So what are you thinking you might do Jake?
Your probably running low on meds, at least that is what it sounds like. Did you ditch your sub doctor or do you have a appointment date that you could go back and score more? Or are you high right now with dope in your pocket and body? The positive thing is that you are seeking a method to try and get clean. Just having that seed in your head is a big obstacle you have already cleared. Now you just have to wait for the seed to grow or let it lay dormant for awhile.
There is really no right, wrong, or definite manner to get clean. I take it you haven't been going to NA meetings you were talking about awhile back. Just go there and dont worry about what anybody says just explain what you are going thru. Get it out, talk about it. Sometimes just talking about 'things' lets me hear my voice out loud and sometimes I will stop when I am saying something and realize, man wtf am I talking about. I dont know.
I know I kinda wanted to get clean for a long time but I just had to grow out of that cycle of opiate abuse. Like I have said before it took me a couple of years on bupe before I put down the needle, than many more years to just acclimate myself to maintenance. Finally I think I was just plagued by always having to have pills on me all the time and decided to get off bupe. That was a long process also but I did it and man things are really starting to feel great clean. Trust me coming from me that is saying a lot.
I cant really say what really helped me though, the biggest thing like I mentioned was just growing up. My family are huge enablers [I still dont work, andget handed money when ever I want it, I dont even buy my own tobacco products or food or shit anything]. Changing that is the next step for me which is going to be eye opening, to say the least. Nobody has pushed me to do that either which is strange at times but it is a godsend. My family has ALWAYS let me take my own course with addiction and would try to steer me in the right direction but never by ultimatums or forcing me.
Get back on the subs, stabilize [how ever long it takes], get around some positive people [no matter how stupid they sound], try to do something daily to benefit your addiction [meetings/talking/something]. Dont worry about 'getting clean' just stabilize yourself for a few weeks where you dont use heroin. Than think about getting clean and what might work. I dont know rambled way too long.
peace.
seedless
Your probably running low on meds, at least that is what it sounds like. Did you ditch your sub doctor or do you have a appointment date that you could go back and score more? Or are you high right now with dope in your pocket and body? The positive thing is that you are seeking a method to try and get clean. Just having that seed in your head is a big obstacle you have already cleared. Now you just have to wait for the seed to grow or let it lay dormant for awhile.
There is really no right, wrong, or definite manner to get clean. I take it you haven't been going to NA meetings you were talking about awhile back. Just go there and dont worry about what anybody says just explain what you are going thru. Get it out, talk about it. Sometimes just talking about 'things' lets me hear my voice out loud and sometimes I will stop when I am saying something and realize, man wtf am I talking about. I dont know.
I know I kinda wanted to get clean for a long time but I just had to grow out of that cycle of opiate abuse. Like I have said before it took me a couple of years on bupe before I put down the needle, than many more years to just acclimate myself to maintenance. Finally I think I was just plagued by always having to have pills on me all the time and decided to get off bupe. That was a long process also but I did it and man things are really starting to feel great clean. Trust me coming from me that is saying a lot.
I cant really say what really helped me though, the biggest thing like I mentioned was just growing up. My family are huge enablers [I still dont work, andget handed money when ever I want it, I dont even buy my own tobacco products or food or shit anything]. Changing that is the next step for me which is going to be eye opening, to say the least. Nobody has pushed me to do that either which is strange at times but it is a godsend. My family has ALWAYS let me take my own course with addiction and would try to steer me in the right direction but never by ultimatums or forcing me.
Get back on the subs, stabilize [how ever long it takes], get around some positive people [no matter how stupid they sound], try to do something daily to benefit your addiction [meetings/talking/something]. Dont worry about 'getting clean' just stabilize yourself for a few weeks where you dont use heroin. Than think about getting clean and what might work. I dont know rambled way too long.
peace.
seedless
