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what keeps you alive?

ratgirldjh said:
i'm still alive because i'm not finished here yet
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Love that!! I agree but I think that Im alive because God hasnt finished with me yet.

I dont know what I would do without faith. Ive fallen in so many dark, dark pits of my own making and its only the Light that shines in such relief against my darkness that pulls me out


Peace n Love
 
suessmayr said:
I love Boethius. He's such an oddball in terms of the Roman/European divide. I think Seneca is similar in terms of what he suffered. It can be comforting to read the work of these people and to know that people have been suffering for thousands of years.
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never read anything about Seneca but wiki'd him for fun, seems like he faced similar bullshit. I find it shocking that even as far back as Socrates (and probably since the dawn of time), the people who do the right, moral or just thing always get fucked over. Evil still seems to triumph now and the good guys still go down but maybe i'm being cynical and perhaps the good guys will win in the end lol. Boethius' writings really opened up my mind and gave me perspective on my own ups and downs, and his writing was really beautiful as well.

back on topic; i find it interesting that there are others who fear the unknown after death, if we knew what would happen when we die then I think the majority of us would just kill ourselves lol.
 
My thirst for knowledge keeps me going. I OD'd once and have never taken life for granted since. Though the event only kept me away from drugs for a couple weeks, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Because of that day, I've started to read Pharmacology books as my "light reading" in addition to studying much more extensively than ever before.

My faith, friends and family provide an escape when things get tough. To everyone who thinks there's no reason they're still on the planet, you're wrong. Look hard enough and you'll find something that gives you the self-worth you've lost along the way.
 
My GF killed herself when we were both 18.

As this fucked me up to a certain degree and I'm a non-believer that thinks God died in Auschwitz and nothing comes after, I'm quite convinced that suidide is a fucking stupid idea for everyone involved.

Better to keep on living, something'll kill you soon enough.
 
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Have more so realised reasons to live and not die.

Simple reasons too i guess, that i have somewhere i can live, and i have a beautiful white german shepherd dog and can go raving and enjoy my life in whatever way i want to.

People are starving.. cant get clean water.. crime.. war.. i dont have to go through any of that.
Im grateful for all of this and i also enjoy doing my weights and walking the dog
 
my animals- ive got to keep it pushing because they need me, im thier mommy, they have to eat, and they have to be loved. in all actuality its ME who needs them! ive got 2 salamanders and a cat. this is a good post, theres been lots of times i just wanted to be invisible and not exist, aside from my mom, its my animals that keep the frayed peice of thread together.
 
I don't know. I fear I contemplate this too much, though.
Mostly I don't want to (be here) at all.
Ultimately it ismy family and closest of friends, keeping me alive. (as well as luck-knock on wood*)
 
Same as a lot of people have said. My family and friends. My friends who see me every day are the reason I keep going through the motions. I know seeing me so depressed worries them and frustrates them because they don't know how to help. So I keep trying all the things they think will fix me..but to be honest, every day I think about it. But I keep pushing through every day because I don't want to hurt anyone more.
 
theartofwar said:
This is weird - if all goes well - I hope to end life within 3 weeks. I am quite content , and life is going well. Stable etc, my reasons I have spoken through for now about 4 months (thought for YEARS daily) w my therapist - and she has given me interesting food for thought and I am taking parts of it for now.

My mom and dad both know that I am going to follow through so being I do not have a manic depressive episodes , I am only doing this in good times , and logical thought :). They are both really struggling with it, it does hurt me so much, but I know that within a grieving period , the lives they know will be better :) and I think that my dad has slowly admitted some of the truth of that to himself. My poor mum, she is just too distraught trying to find things to make me happy so I don't do this - my god , happiness I have !!!! I wish that life / death could be viewed differently after the years I have spent dedicated to a few facts of logic - and a few seeds of wisdom. I follow them, and I am almost at the day - now everyone tries to get me hospitalized against my will, I am quite calm and in control of my mind - the poor EMTS must be fed up.

So what keeps me alive ? My goals - then, nothing !! And wicked fuckin stoked !!! :D
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Um this has to be the most ridiculous thing ive ever read on this board...

If your not joking you have some serious mental problems dude....

Life is short as it is..

