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what keeps you alive?

pharmakos

pharmakos

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Joined
Jun 15, 2008
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i feel like the only thing that keeps me from laying down in front of a semi is the idea that god doesn't take pity on people that commit suicide. i am starting to doubt that though. could just be like telling god there's a fly in your soup...
 
I'm still alive because I just have an over-developed sense of self-preservation; in spite of the urges I get to do really risky, random, reckless, or otherwise inadvisable activities.

I've had enough of death, and life is so much more interesting besides.
 
Firstly and most obviously, God almost certainly doesn't exist. I mean, seriously.

Secondly, and if there were a God, there still would be nothing wrong with suicide. There is nothing in the bible about suicide being a sin; it's just bullshit spun by priests for apparently no real reason.
 
Personally, I always have a new reason. At the moment I have an insane drive to make something of myself and better my fellow human beings; on an intellectual level, and, as macho as it sounds, physically dominate them. I don't care how big my muscles are etc., but I'm striving to be able to fight, and beat anyone 1 on 1, and train Muay Thai and MMA. Knowing (or believing) I can defend myself, will give me a sense of security and ultimately relaxation. I'm not an aggressive person, but I'm a passive control freak. Oh, and most of all, the idea of one day having a shit load of money!
 
suessmayr said:
Firstly and most obviously, God almost certainly doesn't exist. I mean, seriously.

Secondly, and if there were a God, there still would be nothing wrong with suicide. There is nothing in the bible about suicide being a sin; it's just bullshit spun by priests for apparently no real reason.
Click to expand...

What about those idiots we like to call 'suicide bombers'? They seem to be highly-religious generally, so they must know what's going on (haha!).
 
God may very well exist, there's just no way to prove it either way. This whole life thing would be pretty random if there is no higher power (absurd). The whole universe is so finely tuned that if anything were different, nothing could exist. You can either have faith or not but nothing is going to prove/disprove the existence of God. Also if you believe in an all knowing omnipotent God; then God would already have accounted for your suicide before everything was even created, the idea of a judgemental God is most certainly the projection of human qualities on an unknown force.

I don't think the suicide bombers really think they are going to heaven to live out eternity with 100 virgins, who'd even want that in heaven anyhow? They die for something they believe in, a cause that is bigger than themselves, whether the reasons are legitimate or not is another topic however.

I keep on living, mostly to not put anyone else through pain and probably because I'm afraid to die, i feel like it's either going to be like a massive dmt trip that sends me into a new world, or just the realization that everything is going black and then i'll have no consciousness. Some other reasons: new video games, new technology, new psychedelics to explore, being around for new discoveries that impact life tremendously. There's lots of reasons I guess but nevertheless I still feel suicidal sometimes just because there is too much pain, if I stay alive long enough maybe I'll see it all balance out. It'd suck to die only to have everything change for the better afterwards. It's kind of like a gambling addiction, each day there's another chance at winning, even when you have lost everything you'll still keep playing in the hopes that you will win it all back.
 
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RobotRipping yeah, theres always that double edge of one side good and one side bad. The more you think about bad, it just brings down energy. So why even both focusing on that.

Look at all the possibilities from a psychedelic point of view: Male(orfemale)human being on this earth, among plants and trees, and grass and lakes. Try to walk to some body of water. Fuck our government but look at our land, they can't take away beauty in small things. Only our drug-missing minds cause that bullshit. But that's what it is, bullshit because there is beauty there, just sometimes we miss it. Beautiful ladies waiting to have their clothes ripped off by you. I just learned how to make my own tye dye and I plan to be a stubborn mofo when I'm older(wearing tye dye) that argues people who bullshit without knowing what they're talking about.Stand up for freedom and fight bullshit tyranny under the guise of religion. I could die early, but then what fun would that be?
 
Food and water keep me alive plus not wanting to hurt my family. Can you imagine the guilt a mother would feel if one of her children chose to commit suicide. I just couldn't do it to her.
 
