A break from stress & pain & life in general.
For once not really drugs as oddly it doesn't feel as though they'd "fit"?.
Maybe they would help but have done a decent amount of Dilaudid as of late.
Basically to make sure I could got to/through specialist Dr. Appts.
Have also been taking some extra Klonopin & Neurontin to help calm the system.
Along with the Dillies for the stated reason.
Now after having gotten through most Appts. for a while anyways.
Well a few week break outside of my therapist.
Which isn't usually stressful, usually I just bullshit about books, neuroscience, etc. & we just converse.
So not worried about that next week, but having to taper back off Dilaudid is appearing daunting.
As oddly symptoms seem worse since I'm taking ER Morphine as prescribed for pain; not that it works.
Especially at my current reduced dosage, which I will also have to cut more before I see PM
Oddly the Dilaudid w/d's actually seem worse with taking the ER Morphine than with nothing.
I guess perhaps a break from being dependent on Opiates & Benzo's & the like would be what I'm craving.
Maybe a chance to experience substances without all the dependency & withdrawal issues.
Perhaps if I can ever get an answer about Remeron (Mirtazapine) interacting with Ketamine.
If it affects the "rush" of IV drugs in general, IE. Opiates.
Or answers to any other interaction questions outside of the K question.
Then maybe I could finally give the K I've had for quite a while a try.
I've sniffed it a few times but that's about it, if it doesn't interact...
Perhaps IV K with just enough opiates/benzo's in system to keep w/d's at bay.
Maybe that miight be the "break" I'm needing.
Sort of like a way to reset my thoughts like some do with Psychedelics.
Not sure as I've never K holed but anecdotally it seems like it might be what I'm looking for.
As nasally I enjoyed it so perhaps I do enjoy Disassociatives.
Whereas I don't generally enjoy Psychedelics, to many bad experiences perhaps.
Who knows, but I should digress as I'm beginning to ramble.
Regardless this isn't really the thread for my thoughts;or introspection.
So I apologize for having taken the thread space, it just seemed appropriate to explain my craving.
I guess maybe I'm just craving a change in general?