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When parents get suss....

Just dont mention the word rave. You've been clubbin, bar hoppin, or just at a friends party. If the latter, then u slept there, if not then u slept on the train or drive back. As soon as u get home go straight to sleep, and tell 'em ur too tired and u will talk later. Just dont say ur too scattered. If u get asked about raves just put on a blank expression and say, "a rave? Whats a rave? Ohhh... A RAVE! Yeah.. i heard about them on a current affair once... damn scary..."
 
im in the very fortunate position of having 2 very open minded and understanding parents.. infact so open minded in that my mother actually wants to experiment (ie drop just 2 c) just to know what im talking about ... they were pretty happy 2 accept information from erowid on amphetamines, lsd and such and were pleased i was trying to educate them rather than hide things from them....
funny story after enchanted forrest in adelaide i'd come home n needed to get a change of clothes.. my mom decided to speak to me for awhile and a pill i'd had a while before decided to kick and i was peaking and rolling my eyes back into my head n talking extraordinairly fast... despite my state she felt it was a learning experience for her because she'd since what its like when someones peaking (yes she used that word..scary stuff)... i dont have this problem in my apartment in melb as sundays are generally a parent free day
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i cant really add useful tips here because of the kind of people my parents actually are.. they know im a fairly responsible (i was probably more reponsible before i knew 5 different ways to take amphetamines) and are happy as long as i keep them posted with my life... but just blatently tell your parents.. i mean your old enough to make your own decisions so its up to them to deal with them as well
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depends if your parents are suicidle i want 2 kick you out of the house after tho
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when my parents asked me "are you doing drugs?" i sid "yep". and that was the end of that. tight laced family, church and the whole moral lot, but after a couple of weeks of them not seeing me go off the deep end, and robbing little old ladies, they came to accept the fact that it was recreational only, and that it didn't interfere with my normal life. besides, if they were going to find out, i owe them enough respect that they heard it from me.
oh, and there was that one time when i was coming down, and trying to watch tv, and the old man and i start talking, and i started telling him about all the drugs i knew of, and what their effect are, and their addictivness, etc, etc. scary.
 
SupaspeeD - can I ask why truth is not an option?
I think it's easier to just tell them what's going on - the truth is never going to be as bad as what their imagination can come up with. Plus they will be able to see that you are still a sane person (most of the time...) even though you do drugs so it might take away some of the 'mystery' & stereo type beliefs that surround drugs ie. if you do drugs you live in the gutter and will probably die of an overdose or AIDS.
If my Mum asks what I do I tell her - fair enough my parents live in UK so can't hassle me too much, but that can almost make it worse as they don't see me so they worry a lot. Mum actually asked me what drugs I take at these rave things and I said E & Speed. She just said, well I'm glad you're not dead and the conversation moved on. I assured her I'm not stupid and I don't take it to the extreme (too much he he..).
At least she knows she can talk about it with me and I'm not going to keep things from her so she knows what is going on.
He he - got my Mum stoned for the first time in her life last night (she's over here for a month) - LOL's don't think conversation has ever flowed so freely between us :-)
I will always recommend the honesty policy.
(Unless of course you're not independant yet and you're parents will throw you out of the house and you will have no where to go and then become stereo typical drug person and live in aforesaid gutter etc etc etc... then maybe don't go with the honesty policy - but then again if you going to make your own decisions about this kind of stuff then you should be willing to stick by your own judgement whatever that involves....if you're going to depend on your parents then you need to also respect their views and the fact that you live in their house.....sorry - have my own mini debate happening here....)
Good Luck!
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STOMPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
 
even though i live out of home now I still find it kind of weird that my parents have never asked me if I take drugs when I go to raves, especially when they have seen some of the pathetic articles/reports on the news etc. I think it is because they see someone on drugs as like some of u said- a person who is in the gutter just about because they spend all their money on drugs and they also believe that someone who takes drugs can in no way live a normal life.
The ask me sometimes when I'm talking to them the night after i've been to a rave "have u had any sleep yet?" and when i say "no", all I get is a line like "well make sure u get some sleep tonight so u don't get sleep deprivation"
anyway back to 'uni work' for me
 
Hmmmm....now that you mention it they've never asked me either. How odd. I guess they just think I'm a good boy or something.
*grin*
Actually I haven't lived at home for ages so they don't know how often I go out...
[This message has been edited by mort (edited 06 March 2001).]
 
