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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

what keeps you alive?

I'm afraid of going to hell which I don't even think exists. That, and my dog. My dogs have kept me from killing myself a few times.....
 
Thanks overdone.

Thinks it's time I come of the MXE now and really begin to deal with the situation more sensibly.
 
My intense fear of dying, and the thought of what my mom and sister would go through.

and the thought that someday I will find someone that can help me make my shitty life better
 
What makes me not afraid to die at all is that my sweet, sweet 20 year old son went before me. What keeps me alive is my other sweet son, his incredible brother.
 
There are a few things that keep me from killing myself. One, I am too god damn selfish to do that, I don't want anyone getting all my stuff dammit its mine.
Secondly, I could careless about my family with the exception of my mother and my little sis. I could NEVER put them through thattype on pain on purpose. A mother should never have to bury her child.
And thirdly, I am afraid that I will die in my condo and no one will know until my cats have eaten out my entrails and the place starts smelling like Jeffrey Dhalmer's place.
 
I agree with a lot of people here, my mom is one that keeps me from killing myself, it would be hard on here and I cant do that too, not to mention the person who would find me, I cant do that to them. I wont lie though, I think about dying some times. But drugs help, cuz I know once I die I wont have them to make me feel good, its like breathing for me.
 
Number one reason has to be pride. Deep down I know Im strong enough to deal with whatever is put infront of me, even though sometimes thats a hard concept to convince yourself. My boyfriend (soon to be fiance) that I have an unbeleive amount of love for. My parents....because now a days its hard to find parents who actually give a fuck about there kids- and I think my parents are amazing. And the thought that im about to graduate college and hopefully have a wonderful future....because a few years ago I wouldnt picture myself where I am now.

So when I do go into those deep depressions I keep thinking of those things. I actaully have them listed in a journal, so whenever I find myself asking "what keeps me alive" or "why is it even worth it" I see these things that just make me smile.


Just remember.....your life could ALWAYS be worse
 
Possibilities of doing new things, meeting new people, taking new drugs, destroying old worlds, the usual...
 
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