What would be your fantasy wedding?

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Awww bless for some reason I believe you!

It's true. I was a sad, pathetic, romantic fool who thought girls liked gentlemen. Eventually, I came to my senses and realised you're all just dirty bitches who can't get enough cock...

 

[Sadie]

I still prefer a gentleman but I do loves me a wicked sense of humour! The two can go together imo.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I still prefer a gentleman but I do loves me a wicked sense of humour! The two can go together imo.

But my idea of being a 'gentleman' was going to bed with them and just sleeping. Doh!

 

[ordinary mind]

In related news, the guy in the 'almost 23 and still a virgin' thread posted to say he's now lost it largely thanks to your advice FUBAR.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

In related news, the guy in the 'almost 23 and still a virgin' thread posted to say he's now lost it largely thanks to your advice FUBAR.

Fuck, wish I had a time machine and could go back and give myself some advice (as well as a good slap)

 

[spacejunk]

^stop slapping people with it and put that thing away, you dirty, dirty man!

In related news, the guy in the 'almost 23 and still a virgin' thread posted to say he's now lost it largely thanks to your advice FUBAR.

but he couldn't get it up?
i didn't have the heart to break it to him (no pun intended)

 

[Rayman]

I'd have the wedding in a medieval church, a really run-down creepy one.
Everyone would be required to consume a pot of ayahuasca. Should be an interesting ceremony.

 

[spacejunk]

^ sounds like a pukefest. romantic

 

[ordinary mind]

but he couldn't get it up?
i didn't have the heart to break it to him (no pun intended)

Just reread his post.

"I actually just got laid...

...I didn't get hard enough to cum or even get inside her."

I am confused.

 

[spacejunk]

kids these daze...

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

^stop slapping people with it and put that thing away, you dirty, dirty man!



but he couldn't get it up?
i didn't have the heart to break it to him (no pun intended)

Yeh, but it's a start innit? He reminds very much of my younger self tbh. I had a very similar experience a couple of years before I properly lost it at 23. A girl took me to bed but I was so nervous I couldn't get a stiffy. So in order not to disappoint, I went down on her - for ages. I was inexperienced, but determined, and she certainly showed her appreciation. That's where I got my love of eating pussy from, and it set me up for my next experience where I lost it properly...

 

[consumer]

Lol @ virgin FUBAR

 

[ordinary mind]

Actually my first time was similar too. Was with my girlfriend from school, we'd been otherwise experimenting for quite a while but decided we were gonna do "it". Suddenly I'm at half mast while we're trying to jam it in, she asks politely if I'm fully hard and I lied and said I was for some reason. No idea why lol.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Lol @ virgin FUBAR

Hmmmph! It's people like you that gave me my massive insecurity issues in the first place. Well fuck you! I've got cunt on tap now (as well as little cunts to fuck it all up - so I'm still no better off...)

 

[spacejunk]

cunt on tap

is that what you call that pishy british beer?

 

[consumer]

No wonder you masturbate so much ?

 

[consumer]

is that what you call that pishy british beer?

Lol!?

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

is that what you call that pishy british beer?

You've obviously never had 'Scruttocks Old Dirigible' then, have you?


You've no idea how much that offends me, considering the piss you lot drink is second only to the pissness of yank beer...

 

[spacejunk]

that must be hard to say when you're ordering your 7th pint

 

[consumer]

You've obviously never had 'Buttocks Old Frozen Shit' then, have you?

Cant say i have..