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🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 What Was YOUR Nightly Fix? v. Smoking the Midnight Oil

Been a while, opioid WD has been a bitch, have managed 7 days clean today, but ordered more IC-26 cuz fuck, can’t deal with life atm

For tonight though, I am feeling finally fully calm after all the anxiety of this week:

- 2.5mg Difludiazepam
- 4mg Rilmazafone
- (roughly) 50-100mg ketamine

Okay I’m very ketamined rn, so sorry for the very rough estimation but uhh yeah, been surviving off of kinda shitty research benzos, weed & a tiny bit of alchohol this week to try and ease the WD anxiety.

Anyone else get absolute psycho eyes in opioid WD? As I’ve gotten accusations of using uppers, while on public transport multiple times this week and it’s been so frustrating… like yeah my pupils look like I’m on MDMA and I’m acting anxiously, but only because I’m fucking sober for once .—.

Will go enjoy my K experience now, more rambling later probably, but for now, good night to my fellow bluelighters :)
 
Been a while, opioid WD has been a bitch, have managed 7 days clean today, but ordered more IC-26 cuz fuck, can’t deal with life atm

For tonight though, I am feeling finally fully calm after all the anxiety of this week:

- 2.5mg Difludiazepam
- 4mg Rilmazafone
- (roughly) 50-100mg ketamine

Okay I’m very ketamined rn, so sorry for the very rough estimation but uhh yeah, been surviving off of kinda shitty research benzos, weed & a tiny bit of alchohol this week to try and ease the WD anxiety.

Anyone else get absolute psycho eyes in opioid WD? As I’ve gotten accusations of using uppers, while on public transport multiple times this week and it’s been so frustrating… like yeah my pupils look like I’m on MDMA and I’m acting anxiously, but only because I’m fucking sober for once .—.

Will go enjoy my K experience now, more rambling later probably, but for now, good night to my fellow bluelighters :)
I've gotten comments on my eyes when I have been in opiate WDs. For one thing being in WDs seems to dilate your pupils to begin with, and then you add in your fight or flight response being in overdrive and it can make it look like your eyes are bugging out, too. I had some stranger at a gas station tell me I had "the eyes of a psycho" once when I was withdrawing lol. I can only assume he was referring to the aforementioned phenomena. Also don't you hate the irony of being accused of being high when in reality the issue is that you're not high?

OT: My morning fix of some meth rapidly turned into my evening fix without really intending it. Using drugs for longer periods than intended is a sign of abuse, according to the DSM-5. It's also the sign of a day well spent, according to me.
 
How do you like zopiclone
I'm guessing lots given how much has been consumed this week :LOL: :ROFLMAO: I can't stand the metallic taste with them

@paranoid android what's the OMFG? is it those 1500mg gummies? that's a shit load to eat, I had a 1000mg by mistake ~12 months ago and it was god delusional strong, had to lay down in a darkened room, cling on to the bed and ride it out.
 
I'm guessing lots given how much has been consumed this week :LOL: :ROFLMAO: I can't stand the metallic taste with them

@paranoid android what's the OMFG? is it those 1500mg gummies? that's a shit load to eat, I had a 1000mg by mistake ~12 months ago and it was god delusional strong, had to lay down in a darkened room, cling on to the bed and ride it out.

No the omfg is a weed strain. The gummies are called something different they where good
 
I've gotten comments on my eyes when I have been in opiate WDs. For one thing being in WDs seems to dilate your pupils to begin with, and then you add in your fight or flight response being in overdrive and it can make it look like your eyes are bugging out, too. I had some stranger at a gas station tell me I had "the eyes of a psycho" once when I was withdrawing lol. I can only assume he was referring to the aforementioned phenomena. Also don't you hate the irony of being accused of being high when in reality the issue is that you're not high?
Ohh fuck yeah I relate big time .—. After my OD and my family knowing about my drug use, I was forced to live back at my mom’s house for a bit and EVERY fucking time I was doped up, I’d get compliments for being in such a good mood.

