took sub this morning, copped H this afternoon . WTF?

If the hospital medicates you correctly you won't even feel like your detoxing one bit. But because hospitals deal with drug addicts day in and day out theres a good chance you WILL be undermedicated.

With that said, I will take this conversation to pm.
 
the detox in ac is 3 days of methadone and ativan . how will that even help ? id get out and still be sick
 
Yeh thats prob that particular detoxes lame way of treating wds. I know my detox refused to give any opiates other than darvocet (300mg being the highest per dose). And in detox it was't really the darvs that did anything.
I think at one point on the first day I had 12 meds on my list that drs were allowed to give me, although most days I only got like half of those meds. They also played with my meds everyday which kind of pissed me off. I had never taken ativan before untill detox and the night they gave me 2mgs, along with 4mgs klonopin, like 50mg viserol, 500mg seroquel, and 150mcgs of clonidine, ALL mainly just for sleep. I remember watching tv in the group room, attempting to stand up... falling on the floor and vomiting everywhere. I had felt so nautious from the overwhelming sedation all the contents of my stomach came exploding out. I remember vaguely taking a shower with 2 staff members holding my body up, and after that I was out for like 16 hours straight.
Detox is FUNNY when you go there. You will never see so many people doped up on so many random meds in your life. I remember one girl was so high on w/e they were giving her (was bipolar) she took her clothes off and egged the staff on to chase her around the dining room (padded dining room lol) in her underwear. Well it was also a psychward too so I guess that stuff happens a lot. She was actually pretty good looking to which is the only reason I remember.
 
Detox is FUNNY when you go there. You will never see so many people doped up on so many random meds in your life. I remember one girl was so high on w/e they were giving her (was bipolar) she took her clothes off and egged the staff on to chase her around the dining room (padded dining room lol) in her underwear. Well it was also a psychward too so I guess that stuff happens a lot. She was actually pretty good looking to which is the only reason I remember.

Wow sounds like I missed out on all the fun, I should have went to a detox center rather than detox myself, lol.

On a more serious note, that's a lot of meds they gave you Bo. Sounds pretty excessive but I guess I wouldn't complain if I got to sleep for 16 hours while in withdrawal.

As for Jake, I don't know what to possibly tell you to get you to quit. All I can say is that you have to want to do it. It's a challenge, no doubt. It takes time to reap the rewards of a life clean from opiates, but you'll never get the chance to experience it if you don't get some serious clean time. Good luck man.
 
im just trying to figure out where im at with all this. i first tried kickin with methadone but just got high on it ...........then this week i made it 2 days on subs 8 mg , and i hadnt done sub in a while............then i messed up and did D the next day , then i made it 2 more days on 4 mg sub , now i all i have left is 2 mg i took this morning. im also trying to wean klonopin and having trouble getting under 2 mg a day . but only have 12 or so left 1 mg ones
 
Get a job man. No offense, but you have finally abused your parents to the point in where they want to cut you off (This happened to me as well.)

You need a job. So you must quit for your JOBS sake. You need to get out of bed so you are a self reliant person. Stop being co-dependent on your parents. You will feel significantly better if you are self earning and self rewarding. If you can hold an income, grades, and all your expenses, your parents will stop breathing down your back and you will actually feel GOOD about yourself!

But, in order to do this you need to quit doing heroin. In my honest opinion, I would take 7 days off, say something drastic has come up in your family (so you may skip work/school) and just DETOX! Give your boss and teachers a great excuse (family emergency or something of the sort).

Make sure you have enough benzos to come down off of without dieing... But not so many that you are going to still be addicted to benzos after that week.

The hardest thing that you will ever do is not the detoxing.

If you happen to make it out of that hellish week of detox, your true battle will start by trying to stay away from the dope.

I honestly do not think that a person who is this far down the drug road can successfully beat the addiction without primary treatment or a COMPLETELY different environment.

I am sorry that I am being a debbie downer, but you need to really try your hardest if you want this. And you must WANT it! Good luck.
 
I think the hospital detox is a fantastic idea. I had a really painless detox for heroin in the dual diagnosis ward of my local hospital I got benzos and darvocet plus like a handful of other random pills but there is something really comforting about detoxing with lots of other people who are in the same or even worse shape then you. The best part is once you leave you are done with the physical part and you can work on putting your life back together.
 
^ Are your parents going to be more hurt by you admiting you need help with a problem, or will they be more hurt when you go back to prison, or wind up dead ?

Theres no reason you can't get your degree after you clean up. School will always be there. You can always finish when your life is together. I'm not saying stop school because you need to get straight, it could potentially be done while getting clean.. but you really need to prioritize my man.

Totally agree. And Jake, you said it yourself. You do not think you can do it on your own. And you know what? This is being completley honest with yourself. Think about what would happen if you died or crashed into someone and killed them from too much dope? Bro, life is so much sweeter w/o nods. And you are so close to your associates degree? It's not like your credits reset if you take a break from school. You can ALWAYS go back.
 
Get a job man. No offense, but you have finally abused your parents to the point in where they want to cut you off (This happened to me as well.)

