero.I am fine today, couldn't sleep at all last night though because it's so hot here, and to be honest I find all the emotions that have come back since stopping are a lot. I guess we don't realize what we're missing when we're on these types of drugs. Numbs everything, even our emotions.How are YOU today Rio? ; )Hugs,Ash.
Last edited:
Hello my dear friend!!!How was boxing today???? Proud of you!!!Hugs,your friend,Ash.
How you doing ash hope all is well.Im sorry I took so long to reply.Wife and kids leaving for the states Thursday so really busy.Tell you the truth I walking around with lump in throat.My wife and kids are my life.I was talking here in a bad time about having a affair.But now wife is leaving I could never do that again.This women has stuck by me through everything she is my rock.It sounds corny but I'll never get a women like her again.Have had a offer on my house cars are on sale.My life in UK is coming to a end will miss this country.Big test now ash a couple of months on my own will have to stay strong no drugs.
Hi Yuba,
it's lovely to see you apreciatiing your family like that, they will always be there for you and they will always want the best for you.
I know it's difficult with them leaving but you just dig into boxing or come here and post more or whatever. Drugs aren't an option for you anymore, you don't need them, you're stronger and better off in every way without them. Plus you never want to start from day 1 again right??!!.
You know i'm always here for you, pm me if you ever need to,
very proud of you Yuba, you've been through so much but you're on your way!! You got this!!
Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.
it's lovely to see you apreciatiing your family like that, they will always be there for you and they will always want the best for you.
I know it's difficult with them leaving but you just dig into boxing or come here and post more or whatever. Drugs aren't an option for you anymore, you don't need them, you're stronger and better off in every way without them. Plus you never want to start from day 1 again right??!!.
You know i'm always here for you, pm me if you ever need to,
very proud of you Yuba, you've been through so much but you're on your way!! You got this!!
Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.
Thanks ash your words always help.Drugs are not a option I can't use them recreationly.Each time I relapsed it put me back nothing major just fatigue and depression.My wife bless her is trying to keep it together but she is worried that I might use after she goes.Im getting in shape now mind is healing slowly but I'll get there.How are you ash how is life treating you
Good for you Yuba, you're awesome!! You'll be just fine. I have been holding it together, I don't know, all the emotions are a lot for me to deal with, you know? But each day gets better and going back to day 1 is not an option, I just have to find a way to better manage my pain.
Hugs,
Ash.
Hugs,
Ash.
It must be so hard for you ash don't know how you do it but keep doing it.The unfortunate thing for you is the pain issues.Have you discussed with your doctor any other pain meds not opiate based.If opiates were not so fucking addictive they be a wonder drug for pain.Like you said going back to day one not a option for us keep strong my friend.
Hello my dear friend,
How are you doing today? I have an appt with Dr today so maybe he can help. I hope you have a great day Yuba, you're amazing!!! How's the boxing coming along?
xo,
Ash.
How are you doing today? I have an appt with Dr today so maybe he can help. I hope you have a great day Yuba, you're amazing!!! How's the boxing coming along?
xo,
Ash.
Back from the doctor again. Turns out my kidney infection never cleared up, that's why I 've been feeling so off lately. So now I'm on a much longer 2nd round of abx. Whatever, now I know what's wrong.
How was your day my dear friend??
Hugs,
Ash.
How was your day my dear friend??
Hugs,
Ash.
Rio Fantastic
Bluelighter
Isn't it a relief though to find a physical malady to explain feeling shitty?? when I have something to explain malaise then I feel relieved that it can be dealt with, when I feel shitty for no apparent reason I find it much more disconcerting since then you have no idea when & even if you will ever feel better.
Rio Fantastic
Bluelighter
Are you still clean, yuba? How many days is it now? Has the wife & kids gone away yet?
I answered you before Rio, maybe you missed it? How are you doing today?
Ash.
Yes it is Rio, I wasn't my usual happy self, really dragging and forcing myself to do things. It is a relief.
Hugs,
Ash.
Ash.
Yes it is Rio, I wasn't my usual happy self, really dragging and forcing myself to do things. It is a relief.
Hugs,
Ash.
Last edited by a moderator:
Rio Fantastic
Bluelighter
ahh my bad, I did miss that post! I'm wonderful. I love SMART recovery ,feels like it was the missing piece of the puzzle all this time. cant recommend it enough. the fact that you have severe spinal injuries and yet are still boundlessly optimistic and caring is really impressive and a testament to your character, ash.
How you doing ash hope your feeling better.Its good the doctors f8gured out what's wrong now they can give you some meds to clear it up.My fam8ly yesterday left for the states.I came home and was craving so bad I was heartbroken about not seeing family for months.Went to buy some weed and he had valium brought some of them as well. I came home made a hash cake smoked some weed and took a few valium.Must have fallen asleep I have a low tolerance to benzos.Woke up this morning by phone call from wife to say they landed followed by hav8ng to talk to her mom and dad while being foggy headed that was not fun.Dangerous times for me ash I'm feeling down.Got to be strong and ride this out.Got a offer on house gonna take it will let me buy n8ce house in states with a nice bit of change left over.The house prices her are mad because I only live a 40 min car journey to London the prices are high.Thank fuck I could function as a addict will thank that prick of a father for giving me a work ethic.In my mind now I'm craving a good hit of crack and some brown don't know but after last crack session I crave a hit of crack never was a big crack fan think I'm just craving a rush of happiness.my wife game me 2000 pounds back yesterday at airport she was worried she might have to much cash on her and have to declare it in the states as she lands.That has been on my mind to have a session on it.Normally lying in bed now with my wife hugging me but I left here alone with me looking at a empty space where she kept her make up in the lounge kids toys house is empty I'm bored down and want to use.Be well my friend keep strong.
How you doing mate hope you getting better.Ive tried to reply to you 3 times but every time I press send reply the post disasters.Im not to good mate family left yesterday.I am feeling down and upset.Im still clean but don't know how today will end.I got two choices Go get a shitload of gear and just get fucked or get some lamb chops and make a Punjabi curry call my cousin and his family down have kids back in house for a few hours.Im missing my wife and kids like crazy some much it does actually feel like I've been punched in stomach.I so fucking down mate they used to go back to the states for a couple of weeks all the time but then I used to be happy I could use wherever I wanted.I have been clean since start of Feb but have relapsed a few times.Keep good mate and keep strong.
Rio Fantastic
Bluelighter
Every day is getting a little easier, man. Don't let yourself down again,yuba. In rehab I I learned about "Playing the tape forward" - don't just think about the high, think about how shitty you will feel afterwards, the cravings you'll have that you'll probably give in to again, think about how much worse everything is when you use.