Hello (again).
I'm surprised we've not gotten into trouble (yet) for going WAY off the topic of this thread.
APPARENTLY my non-drug addiction is sending messages to
@BellaJewel.
(See what I did there i.e. we're back on topic and in the clear! Lol!).
Nope. Like I said. Just lucky. No rehab. Just said "not spending a penny (cent) more on this shit and getting ripped off blind by these lowlife dealers" and that was that. Matter of fact and if I REALLY think about it: in some really strange and odd twist it was the lowlife dealers themselves that over the years probably had me tapering off without me even realizing it! That said (and obviously only based on my personal experience): I think Cocaine addiction is more of a psychological addiction than a physical addiction. In spite of my resolve (which to my credit I stuck to): it took me a LONG time to NOT think about the stuff every single minute of every single day. And for sure I knew there were certain places and certain people that I had to go out of my way to avoid as they for sure would have served as triggers. It's not easy from that point of view. On more than one occasion I had to tell people visiting in my house that if they persist in trying to score then better they get out of my house because it ain't gonna happen anymore on my watch. Most times didn't go down too well. And needless to say: not friends with any of those so-called friends anymore either. So that's the Cocaine saga!
Isn't it odd what you've just said about Fentanyl. I have the EXACT same fascination with it. Something SO powerful in such small quantities. And of course Carfentanil. And there's another even stronger analog (the name escapes me right now). Absolutely fascinating and amazing to me. Weird huh.
I know of your issue (if you can call it that) from one of your threads. Tell you this much: alcohol is the worst and most evil drug on the planet. And yet it's legal. And I'm under no illusion i.e. every time I've made a fool of myself or made shit for myself I've been pissed. NEVER when on anything else. So for somebody to berate YOU and lay into YOU for Opiate use: well it's disgusting and a travesty (and I'm being real nice here) so you made the right decision. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. And I sure wouldn't beat myself up too much about the issue that you think you have.