What’s the longest time you were without sex?

[Hate_Me]

13 years… then I lost my virginity.

Since regularly having sex, several months. I was a hoe when I was younger. Been married for 14 years and have a healthy sex life.

 

[Jen X]

6 years

 

[elgoucho9]

During covid i went 1 year after splitting with an ex. Was quite traumatised the way it all ended was fucked up and didn't really want to be with anyone for a while.

 

[tussive]

Since 2015 I have had sex one time. It was a Craigstlist threesome that went horribly, I was mid-DXM and Adderall binge, so I barely even count it. So pretty much eight years. I don't really desire sex much, just not my thing, so it doesn't really bother me in the least. I could happily go the rest of my life without sex.

 

[Snafu in the Void]

Almost 5 years now. During my psychosis my then gf dumped me. After recovering I did not feel like seeking another relationship for various reasons, and over the last decade my sex drive has dwindled to becoming almost non-existent.

 

[S.J.B.]

About a year. In my defence, I was under house arrest for most of it.

 

[w01fg4ng]

If sex = gender, y'all are some serious trans cases

 

[crazyhairman]

With another person? A year I think.

Now if you claim masterbation, it would be a week

 

[axe battler]

I feel for you mate. You might surprise yourself though. What about trying activities that are totally sober after you're feeling better? Even if it's NA/AA meetings, but you could try taking a class or whatever - something you're interested in - that involves socialising.
I understand wanting to be reclusive when you're getting clean but it isn't sustainable long term as you'll get bored and lonely eventually and relapse. Or that's what I do anyway...
@HumanityIsTheDevil

 

[axe battler]

NA and AA are absolutely horrible. I do volunteer work a few times a week where i chat about everyday shit with my co-workers. Other than that, i have no hobbies or interests. I used to play music and write lyrics, but i quit and i now consider myself a failure as an artist. If it don't make dollars, it don't make sense.

Why bother, when my plan right now is to get sober so i can pay off my debts, then go to the shooting range and blow my brains out?

Pay off your debts then blow your brains out? I've never heard that plan before.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Several years and I went a bit insane.

 

[SpiralusSancti]

I have a strong sense of responsibility, and carry a lot of guilt for being such a charity case and downright mooching off people. I want to get my affairs in order before i press fast forward on this boring movie. And going to the range requires money anyway. Money i don't have if i continue to drink.

This has nothing to do w/ the original topic tho.

Dude wtf?

I don’t want to get banned again for suggesting something to you. But isn’t there like a lot of things better for the brain than a bullet?

You should undo all your bad deeds or whatever but after that don’t check out damn. First at least check out here and consider other options.

 

[SpiralusSancti]

Several years and I went a bit insane.

I have feeling if I would went for several years without sex after that it wouldn’t matter few more, but would also in a sense get insane. Insaneception

Like I’m getting stronger and stronger urges right now but at the same time got to watch out for venomous pussies or is it toxic, forgot how she works lol

And when I clear out my body some more out of toxins I know next round will be better than last, that more or less reminded me of physical sensations but wasn’t really something to write about, still I had to inform whole BL lol

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

And when I clear out my body some more out of toxins I know next round will be better than last

I groan with resignation anytime people throw around the generic word 'toxins' like that. It's vague as shit and absolutely meaningless in any scientific sense.

Literally ANYTHING can be a 'toxin' if you ingest it in a higher amount than your body can handle, including bloody WATER. Whatever your body doesn't like or has a surplus of via your diet will be excreted so long as you have a functioning liver and kidneys. Acute actual poisoning is going to lead to a crisis that'll land you in the ER pretty sharpish.

 

[SpiralusSancti]

I groan with resignation anytime people throw around the generic word 'toxins' like that. It's vague as shit and absolutely meaningless in any scientific sense.

Literally ANYTHING can be a 'toxin' if you ingest it in a higher amount than your body can handle, including bloody WATER. Whatever your body doesn't like or has a surplus of via your diet will be excreted so long as you have a functioning liver and kidneys. Acute actual poisoning is going to lead to a crisis that'll land you in the ER pretty sharpish.

Oh I didn’t mean to offend you and provoke hate. I mean toxins as not broad definition of that word, I don’t mean gluten or too much water.

Btw. since you say old dose-makes-a-poison, did you know toulen was investigated as antidepressant, it somewhat works but it’s pretty toxic even at very low ppm.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

i sometimes have phases where i become a complete recluse for a long time. This is usually when i'm trying to get sober.

i'm presently heavily cutting down on socializing to avoid relapsing into drinking

Man I'm truly sorry to hear but seriously, you got this SO arse-backwards; and whoever is trying to 'help' you isn't doing you ANY damn favours.

You've been heavily and routinely associating 2 seperate things to the point where you can't even tell the difference anymore; that much is obvious.

I'm mostly on here speaking from my experience as a heroin addict, but I've also had a not-insignificant problem with alcohol.

I started off liking alcohol right from my first drink; I've also always loved music. A few key enjoyable events when I was young involved both alcohol and music (pretty routine experience), and my mind just started to blend all that together.
Alcohol + music = pleasure.

