deadmau
Bluelighter
Hey all. Long time lurker small time poster, but I do enjoy lots of your threads fellow BLers so I will reach out now for some help.
Some background about my habit: I have had an opiate habit with my gf for the past 1 year 6 months. Its still going strong and up to about 100mgs a day. Probably been this way for a month or 2, still get off on 80s but they're becoming less noticeable. This weekend especially I had an open house, so much was ingested, probably 200mgs a day. That was 3 days ago, I'm back to an 80 a day but I'm ready to be done.
Some background on me: I'm 23, have a girlfriend who I spend every day and every night with, she lives with me at my mom's house and have been dating for 2 years in September. We both graduated college, me this year, and her last year, and now both work amazing jobs but we realize that no matter how good the jobs are we won't be able to get on our own with this habit. I feel like the chemistry in my brain is off, like I can't have fun without them, I feel not normal, I look at people and wonder how they can have fun and do such things while not high..I want to be like them again..with that said
The reason for quitting is money, they aren't fun anymore I more or less "need" them and I'm done with it.
I need to find the motivation, I have 3 subs and 2 80s, I'm gonna do a taper with a schedule like this and I am very scared, I have searched tons of stories read all the WD threads but I still can't shake how scared I am.
Day 1 (5/1): 80op before work at 7am
Day 2 (5/2): 80op before work at 7am
Day 3 (5/3): 4mg sub before work at 7am
Day 4 (5/4): 4mg sub when I wake up.
Day 5-9 (5/5-5/9) 2mg sub when I wake up.
I'm a pothead to so I'm hoping this eases the WDs with the sub (take away the stomach pain and let me sleep)
(I'm hoping I don't fold and double dip on the subs and the 80s are just to make me feel normal at my brand new job until the weekend)
Here's hoping I make it, if anyone has any questions on anything I haven't covered feel free to ask. Please refrain from trolling me as I know I did this to myself, ignored the warning signs, I get what I did to myself and now I'm going to try to get out. Your support is very welcome though.
Some background about my habit: I have had an opiate habit with my gf for the past 1 year 6 months. Its still going strong and up to about 100mgs a day. Probably been this way for a month or 2, still get off on 80s but they're becoming less noticeable. This weekend especially I had an open house, so much was ingested, probably 200mgs a day. That was 3 days ago, I'm back to an 80 a day but I'm ready to be done.
Some background on me: I'm 23, have a girlfriend who I spend every day and every night with, she lives with me at my mom's house and have been dating for 2 years in September. We both graduated college, me this year, and her last year, and now both work amazing jobs but we realize that no matter how good the jobs are we won't be able to get on our own with this habit. I feel like the chemistry in my brain is off, like I can't have fun without them, I feel not normal, I look at people and wonder how they can have fun and do such things while not high..I want to be like them again..with that said
The reason for quitting is money, they aren't fun anymore I more or less "need" them and I'm done with it.
I need to find the motivation, I have 3 subs and 2 80s, I'm gonna do a taper with a schedule like this and I am very scared, I have searched tons of stories read all the WD threads but I still can't shake how scared I am.
Day 1 (5/1): 80op before work at 7am
Day 2 (5/2): 80op before work at 7am
Day 3 (5/3): 4mg sub before work at 7am
Day 4 (5/4): 4mg sub when I wake up.
Day 5-9 (5/5-5/9) 2mg sub when I wake up.
I'm a pothead to so I'm hoping this eases the WDs with the sub (take away the stomach pain and let me sleep)
(I'm hoping I don't fold and double dip on the subs and the 80s are just to make me feel normal at my brand new job until the weekend)
Here's hoping I make it, if anyone has any questions on anything I haven't covered feel free to ask. Please refrain from trolling me as I know I did this to myself, ignored the warning signs, I get what I did to myself and now I'm going to try to get out. Your support is very welcome though.
