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Opioids Tried to kill myself now I got no tablets

Hezman94

Hezman94

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 19, 2018
Messages
1,133
Location
insanity
AHH in so pissed off I took cocaine last night and all Io did was have a fuckin madturbston session anknandbwatchbporn
O hope my doctor in tommorow j took 160mg times five frslushed zomorph till no balls last I had an emergency appointment and then I fell asleep I also took fifty mgndiazrpam and about 2gram of pregabalin and a cannot strong cider 4units
I'm going to ask to have my morphine on a daily script or twice a week
I'm so tempted to inject these two zomotphd I found
I plugged 100mg I felt notnducicfial until now I got no money till Friday if indontngetn a script I'm gonna have to buy a small weight of heroin I also took 125mg hydroxyzine
 
I'm actually pretty chilled out as I'm gonna jump off as hridgenespecisllynid into into a rsttl I owe money for outbi can afford to pay it but it money that could of g ok be on weed and CBD.
I wrote a suicide note and everything I took them after two slices of toast not a full stomach.
The thing is I can handle 60mg methadone or need 20mg t ok stop withdrawals for 12houtz
 
Why the fuck did I do this FFS and my Dr offered me an appointment and I fell asleep and woke up bang on six thirty when they close takes piss.
Got no diazepam pregabs or morphines how can I get them to switch me to all dihydrocodeine as my practice never. Offer it yet it works good for me when tried in past.
I'm gonna ask to collect my script twice weekly they know every couple year I try this twice this year but I blame the cocaine I only do t want to die cod I'm still high from earlier.
I can't do five days cold turkey I got two sixty mg tabs I saved incase I survived and a says worth of diazepam andnpregab
 
I'll go through a rattle if I got something and that'sa Wesker drub dhc is codeine is worthless at 60mg max dose I d cicked
 
I just wanted to say I'm sorry ur going thru this! Can you get some kratom? I took my whole benzo script and kratom helps me chillax ..be well my friend
 
What are you trying to get away from, @Hezman94 ? It's always massive amounts of * . Not on the offense just kinda worried aboutcha, bro.
Only time I do high dose of anything is to escape for a second the demanding surroundings. I get wanting to escape for reals but would love to know why....
Nothing but love and respect. I have that need to know shit going on since birth. Can be an issue at times but knowledge may offer wisdom after it matures... or destruction.
Holla back before you leave. I'm around most of my free time and hope to know what grieves you.
Peace
 
Fact jumping off a bridge is one of the most painful ways to die btw, you hit the water like cement except its water, so essentially the force at which you hit the water, ruptures all of your organs and you probably would survive and drown/die as a result of blunt trauma to all of your insides, please don't commit suicide, i've been in your shoes, if you're not sick and can scrub together alittle money get yourself a bottle of rum you might eventually get sick, but the rum'll help you'll still be extraordinarily anxious, probably fucking irritated every moment till you can manage a refill, but i can tell you you'll survive riding it out man, especially if you're getting $ friday, take the edge off with the H use smaller doses for the wd till you can fill a script but be smart about it, i believe in yah
 
Hope you are okay Hezman?
.. your life is worth so much more than you are able to see at the moment.. please be kind to yourself.. and post an update when you can ..
 
I hope you are okay too bro.

I have been there. I’m sorry you are feeling so low.
we are here for you if you want to talk about it.
 
If you are dreading withdrawal so much as to want to kill yourself, why don't you just take a big dose of Imodium (Loperamide is the name of the substance)? It's an opiate that doesn't have psychoactive effects normally and it's known to help keep withdrawals at bay if taken in a high enough dosage for your tolerance.
It's like a poor man's methadone more or less. What's good about it is that it's OTC so you can get it without problems and it's cheap.

It lasts a long time so you can take it once a day and it won't get you high but it will help you get to your next script without suffering too much. Don't take it to get high and make a habit of it because in high dosages and when taken regularly it is cardiotoxic. It's just as an emergency thing.

Lots of threads about it on here so have a look. You don't need to kill yourself because of this. Or even poppy seed tea could help you... everything is better than killing yourself.
 
I've been in your position mate.

I have to second @PtahTek in asking what it is you are trying to escape from?

When I tried to off myself last time it's because I was depressed with my shitty job and felt trapped. I went to a million interviews but couldn't get anything better than a job in retail. I got mad depressed and necked oxy and a combo of benzos mostly Xanax. All that happened is I slept for 12 hours and felt like shit the next day. Also coughed up a lot of phlegm for some reason. But the point is I still didn't die.

ODing is one of the least successful suicide methods around even on strong prescription drugs, especially once you have a tolerance. So all I did is what you did - waste my drugs.

But I'm glad that's all I did because drugs can be replaced but my life can't and withdrawal is ultimately just temporary discomfort - in my case I was in withdrawal on a plane with only four Paramols and 10mg diazepam to tide me over, stuck in an economy class plane for hours while on the edge of a rattle the whole time, because I tried to do this on holiday.

At the end of it all I am very happy to still be alive today. I eventually did get a better job and I am much happier with where I am in my life now. I no longer feel any desire to end it.

Whatever is happening to you to make you feel so depressed, you can overcome it. But you need to be willing to admit you need help then accept that help first.

You surely have reasons to live and people who care about you, and I'm sure they hate to see you like this. What really brought me back was my mum telling me how sad she was seeing that she was losing me to the pills. Like I became a zombie and lost my personality. That's what popping handfuls of benzos like they're sweets will do to you. Now I just stick to my clonazepam script and am doing much better. Ironically I'm still doing oxy but that seems to be the less noticeable drug as long as I keep it below nodding doses. I am gonna taper off it though, got a few strips of DHC and a load of kratom for the job.
 
Hey Hez,

how is it going? Did you get your refill?
just checking in on you.

I hope you are alright and did not go through too much discomfort.
❤️
 
I don't know if I just have an honest face but i used to "loose" my meds on air flights, dropped on the bathtub floor, left in a cab..
Get creative and dress nicely, you would be surprised how easy it was getting pills dressed in a suit. Look like you got money and a good story should work .
Good luck
 
I'm on daily pickup till I see my own go he will put me on twice weekly was a stupid thing cocaine and mood disorders do not mix i was high for two days didn't bother going doctor the next day bit annoying going to the chemist everyday
 
I've done this (took all my meds in a suicide attempt) multiple times. IME, if you're just honest with your doctor, they should give you more meds. Mine does anyway. Although, when I did it with my Phenobarbital, they took it off me and I never got it back (which I was devastated about as I really loved it) but that might be more because a) I was in a coma for several days so they didn't wanna risk or or b) I lied to get the prescription in the first place (I told them I'd seen a neurologist who prescribed it and told me to get it regularly from my GP after that and my GP just gave it to me without checking up on it).
 
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