Thanks guys for all your opinions and suggestions.
The situation is this. I don't know the possible reaction i would receive if the truth came out, and quite frankly, i can't afford to be booted out of home. Although i'm not sure this would happen, i figure why rock the boat?
I do party straight sometimes, it's good for your sanity, but when you come home a scattered mess, red flags start to pop up. Parent's aren't stupid, not everything goes un-noticed.
So i guess i'm just cautious for now, and maybe i can reveal all when i move out. But the truth now is a risk i can't take. I don't even know what they suspect, they may think i smoke a little pot or drink/drive and not even suspect i was candyflippin, or picking shrooms when out, or whatever. I could be digging a very deep hole.
Hmmm, i'm still a bit stuck, but i think silence may be golden here.
 
You could just come down to Melbourne and go to our dodgy commercial clubs... Then you can tell your parents you're not tired 'cos you're excited from all the lovely girls in short skirts who kept rubbing themselves all over you and trying to buy you drinks...
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I love it how I tell my mum that I take drugs and I want to talk to her about it and her reaction I think is to pretend if she doesn't acknowledge it, its not happening. I actually sit there and say "Mum I take drugs and I like them" and she just continues on with the housework...
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so that WAS u at heat last weekend Tarsalan
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My friend told me that she saw u there dancing in that cage with all the lesbian chix rubbing up against ya!
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Believe me tarsy that happens, at any club i go to, heat or no heat
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. hehe
Well, coming home and not being a scattered lump of serotonin depleted goo, might help the situation. Maybe i'll start dropping at 6pm, so it's all over by 5am
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Yeah i honestly don't know. The truth will come out one day, i usually am very honest with these sorts of things. But when it comes to drugs, and perhaps to an equal footing, sex, parents don't want to know about it.
They all want virginal straight laced kiddies, getting 7s at uni and always home before 10. Gah, i'm SOOOO close!
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hmmm.. i seem to have taken the opposite stance to the honesty policy - I seem to deny everything, to the point where I sound ridiculous. I can't help it I swear... any mention of drugs, and I go into automatic mode and just start saying no to everything - and they ask me nearly every time I go out. Of course, this just makes them more suspicious, and makes the inevitable finding out worse...
I think I could justify my actions if they ever accidently found out - but I don't think it would achieve anything by me just telling my parents about everything I do.
[This message has been edited by Daffy (edited 08 March 2001).]
 
I'm sure parents are pretty good at guessing what is going on. My parents know, even though it has never been discussed and I dont live at home (and moved out well b4 going out all night).
Mum even made me an orange pair of shorts with large smiley faces on the butt for the SSU smartie party! hmmm
 
ah.. my parents always give me the silent treatment everytime i go and come back from parties.. i usually lock myself up in my room after nite outs anyway, sleeping or not.
as for the 'do you take drugs?' question, my friend answered his mom, "if i say i don't you won't believe me, if i say i do, what if that's true and what if it isn't? my answer will not affect what you want choose to believe", and that changed the way his mom thinks.
hmm now when am i going to gather up the courage to say that?
 
seriously,,
tell them nothing.. if they are about my parent's age 60-65.. I did after a 2nights out 2 days off 2 much coke speed and mdma I was still not rite.. I just told her... YES and 3 days later I was in a counsellors office (ironic thing she was so stressed she was put on xanax, I used to pop them when I was coming down).. she has her suspicions about me now, but FUCK.. even my counsellor told me 1 e a month wouldn't hurt me
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anyhow, she has been quizzing me lately, and I just say no.. I say some people go for the music, and some people go for the drugs.. u've seen how long I spend in the spare room mixing records, what do U think I go for?!.. however.. wonder if she has thought about going for the music AND the drugs
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fuck.. anyhow, she says I would betray her trust if I took drugs again, she swears it will lead to smack.... I just say bollocks to that, but drugs for recreation in our society are not accepted by older generations. I think its bad form when they are allowed to get pissed 4 nights a week, and I'm not allowed to have a point of meth and a coupla pills a month...
if anyone just read that soapboxrantandrave good luck,, I just typed my train of thought out...
Cya..
Synth
 
