well... yeah.
i had a boyfriend for almost 2 years, and we broke up about a year ago... we continued to be *ahem* "friends." i swore up and down, left and right that i wasn't gonna date or get involoved until i figured out who i was... but he and i would still do our thing.
the last year has gone by in a blur. i start 3rd semester at UCONN-hartford next week, and it feels like i should be starting second semester. the only memorable time (except for the last 2 weeks, i'll get into that...) was about a month ago when i did backstage work for a local high school production of "anything goes."
i'm trying to get into the tech theatre program at UCONN, and sorta neglected the whole theatre aspect of my life... and it's been empty--the neglect was part of the reason for the missing 6-months of my life.
i also discovered that i was looking so hard for myself post-breakup that i was losing myself more. ever heard the song "love song for no one" by john mayer? if not, listen to it... it's so true it's scary. but get the live acoustic version with him talking in the beginning.
i was listening to that song on the way up to the asylum, for WET, and decided--because i was going by myself, my friend bitched out on me--that i was going to stop closing myself off to find myself, and let other people guide me along the way. well, serendipity stepped in, i ended up at the BL meetup. i didn't even have a watch on, i just wanted to sit down... and it happened to be in the right spot at the right time. i met a fellow BLer, who (due to my apathy for this site until recently) i had never met before. (i came to the realization that night that i'm oldschool, cuz my member registration only has 4 numbers

... oi, i'm gettin old

)
so anyway, he asked me if i wanted to go elsewhere and dance, as the meetup wasn't really happenin, and we ended up chillin for the rest of the night... and the next night... and 2 nights after that... and so on. and i think he's just what i need.
i'm just paranoid of screwing it up, and of doing the running away thing i always seem to manage... but this time (unlike the last few) i'm not gonna screw it up, and i'm not gonna run away. he's tried convincing me that i haven't done anything to screw it up yet, and i seem to be doing things right... i'm just praying that they stay this good...
and that gas goes down to like $.25 a gallon, cuz i've driven 1200 miles in the 2 weeks i'lve known him. that's about 400 miles more than usual, and i'm not going to any of the normal places i hang... just job A, job B and his house.
so... yeah... things are actually looking really good right now

i haven't stopped smiling in weeks.