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🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 What Was YOUR Morning Fix? v. I Smoke Weed, Eat Yogurt

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Been sleeping really shitty lately. The fact that I've been on a bit of a disso bender probably doesn't help.

Fell asleep around 6am this morning after a night of FXE, woke up at 8am, smoked a bit of weed to see if I could get back to sleep. No success. So around 9am I did around 25mg of FXE as I debated whether to try to sleep more before I go into work (dont start until 5pm) or just stay up. It became evident that sleep wasnt going to happen so I loaded a bowl of meth which arrived last night and which I haven't had in a few years. Just had to remember what it felt like.

So my morning so far has been
A bowl of High CBD Bud
25mg FXE
2mg Buprenorphine
~30mg of Methamphetamine smoked

Probably gonna add a bit of Phenibut and Magnesium Glycinate
finally a fellow bluelighter that takes and understands how awesome magnesium is both mentally and physically (assuming that you do) Glycinate has to be my favorite form of magnesium, stuff lays me out and relaxes the shit out of me, especially when i haven't had it in a while. Mag has changed my life in so many ways, I can go on for hours about magnesium.
 
125mgs methadone
Drinking a 24oz can of earthquake black cherry 10%abv
Small hit of strong weed
375mgs magnesium taurate (forgot to add in my last post that magnesium potentiates opioids kinda the same way dxm does)
2 grams vitamin c, 5mgs vit b6, 15mgs vit e, and 15mgs zinc citrate
 
Took a shot of NyQuil just to help take the edge off plus allergies n shit (I live in Arkansas)

on 1mg of clonaz and 1,200mg gabapentin really tryna hold off on taking another dose of the clonaz

cuz I’m trying to prove a point to myself cuz I already messed up (cuz I had 90mg of the clonaz) ended up taking 15 in like 4-5 days so I’m tryna test myself to see if I need to put them down for a long time again sadly

And if so fuck it I’ll just take the occasional opioid high it’s much better then dealing with bzd wd for months that’s for damn sure
 
Usual...(for da day)4mg bupr,20mg diaz.,25mg sertraline......and some pods...ain't got weed shit!two weeks would be like this ma man is gone on mountain trackin'....think to buy some bullets nitrous
 
What's FXE like?
It's somewhat similar to ketamine, albeit a little bit more stimulating and a little less psychedelic. Just makes things a bit more fun and interesting and adds a little sense of profundity to everything. I sure do love dissociatives.
finally a fellow bluelighter that takes and understands how awesome magnesium is both mentally and physically (assuming that you do) Glycinate has to be my favorite form of magnesium, stuff lays me out and relaxes the shit out of me, especially when i haven't had it in a while. Mag has changed my life in so many ways, I can go on for hours about magnesium.
Magnesium is awesome, but I under utilize it. The Glycinate form does actually have a noticeable effect in terms of relaxation, but its not enough for me to remember to take it regularly. I mainly took it the other day to help the jaw clenching from the meth.

Well last night I had a number of 3-ho-pcp bumps. Had some a bit too late and it's now after 7 am and I can't sleep. So I took a very small dose of Bromazolam, 50mg of Diphenhydramine, 2mg Buprenorphine, and .1mg Clonidine. Really hoping that I can pass out soon.

I have an appointment at 4pm with my addictions counselor today. Hoping that I get some sleep and can keep up the courage to be honest with her about my short 2 day meth relapse.

I have 14mg of 3-HO-PCP weighed out to take tomorrow after I leave her office. I have yet to open up to her about my continued dissociative use out of fear that she'll say something that will make me want to quit. I truly have an addicts mind.

I'm hoping that I can get back to once a week dissociative use. I've gotten back into the habit of using them multiple days a week and it really makes for a hell of a tolerance. The worst part is that sober days start to become way more boring, and I was just starting to feel okay being sober during the weekdays before slipping back into daily use.

I feel like Sisyphus constantly trying to manage my use.
 
Nicotine - wayyyy too much....tryna quit so been wearing a patch but took it off an hour ago after wearing it for 12 hours because the skin under it started feel irritated like contact dermatitis
- 2.5 15mg nicotine inhalers....which is like 37 cigarettes? OOPS
- 12 cigarettes
- yes, I feel shaky and nauseated and this was dumb
Caffeine - 880mg - yes, I feel shaky and nauseated and this was also dumb
Sertraline 150mg
Dihydrocodeine 382.2mg....yes, I'm a SPECIFIC muthafuckah
Gabapentin - 4800mg
Cyclizine 100mg
 
Nicotine - wayyyy too much....tryna quit so been wearing a patch but took it off an hour ago after wearing it for 12 hours because the skin under it started feel irritated like contact dermatitis
- 2.5 15mg nicotine inhalers....which is like 37 cigarettes? OOPS
- 12 cigarettes
- yes, I feel shaky and nauseated and this was dumb
Caffeine - 880mg - yes, I feel shaky and nauseated and this was also dumb
Sertraline 150mg
Dihydrocodeine 382.2mg....yes, I'm a SPECIFIC muthafuckah
Gabapentin - 4800mg
Cyclizine 100mg
Nicotine doesn't last very long so you'll probably feel better in an hour or so. However, that's a lot of caffeine too (which does last longer).

OT: just kratom for now, can't get out of bed yet because I'm trapped by my gf's arms.
Edit: ok I'm no longer trapped.
Gonna wait till the kratom hits me to make a cup of coffee or something.
 
Usual daily meds.Haven't weed&right in this moment(and from a couple of days)wanna smoke weed,but must wait ten days to get some eventually......but got couplebof bullets N2O:)
 
125mgs methadone
Drinking a 24oz can of earthquake black cherry 10%abv
Small hit of strong weed
375mgs magnesium taurate (forgot to add in my last post that magnesium potentiates opioids kinda the same way dxm does)
2 grams vitamin c, 5mgs vit b6, 15mgs vit e, and 15mgs zinc citrate
Bruh talk to me about magnesium I have no idea about any of it

Like what are the basic affects n shit is it a specific kind that u need ect. ?
 
1 joint of the best weed in this town literally ik for sure this supplier gets straight legal (from Colorado & Oklahoma)

3 cups of coffee and gabapentin(1,800mg)
8mg zofran
Marlboros
Ibuprofen 800mg (for gabapentin absorption)

Smoking Marlboros n drinking coffee on my deck listening to nature plus it’s a beautiful sunny morning (only good thing bout Arkansas is the nature is everywhere)

Added 2mg clonaz 1mg SL 1mg oral

And I figured out I’m getting some lorazepam today which is good cuz if I’m gon be doin benzos I at least need the option for a weaker one lol plus I like Ativan as much as people shit on it and I was a full blown Xanax addict 🤷‍♂️ig everyone’s just different

Hope everyone’s chillin goood or at the very least feelin slightly okay ❤️💯
 
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a few saltines, some peanut butter and coffee.
went for a walk and dosed .25mg bzd with more coffee cause I missed it last night and back started acting up
finally a cig just a few minutes ago
 
Yeah man been there myself I know absolutely for certain

Plus it’s goood quality too IMO its right next to Colorados weed if you know where to get from lol
Wasn't doubting you, just surprised to hear it since Okla. is so "tough on crime" (with the highest incarceration rate and the most executions per capita in the US) & strict on alcohol (with the unique rule that beer/wine can only be sold warm at liquor stores). . .
 
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