Then when I ran out or tried to take a tolerance break to not worsen the opioid WD, I would just have breakouts where my mom accused me of being on every substance known to man😭

Or when I was in WD on public transport and two girls pointed at me and said ‘omg he is on drugs for sure!’ And then made a sniffing gesture??? I’m in that phase where I’m slowly becoming the local known druggie and on one hand it’s terrifying cuz people treat you inhuman asf, but it’s also freeing cuz no more pretending to be functionally attending uni, while snorting copious amounts of uppers in the uni toilets .—.

OT:

- 6mg pyrazolam
- 0.5g devil’s cookies weed

Shitty day, couldn’t get out of bed so did a line of meth, then saw the schedule for therapy changed and I missed half of it, sh relapse because my fucking opioids are taking long to arrive and my insides are screaming for those, but now finally feeling calm again.

Have a fun day with my bestie planned tomorrow and a music show with all my friends, so a bit conflicted on getting high if the IC-26 does arrive tomorrow, but also hate being high around my friends and worrying them like that.

Anyways, rambles over, I’m about to pass tf out, so gn and stay safe to my fellow bluelighters :)

- EDIT: another 3mg pyrazolam

Fuckk I want to get diazepam again, kinda done with the research benzos but fuck, they’re so much easier on my bank account😞
 
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Ohh fuck yeah I relate big time .—. After my OD and my family knowing about my drug use, I was forced to live back at my mom’s house for a bit and EVERY fucking time I was doped up, I’d get compliments for being in such a good mood.

Then when I ran out or tried to take a tolerance break to not worsen the opioid WD, I would just have breakouts where my mom accused me of being on every substance known to man😭

Or when I was in WD on public transport and two girls pointed at me and said ‘omg he is on drugs for sure!’ And then made a sniffing gesture??? I’m in that phase where I’m slowly becoming the local known druggie and on one hand it’s terrifying cuz people treat you inhuman asf, but it’s also freeing cuz no more pretending to be functionally attending uni, while snorting copious amounts of uppers in the uni toilets .—.

OT:

- 6mg pyrazolam
- 0.5g devil’s cookies weed

Shitty day, couldn’t get out of bed so did a line of meth, then saw the schedule for therapy changed and I missed half of it, sh relapse because my fucking opioids are taking long to arrive and my insides are screaming for those, but now finally feeling calm again.

Have a fun day with my bestie planned tomorrow and a music show with all my friends, so a bit conflicted on getting high if the IC-26 does arrive tomorrow, but also hate being high around my friends and worrying them like that.

Anyways, rambles over, I’m about to pass tf out, so gn and stay safe to my fellow bluelighters :)

- EDIT: another 3mg pyrazolam

Fuckk I want to get diazepam again, kinda done with the research benzos but fuck, they’re so much easier on my bank account😞
Your story about the 2 girls accusing you of being on drugs reminded me of the time my friend and I were smoking some clear and fent in his car, an older Toyota (reliable but certainly not flashy), and some highschool girls walked by and pointed at the car. One said, "oh my god, that's a drug dealer's car!" And I yelled back, "if we're drug dealers, we obviously aren't very successful ones!" Lol.
 
Ohh fuck yeah I relate big time .—. After my OD and my family knowing about my drug use, I was forced to live back at my mom’s house for a bit and EVERY fucking time I was doped up, I’d get compliments for being in such a good mood.
Wasthe same for me with the good mood in the beginning
Then when I ran out or tried to take a tolerance break to not worsen the opioid WD, I would just have breakouts where my mom accused me of being on every substance known to man😭
The worst in my case was crashing and dozing off when I didn't take enough - of whatever opioid I was on bc they actually help me to be active and stay awake. Sounds wrong somehow but it's true for my usual dose-range. 🤷‍♀️

OT:
25 mg Quetiapine, couldn't sleep though as my thoughts were intensely whirling around in my head.
Got up to vape some weed,
Got up again to vape more and finished the remainder - which is supposed to be the last of my life, in any case the last I ever bought for myself.
Still feeling and seeing it in my eyes - a worthy good-bye, though not really something I've ever been too fond of.
One more substance down.😁
And the vaporizer is due for some intense cleaning and getting some different herbs in finally.
 
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