Thank you helping me appreciate life; i was having some thoughts like yours but fuck you gave me a reality check
 
For me its not fear of dying. It's fear of dying after putting up with being miserable for so long without finding an answer. I want to accomplish something in my life to give it meaning. Maybe that could be love but whatever it is getting out of depression must come first. Hope not in God but in finding comfort in the cosmic fabric of life again, like that I find tripping on acid. That's my God. Maybe thats just what death is like when I fail. :p
 
D7CE said:
For me its not fear of dying. It's fear of dying after putting up with being miserable for so long without finding an answer. I want to accomplish something in my life to give it meaning. Maybe that could be love but whatever it is getting out of depression must come first. Hope not in God but in finding comfort in the cosmic fabric of life again, like that I find tripping on acid. That's my God. Maybe thats just what death is like when I fail. :p
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hahaha, that was a good one :) After being miserable for so long you can't afford to die, you have to prove yourself that you may be miserable for the rest of your life.
I know for sure that when things go wrong, if nothing is changed, then by default they will definitely go worse.
Getting out of depression is so easy. Shift from depression to anger, anger is the opposite of depression, so that's what you need to get out of it. And i'm sure you can find lots of reasons to be angry for (i.e.: because the little red riding hood got away after being a bad girl and not listening to her mother, went to party and got drunk with the wolf, while 2 of the 3 little piggies were eaten by the big bad wolf just because they weren't maniac enough to build a bunker ... life's so unfair :)) ).
As for giving a meaning to your life, is just up to you. If you analyze a bit, it's only you the one who put up and accepted all the things that happened in your life. Now don't go blame yourself either, you're not yet truly conscious of why you did what you did so far, why you thought what you thought so far. Human behavior is more emotional than rational, so trying to solve an emotional problem with a rational approach is doomed from the start.
Therefor, get yourself in an angry mood, then set up something to accomplish in your life, but for god sake (though i don't believe in god :D), start with baby steps, otherwise you're prone for procrastination and more of self blame, which, for the record, not only isn't doing any good, it also prevents from clearing up your thoughts and actions.
 
oliphill said:
Hope, faith and courage are always good in hard times :)
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hope - an illusion of the mind meant to keep people trapped in time. The worse of the monsters from Pandora's box because it is so deceitful. When all hopes die, a man will truly be a man.
faith - an idea inoculated by church to keep masses under control. There's no such thing as faith, there's either you know because you lived it or you don't know for sure and you have doubts. Knowing beyond any doubts will free you from the idea of faith.
courage - another word for the masses. Is either you train to face different situations and master your fears or you go along with the bullshits and lies that society provides so generously. Very rare are the moments when an untrained person can put aside their fears and see things clearly. In crisis situations most untrained minds will paralyze the body with fear.
 
Wisdom.

I wake up most days, especially those that i have off work wondering why im here.. i feel slightly psychotic when i have to much free time because im overwhelmed with the endless possibilities in which i could spend that time and how in the grand scheme of it all, it doesn't matter how i spend it.. so that in itself creates a lot of angst. However my curiosity of how my views and attitudes will change over time through life experience motivates me to continue living.
 
frozen0k said:
hope - an illusion of the mind meant to keep people trapped in time. The worse of the monsters from Pandora's box because it is so deceitful. When all hopes die, a man will truly be a man.
faith - an idea inoculated by church to keep masses under control. There's no such thing as faith, there's either you know because you lived it or you don't know for sure and you have doubts. Knowing beyond any doubts will free you from the idea of faith.
courage - another word for the masses. Is either you train to face different situations and master your fears or you go along with the bullshits and lies that society provides so generously. Very rare are the moments when an untrained person can put aside their fears and see things clearly. In crisis situations most untrained minds will paralyze the body with fear.
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What a lovely take on it. <3
 
This is a crazy post. . I really don't know why I am so lucky to be alive . .. people themselves are amazing you can travel the world and see the differences but its at the same time all the same . ..I myself really dont know when I felt this way but at the same time I know I was fucked with at all angles man seriously I was being followed and I was being watched while I was beating off and in the h sower I had no privacy and this was real years and years I was becomming a mentalo person and it was because of the police and so on . . .I changed me as to who I am today. . here i sit with some people and the yare telling some magical stories yet I listen but they have no clue what life is . . I continue because I experince new things every day. Acids, herion, weed, pills, coke . . . this is what I am doing now . . Life is sooo amazing man . . I never have been in a serious relationship yet love is something that you should charrish . .what Im trying to put acrossi is the factthat we live life once every human wants to end it at one point . . I have thought about it all the time . . or not all the time but alot I tough it out live the life . . I realize I am searching for something or the fun i had in the past and its not going to happen never . l. . . I am not going to be able to have the fun I had in the past and I need to realize this and calm down with pills and coke and weed. .
 
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At the moment, promises I have made to people I care about and an unwillingness to inflict this much pain on anyone else. Trying desperately to have hope that things will get better but I don't have any at all at the moment.
 
Just lost my father a couple of weeks ago and the only thing keeping me going is my son and MXE
 
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