Completely off-topic:
I get the Pavlovian concept, but for me the pairing was always more music and weed. I still listen to music and smoke weed. I'll even do one without the other.
I don't spend as much time listening to music now. A few tracks here and there. Very rarely an entire album.
But this decline in interest has been going on for years, which i've mostly spent drinking and drugging. People change.
100% agreed, but not relevant to my decision to quit pretending to be an artist. I used to love making underground music with no regard to the time, energy and money i invested in it. Opportunistic artists too eager for money and fame annoyed me to no end. They still would if i actually gave a damn.
Played guitar for 25 or so years with a hiatus here or there due to alcoholism and homelessness among other things. I spent most of my free time with a guitar in my hands as a teen. I can hold my own as a player (one thing that makes quitting easier is that it's not terminal, i've had no interest in developing as a player for years but i neither regress all that much if i put it down for even extended times.) but was always more interested in writing.
Problem is, when i listen to the bands i played with and especially the shit i wrote, i literally regret ever playing/writing that shit. I don't care for the style of music i used to play anymore, and it's the only style i'm confident playing because i know the idiom well. I also realize i was never much of a writer and wish my weak shit never got released.
My lyrics were a bit more decent, but too much in line with the style i used to play to really be of much use anywhere else. Got two offers from people who would like to make music to my lyrics, but ended up declining both.
I could play guitar or bass or even scream for a band with someone else doing the writing, but i hate performing live. I'll play for a studio project if they'll have me, but i'm not interested in actively seeking out a band or musicians. I considered musicians an annoying bunch even back when i was one.
I recently sold my last guitar to a former bandmate after having it gather dust for months. I felt relieved that i am no longer wasting time, energy or money on a thing i lost the passion for years ago. Kinda like being glad to be single again.
Music used to be an obsession for me (as both fan and wannabe artist) and i now realize it was an unhealthy one. There is more to life than geeking out over music when you're not 16 anymore. I just feel it's time for me to either figure out something more useful to do or stop wasting oxygen.