It got to the point over the years where I couldn't even derive enjoyment from one without the other. Anytime I had a drink I would want to be listening to music (increasingly on my own). Whenever I listened to music I'd feel compelled to also drink. It took me over a year to train myself out of that automatic thought habit and mindless association.

What I'm trying to tell you here is DON'T avoid A because you've conditioned yourself it will somehow 'cause' B. That way of thinking just forever re-enforces the link. Try to consciously SEPERATE the link so that A will no longer equal B, and you can learn to appreciate one without the other again.

NA and AA are absolutely horrible.

Yup.

I used to play music and write lyrics, but i quit and i now consider myself a failure as an artist. If it don't make dollars, it don't make sense.

WTF?!

creative work is a joy in itself and a wonderful thing of human expression ; it needs no financial 'validation' to have worth. FFS most of what makes money in today's world is meaningless crap.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Btw. since you say old dose-makes-a-poison,

The dose literally DOES make the poison. That's not somehow outdated as you're seeming to imply, that's a simple fact.

did you know toulen was investigated as antidepressant, it somewhat works but it’s pretty toxic even at very low ppm.

I've never heard of 'toulen' but if this is indeed the case, that in no way invalidates that basic premise. It would merely mean this compound may have some beneficial effects, but the general ADVERSE effects make it not worth taking.

PS the general degree of 'toxicity' of any given substance (as specific to humans) is measured by how much of it our bodies can tolerate without experiencing said adverse effects.

 

[SpiralusSancti]

The dose literally DOES make the poison. That's not somehow outdated as you're seeming to imply, that's a simple fact.

I've never heard of 'toulen' but if this is indeed the case, that in no way invalidates that basic premise. It would merely mean this compound may have some beneficial effects, but the general ADVERSE effects make it not worth taking.

I just wrote a pretty good example, didn’t said say what you wrote is bs just as overused and not understood as word toxin. Some stuff is not poison in 0 amount, might not harm you in minuscule amounts but still might even in such minuscule amounts cumulatively, great example are many toxic salts of certain metals. Some are even sweet but still not poison only in 0 amount.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I just wrote a pretty good example, didn’t said say what you wrote is bs just as overused and not understood as word toxin. Some stuff is not poison in 0 amount, might not harm you in minuscule amounts but still might even in such minuscule amounts cumulatively, great example are many toxic salts of certain metals. Some are even sweet but still not poison only in 0 amount.

So we basically agree -?

Sure ; cumulative poisoning is a thing.


To make it clear, my only objection is to the way people tend to use the word 'toxin' nowadays in a way that's nothing to do with any physical or chemical reality, but merely some unspecified catch-all woo concept.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Completely off-topic:



I get the Pavlovian concept, but for me the pairing was always more music and weed. I still listen to music and smoke weed. I'll even do one without the other.

I don't spend as much time listening to music now. A few tracks here and there. Very rarely an entire album.

But this decline in interest has been going on for years, which i've mostly spent drinking and drugging. People change.



100% agreed, but not relevant to my decision to quit pretending to be an artist. I used to love making underground music with no regard to the time, energy and money i invested in it. Opportunistic artists too eager for money and fame annoyed me to no end. They still would if i actually gave a damn.

Played guitar for 25 or so years with a hiatus here or there due to alcoholism and homelessness among other things. I spent most of my free time with a guitar in my hands as a teen. I can hold my own as a player (one thing that makes quitting easier is that it's not terminal, i've had no interest in developing as a player for years but i neither regress all that much if i put it down for even extended times.) but was always more interested in writing.

Problem is, when i listen to the bands i played with and especially the shit i wrote, i literally regret ever playing/writing that shit. I don't care for the style of music i used to play anymore, and it's the only style i'm confident playing because i know the idiom well. I also realize i was never much of a writer and wish my weak shit never got released.

My lyrics were a bit more decent, but too much in line with the style i used to play to really be of much use anywhere else. Got two offers from people who would like to make music to my lyrics, but ended up declining both.

I could play guitar or bass or even scream for a band with someone else doing the writing, but i hate performing live. I'll play for a studio project if they'll have me, but i'm not interested in actively seeking out a band or musicians. I considered musicians an annoying bunch even back when i was one.

I recently sold my last guitar to a former bandmate after having it gather dust for months. I felt relieved that i am no longer wasting time, energy or money on a thing i lost the passion for years ago. Kinda like being glad to be single again.

Music used to be an obsession for me (as both fan and wannabe artist) and i now realize it was an unhealthy one. There is more to life than geeking out over music when you're not 16 anymore. I just feel it's time for me to either figure out something more useful to do or stop wasting oxygen.

I kinda get what you're saying, but also not quite. Like ok you're not into the particular style of music you used to enjoy way back when anymore. Fine. But you still seem to be enjoying music per se -?

I'm struggling to fit my head round the concept of how anything is a waste of time and energy etc if you are enjoying it. Ok if you focused on it in single-minded way when you were younger then sure, by all means broaden your horizons. But swearing off making music completely seems like throwing out the proverbial baby with the bathwater. You also seem to be implying that doing music is somehow inherently immature or wasteful when I'd consider it one of the most advanced traits of our species.