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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Update on opiate journey..........

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all i know is its gonna be hard to get off the benzos even as i do go up on the methadone. even if i was noddin off the Done and i stopped my klonopin id still be goin thru bez withdrawl, right ?
 
You have only been taking benzos for what, 3 months? You wont really feel to much discomfort and most likely you will be feeling good off the methadone so it will be tolerable. Methadone and benzo addiction is like the worst case for addiction imo.

peace.
seedless
 
ive read alot of your post in the past jake and i can tell that me and you are a lot alike...i started using opiates when i was 20 and started because of my depression and social anxiety and i can never pitcher myself clean... opiates help me so much for about the first 6 months of use but as the years go by im sick of running and i cant see myself finishing this race... i remember my life clean but i cant ever picture it again like that.... my whole life is now dedicated to hustling for my next fix ...ive been addicted for almost 4 years a long 4 years.. when my bestfriend died in a car crash i said to myself i have to get better ..so what happens i end up picking up the needle and were im from there isnt any dope around and im shooting 10-20 roxi 30s a day at about aa dollar mg... now i could afford my habit but i would fucking shoplift food to eat ( how fucking stupid is that).. i think its my anxiety/depression and fear of change that i will never get better... i am better then i was but thats cause i moved to a dif state but i still manage to find connect to pills... i have to sniff atleast 120mg of Opana just to feel well its ridiculous if i think about how much money has been wasted in the past 4 years

just the other day i took 16mg of suboxone still felt like shit and went out and spent 150$ to try to get high when i KNEW i wouldnt and knowing that i would have to try the subs the next day again all over.... its all a head thing with me the longest i ever been clean was 28 days on my own and lost 42 pounds cause i was so sick ...other times at detoxes 2 of them had to send me to the ER cause i was so sick... the thing is i can get threw that and it fucking sucks but i cant get past the fact that i have to think to myself ""I will never do opiates again"" i just cant see it happening so i think to myself fuck it theres no way ill stay clean , its all negative thinking...even though i lost everything i still do what i do...

sorry for rambaling i just know how you real man ... i feel like you just like me you dont understand why you keep using even though you kno life would be better without them and i just cant stop ....im sick of being sick i think ill be trying to get in a clinic soon but who knows

but i hope you the best and seems like your in the right direction... hope to see another update saying your clean

oh i didn't realize there was 5 pages i only read the first page..... hope the clinic works out with you but you got to chill with the benzo's that is one thing they don't want to see on a piss test
 
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yea im gonna try cuttin down the klonopins but maybe 1-2 mg a day then just 1 mg then .5
 
^ ok, why not stick to this? i've read ton of threads, and most people under a year on benzos are able to quit with zero physical symptoms. mental urges, that's another story. but like everyone has said, the more than comfortable nod of 'done will help with that.

tapering is to eliminate physical symptoms, not mental ones. because tapering tends to lengthen the time of WD, it's not the best method in your case. just gives you more time to psyche yourself out... but a short taper might work.

30roxi30, my heart goes out to you. you don't have to be like jake. i hope you find some help with the underlying emotional issues. you need to find some love. makes me so sad...
 
I don't even understand why you're taking benzos when you're overdosing on methadone. It's not like you're experiencing any anxiety while on the methadone right? You're just using it to potentiate your high? I don't think it's a good idea.. If I were you I would stop using benzos immediately and get into the habit of sticking to the methadone, not copping on the streets. Once you've changed your lifestyle enough you'll be able to taper down and then switch to bupe and eventually go cold turkey.
 
habit of sticking to the methadone, not copping on the streets. Once you've changed your lifestyle

IM NOT COPPING ANYTHING ON THE STREET. MY KLONOIN IS PRESCRIBED BY MY DR. SO BEFOE YOU MAKE STATEMENTS KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT !

So if i have been on 3 mg a day of klonopin 3-4 months and i stop cold turkey i wont get withdrawal ? sure the Methadone will help kill some with drawal but i think i will take 1 mg klonopin today , and maybe 1 mg tmrw , then .5 mg for 2 days then try to stop
 
I meant copping dope off the street. Methadone is really just a replacement for heroin... you should probably try to eventually either get off or switch to suboxone.. unless for reason it'll be detrimental to your recovery.
 
jake99 said:
i tried suboxone it didnt help . methadone stops my cravings way bette
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does it stop cravings or getting you high... not trying to b a dick at all but i seen that you wrote that you nod all day of your doses...if you want better i dont think building a tolerance to methadone is going to help unless you take a dose that keeps you from withdrawal but not nodding
 
i dont know . they say 80 is a Blocking dose................i think its the benzo that are makin me nod. if i stop them i wont nod as much i think. and i have to stop them anyway or u get thrown off the clinic
 
so jake... have you TRIED stopping the benzos? I keep reading how you will(i am looking at the dates of your posts, and you've been saying this for at least 3 or 4 days in a row), but I am curious to know how you will FEEL when lowering your dose(it doesn't seem like you have yet... please correct me if I am wrong :) ) ..
I don't think you've even felt anything from a "taper" yet since you haven't done it!

I am saying this in favor of you jake- I think you might be worrying too much [haha not unusual for you sweetie!] about how the benzo withdrawal might feel without even any experience with it! I personally think you will be just fine! 3 months on benzos.. not saying it will be a piece of cake- but you are just so lucky with the MMT situation you have [take homes and free!] and I believe you have the perfect opportunity to do this! I know you want your freedom from substances back, and I think you can do it, just be as proactive as you can as opposed to overthinking the minute things!
 
yeah true. i lowered the k pin to 2.5 yesterday . was going to try just 1or 2 mg but i can go for that today
 
am i going to fast . went from 3 to 2 for 2 days then 1.5 mg today so far................i think ill be ok .
 
" does it stop cravings or getting you high... not trying to b a dick at all but i seen that you wrote that you nod all day of your doses...if you want better i dont think building a tolerance to methadone is going to help unless you take a dose that keeps you from withdrawal but not nodding "


IMO who cares either way, the main thing is staying of the heroin and just taking methadone. i allways think its not good advice warning people off methadone as the stats for addicts who can stay off opiates without maintanance is extremely low. methadone maint. is jakes best shot at a reasonable productive life in the near future imo. give up the benzos when you feel stronger, one thing at a time imo
 
@jake, is the clinic forcing you to give up the benzo's then? if so doing this when youve just started maintenance is disgraceful imo ,surely you have your hands full dealing with the one monkey
 
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