Cause I fear the nothingness of death more than I fear life
Cause I have a feeling that if I force myself to die "before my time"...I'll be held in the spot between life and death, and I heard it's agonizing...more agonizing than life
And cause I still have drugs to keep me sane and happy when I have nothing
 
This is weird - if all goes well - I hope to end life within 3 weeks. I am quite content , and life is going well. Stable etc, my reasons I have spoken through for now about 4 months (thought for YEARS daily) w my therapist - and she has given me interesting food for thought and I am taking parts of it for now.

My mom and dad both know that I am going to follow through so being I do not have a manic depressive episodes , I am only doing this in good times , and logical thought :). They are both really struggling with it, it does hurt me so much, but I know that within a grieving period , the lives they know will be better :) and I think that my dad has slowly admitted some of the truth of that to himself. My poor mum, she is just too distraught trying to find things to make me happy so I don't do this - my god , happiness I have !!!! I wish that life / death could be viewed differently after the years I have spent dedicated to a few facts of logic - and a few seeds of wisdom. I follow them, and I am almost at the day - now everyone tries to get me hospitalized against my will, I am quite calm and in control of my mind - the poor EMTS must be fed up.

So what keeps me alive ? My goals - then, nothing !! And wicked fuckin stoked !!! :D
 
suessmayr said:
Firstly and most obviously, God almost certainly doesn't exist. I mean, seriously.

Secondly, and if there were a God, there still would be nothing wrong with suicide. There is nothing in the bible about suicide being a sin; it's just bullshit spun by priests for apparently no real reason.
Click to expand...
Well, churches and priests want people to continue living so that said people can continue to contribute to their finances and/or produce babies that will do the same later on. I think it's quite sad.


To answer the OP, my beating heart keeps me alive. Haha. Although it took psychedelic experiences to help me realize that one should enjoy this life and to abandon preoccupations with death, because death is a part of the cycle of life.
 
Usually the knowledge that I have the means to commit suicide or just suicide in general. I've known for a long time now, that when the real moment comes i'll take it. Time is the only variable thats been in my equation for atleast 13 years now. As time has passed its really hit home and i've come to understand life just isn't for a person like me. By not killing myself in the bad times and staying strong, still having the true desire, I realized it was more of this than because of sadness. Theres more to it than that, but in a basic sense......
 
theartofwar said:
This is weird - if all goes well - I hope to end life within 3 weeks. I am quite content , and life is going well. Stable etc, my reasons I have spoken through for now about 4 months (thought for YEARS daily) w my therapist - and she has given me interesting food for thought and I am taking parts of it for now.

My mom and dad both know that I am going to follow through so being I do not have a manic depressive episodes , I am only doing this in good times , and logical thought :). They are both really struggling with it, it does hurt me so much, but I know that within a grieving period , the lives they know will be better :) and I think that my dad has slowly admitted some of the truth of that to himself. My poor mum, she is just too distraught trying to find things to make me happy so I don't do this - my god , happiness I have !!!! I wish that life / death could be viewed differently after the years I have spent dedicated to a few facts of logic - and a few seeds of wisdom. I follow them, and I am almost at the day - now everyone tries to get me hospitalized against my will, I am quite calm and in control of my mind - the poor EMTS must be fed up.

So what keeps me alive ? My goals - then, nothing !! And wicked fuckin stoked !!! :D
Click to expand...

Wait, what? Why? Wha..?

I'm curious as to the logic that you're using here. Honestly, I want to know why you think that this is a good idea, to cause such pain to your loved ones and to needlessly shorten your life to as little as a quarter of what it rightfully should be. You suffer; I know this, but death is oblivion, not relief.
 
I think death is like sleeping without dreaming (when you take a lot of meds to sleep you don't dream, at least for me).

And if that's the case, I do not fear death, but the act of dying is another story completely.

Death might be oblivion, it's ok for me.
 
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