I have no body clock, I haven't for longer than I can remember, so it's never a drama for me. I'm usually still up in the morning when my folks get up for work or weekends
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Personally I don't like the 'lieing about where you're going' idea. Something is bound to go wrong one day. Like my friend who does it... he parked in a street that had 5 cars broken into on it during the night... imagine if his (his parents) car was also. Or if his folks call for some reason. Or he smacks his head by falling down stairs and has to be picked up from some hospital thats miles from where he is 'supposed' to be. Anyway the list could be endless... I don't like that technique. I always use as much honesty as possible, without discussing things my ma and pa don't want to discuss.
I'm pretty sure they know i pill and take amphetamines... but every time I bring it up, ma changes the subject. *shrug* I'd love to talk to them about it... but oh well, she don't want to so I won't make her. May have something to do with the fact that I never looked fuct up when I come home... like I used when I took acid etc.
But I think if your ma is asking those sorts of questions Supaspeed, she probably is already pretty sure that you're on drugs. Depends on the ma, but most aren't as clueless as you'd think... I guess it depends what she wants to believe.
I'll generally tell ma and pa as much as they'll listen to... but they just don't wanna know
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We're a semi English family, so I always (at least the past year anyway) have a cup o' tea when I get home and sit and babble about the night... all issues are covered except drug use
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If it's really not an option, I'd go with the "had a sleep at Harry's cos I didn't want to drive home so tired" story. Explains why you're not completely buggered to be still up at 10am.
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"Excuse me sir, but can you direct me to the location of where I can locate some eggs, for I would like to purchase them so that I can take them home with me and I can eat them today. And maybe tommorrow" - Mojo Jojo
 
Gotta say honesty is by far the best policy. Depends on your folks but unless it's going to make them drive off a cliff or something, you should gently ease them into the knowledge that you enjoy using amphetamines on a recreational basis. No need to go into gory details but don't lie. Somehow, try & make them feel like they have open communication with you. I think it's pretty hard for parents when they feel they can't ask their kids what they are up to and get an honest answer. At least if you're honest, and they come up to you with some concerns, you know they will be valid concerns based on the truth about your drug taking, not their speculation on what you might or might not be doing.
I've always been open & honest with my folks, in the beginning it was a bit hard sure, probably harder than hiding it from them but I'm glad i've been honest from the start now. If I need to come home & get a bit of sleep, grab some clothes etc etc, I don't have to worry too much about coming home looking (& smelling) like shit. They know where I've been, what I've been up to, the worst I can expect is a "take more care of yourself" frown, and that's about it.
Good luck bro
 
I have the unfortunate luck of having a rather straight-laced father who is also a pharmaceutical chemist, and thus a pretty good knowledge of just about everything. However I would say I'm a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic due to an inane request on my part for my mother to 'Please rub my shoulders..they're reaaaaalllyy sore......aaaaaaahhh.... that's better, thank yooooooo!'
After that I had no choice but to be honest, and got the spiel; 'as long as yr under the roof of my house you'll abide by my rules.' The main point I made was the fact that as long as hold down my job, get reasonable marks at uni and hold a decent conversation, then in my spare time I will do as I please. After that it became a case of 'don't ask, don't tell'. At times I have been able to have really good objective talks with my Dad about ingredients and dosage, but because you are always their kids, it's best not to get personal about what exactly you are taking/have taken. You've grown up with them and should know what approach is going to be the less traumatic for everyone. But sometimes you just have to be honest if like me, you're going to get caught 'cause yr an idiot. When you move out (and from Perth to Melbourne!)you have tend not to have that limit of 'I have to go home at some point and face the Olds', so in a way living with them can teach yr moderation in a roundabout way. Now my behaviour is ridiculously debaucherous... I miss the Olds!
 
You might actually be surprised how much parents know!!
My dad is so straight laced and is so ignorant at the best of times. Actually I think he's just plain clueless!
My mum however, a different kettle of fish. Ages ago i told her I had tried E before, "just coz i was curious" and to keep her happy i also told her I would never touch it again, "it just wasn't me". I thought she believed me and she never brought up the topic again.
Until Monday arvo when I finally got home after Two Tribes, scattered as. she asks, "Hi, how was your night? you must have taken some very good pills if you are still awake at this stage. Go to sleep and I'll wake you in 2 hours for dinner."
I froze, went to bed, and when I got up she just said as long as i am careful and know what i'm doing blah blah blah and that she just doesn't want to know about it and me to be a bad influence on my sisters.
Geez, thinking about it, I wonder what else she knows!
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You live life once - so, go crazy, don't stop - make the most of it!
[This message has been edited by RushingRococco (edited 14 March 2001).]
 
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