Happy birthday, kiddo!Good morning fellow bluelighters, hope yāall having a decent start of your day
Itās my 19th birthday today and man, this has to be the weirdest birthday so far. Did roughly 0.25g meth yesterday and it was good, but honestly I was underwhelmed.
Todayās chemical breakfast:
- 0.18g meth
- 0.30g 2-mmc
Weirdest fucking thing is yesterday or technically today ig, I used meth around 01:00 with half a joint and way too big a line of ketamine and I literally fell asleep an hour afterwards.
I feel very medicated, sometimes I hate having ADHD and not getting to experience uppers like other people do .ā.
Going to get ready for a long ass uni day now, honestly feel sad despite the meth and 2-mmc. I have so much to do that I just canāt feel any joy surrounding my birthday :/ Hopefully have time to write that trip report today, that 2C-B trip was really good mentally in a way.
ThanksHappy birthday, kiddo!
Though honestly I'm a bit glad you're not off the socks with the meth. I have a pretty close friend who keeps doing meth despite nearly suffocating every time... That stuff is just unhealthy in every way.
And just in case it matters by any means, there are quite a few people who don't enjoy uppers ( BIG arrow towards myself, and I know I'm by far not the only one - also definitely don't have ADHD)...
150mg opium, eaten an hour or so ago
Getting up now (9.25am) and getting the coffee on
The alien abduction thing on trips is always interesting. Never done 2C-B but have experienced it with acid and mushrooms. It's not really like how I think about abductions or alien contact in pop culture when I'm sober, it basically feels like I know far less about what my reality is than I assumed before the trip and it starts to seem like I could be a part of a massive experiment or as though I am being tested somehow by something invisible. It is more of a sense of that than really really believing it, and I think it's just a reflection of how radically these substances can affect your perception of reality. It starts to seem like reality is inherently confusing and part of something far more complex than we could ever imagine and we just basically ignore that side of things when we are molded into members of our society. Kind of some hippy babble but I'm interested to read your thing. I love how you can just get a completely new world view thrust upon you in a trip, and how it can be at first scary and very weird but then you begin to get to some universal truths about how confusing and infinite life actually is. Less that it's an alien abduction or a test or a different reality but instead that those perspectives are about as possible as whatever we're conditioned to believe. When you lose your bearings like that you really start to see what actually grounds us, what actually is interesting and worthwhile in life, instead of trying to explain everything away and rationalize how our minds work. Instead of doing that in a trip, I have to basically focus on my immediate surroundings and how we can really only stay grounded and satisfied if we just appreciate what is directly in front of us and view our thoughts as things that just come and go without a ton of weight on them being right or wrong. Forever grateful to have had experiences like that even though they can get really scary if you get lost in the chaos, getting back "home" in the middle-end of a hardcore trip is one of the most relieving feelings I've ever felt, and suddenly I am certain that everything in my life and the world is going to be alright in the end. That fades away of course but what a powerful feeling.Man I had a really fun, but intense 2C-B trip last night, 6mg and the walls were changing color. Unsure if I still feel some sort of afterglow, almost feels like xtc in a way, sad that itās over but grateful for the experience. Trip report coming TODAY, because I always say Iāll make a trip report but then forget it, so saying it here to hold myself accountable haha.
Unsure how only 6mg did that, I got my shit professionally tested, I guess I just have a sensitivity to 2C-B or psychedelics in general? Anyone have a similar experience where with some substances you need a lot to feel even a little high but with others only a little bit and Iām blown into space? I K holed of 3 small bumps my first time doing K and it was like 56% purity or some shit, so not that strong either??? God I am in a rambly mood
Back on this threadās topic: early this morning or late night yesterday (around 02:30) I added sum stuff to the 2C-B trip:
- 1 big line of ketamine
- 30-40mg diazepam
- 5-10mg deschloroetizolam
Took the diazepam around 02:30 as I did want some kind of kind of rest. Intended only 30mg but looking at the pill strip thereās 4 missing so uhh oops I blacked out and canāt remember shit from the last of my trip, bit sad, cuz the start of the ketamine hitting with my music playing felt absolutely godlike, but then I passed out I think. Also forgot I took deschloroetizolam, but I am now seeing it laying on my milligram scale and remember vaguely taking some.
Still feel fucking lovely though, been a while since I got diazepam and itās right beside deschloroetizolam as my fav. benzo for sure. I am suspicious that these are counterfeit pills though, the packaging is sloppy looking and different from other strips Iād previously gotten. Might get a pill tested cuz this feels a little too good compared to my usual āahh I feel chill & pretty niceā feelings from benzos, this feels almost manically euphoric but it could also be the 2C-B afterglow or the fact that my baggie of ketamine is also empty which I donāt remember doing .ā.
Unsure what chemical cocktail Iād like for the rest of today, I feel nice as is but I do have chores to do and an important call regarding my testosterone to make so my collection of uppers is staring at me realll suggestively.
First Iāll have breakfast though since yesterdayās dinner was an alien experience with the 2C-B and only managed to eat a sad rice cake with plastic looking vegan cheeseOkay okay, now Iām actually shutting up and leaving the rest for the trip report because that entire experience felt like an alien abduction and I managed to write down some absolute banger thoughts I was having.
Hope yāall have a lovely day)