Lucy, my darling girl, you really, really shouldn't have to be either worrying about medication, or being in unbearable pain in this day and age! It seems to me that most doctors and GP's are generally rather ignorant on the subject of pain, and are more concerned with 'avoiding addiction' than providing comfort and freedom from agony for their patients. There are specialists fortunately, who will help you to manage your pain with care and compassion - and if that means being dependent or reliant on addictive drugs, will take that into account, and make sure you are never deprived of them. It makes me very annoyed, this paranoia about 'addiction' - nobody ever criticises a person suffering from diabetes, say, for being reliant (or addicted) to a daily dose of insulin. Nor someone reliant on drugs to control thie blood pressure or faulty hearts, to keep them alive, day by day. I myself am absolutely and irrevocably 'addicted' to amphetamines, in order to have any sort of worthwhile, bearable and useful life, free from soul destrying depression and crushing exhaustion.
Don't despair, or be afraid - expert help is out there for you somewhere. I just wish the same could be said for me ... moan... drone... but so be it! Good luck, healing thoughts and love XXXXX