You need a job. So you must quit for your JOBS sake. You need to get out of bed so you are a self reliant person. Stop being co-dependent on your parents. You will feel significantly better if you are self earning and self rewarding. If you can hold an income, grades, and all your expenses, your parents will stop breathing down your back and you will actually feel GOOD about yourself!

But, in order to do this you need to quit doing heroin. In my honest opinion, I would take 7 days off, say something drastic has come up in your family (so you may skip work/school) and just DETOX! Give your boss and teachers a great excuse (family emergency or something of the sort).

Make sure you have enough benzos to come down off of without dieing... But not so many that you are going to still be addicted to benzos after that week.

The hardest thing that you will ever do is not the detoxing.

If you happen to make it out of that hellish week of detox, your true battle will start by trying to stay away from the dope.

I honestly do not think that a person who is this far down the drug road can successfully beat the addiction without primary treatment or a COMPLETELY different environment.

I am sorry that I am being a debbie downer, but you need to really try your hardest if you want this. And you must WANT it! Good luck.

I have to say in Jakes credit for MOST of the time I've known him he's seemed like a hard ass worker.
The kid has lost I think more than multiple jobs, and always had a new one within a few weeks. I honestly couldn't tell you how he finds jobs so quick. Because up in Central Jersey where its more populated, it can be hard as shit to find a job just working at Mickey Ds.

But I want to elaborate on that a bit further. EVEN IF he gets a job that doesn't mean he will be "independent". Well really he won't be independent if half his money is going to drugs no matter what. But as bad a sitution Jake might seem in, I've always been surprised at how fast he DOES get up and go get a job.
So I give the kid a ton of credit in that aspect.
Whats likely to happen is he will have to take the first job he comes accross, which is going to pay shit, and not really get him anywhere but maintaining. I think once he gets his degree and starts to build a career than he'll have much better chance at independence.

I still agree 100% that being self reliant can make a massive difference to ones identity and how the percieve themself. I can also give you a lot of control you never knew you had. But I don't see Jake being a lazy kid in the first place, so I can't tell him to just go "be independent". Theres addicts and nonaddicts alike they aren't independent due to reasons out of their control. Well the true realm of control would be debatable. But I'm just saying his addiction should come first before independence as always.

Whats likely to happen is at some point his parents will find out anyway, and they are just gonna cut him off regardless. So getting clean now becomes that much more important.
I'm rather curious where hes getting his "last $60" though if hes not working. Jake are you out of work 100% right now?

That would scare the living fuck out of me if I was still using personally. I would have prob freaked out weeks ago and gone cold turkey just out of fear alone.
 
bo I am not working , and i have my last paycheck which i have to put towards a traffic ticket in philly so no warrant goes out and to finish buying school books which i obviously blew money on . i took a sub 2 mg this morning , have 2 mg left, feel real crappy. may get another 4 mg sub from a friend later. took 1 mg clonopin this morning have about 11 left,. cant fill another script for them for about 2 weeks so im buggin bad.............made it to class but now its like everythings catching up to me and im feeling pain of my bad decisions...........plus fact of how worried i am dad says he is cutting me off in 2 months from now when and if i get my degree (last 3 classes i just started) thinkin if doin the 3 day detox if i can get in hospital and do it over weekend to not miss classes
 
^^^
3 days isnt long enough you need a week for the opiates alone IME. The benzos are what is gonna fuck you though can you not see that this is getting worse? Your speeding towards destruction bro and I think it may be too late to find the brakes by yourself at this point. But im done telling you that shit cause your gonna do what you wanna do. goodluck
 
Thats a rough situation. I personally in no way could make it to school when I was trying to get off pods a while back.
I remember trying to taper before finals, which was one of the STUPIDEST decisions I ever made because I wound up stressing myself out to the point of an attempted suicide. And at that point I was forced to take a leave of absence atlhough my school DID help me a ton. I'm wondering what would happen if you went to your schools drug and alcohol counselor and asked for help. They were the ones who initially called my parents and had this weird way of explaining it so my parents were supportive about it.

My parents didn't cut me off after that experience but they decided it would be best if I moved out, which is when I actually moved out on my own with my brother. But because I don't make enough money for loans (school) fines (prison) rent, food insurance and everything combined my parents still help me out. I basically pay as much as I can and than my mom helps with the loans/fines.

Do I feel like a piece of shit? Sort of. I mean I did this to myself but I'm also trying very hard to get my life back together. I have NO IDEA how in the world I will afford $1000 a week untill I get into some sort of career.. I mean parttime jobs won't cut that unless I'm doing bartending or something.

But I DO think your decisions are catching up with you finally like you said. I still give you a lot of credit though Jake I won't deny it. As hard as this all has been for you, and even though you haven't made a lot of progress, you still are focused on whats important.

I just wish you could make even little improvements. My school does a "library" week before midterms, where we don't have class for a whole week before them. Maybe you can time it out around than? (if your school does it that is, if not, I'm sure you can fake a flu in a few weeks if need be) If you wind up graduating, THEN have to stop at the point your parents are saying they're gonna cut you off that won't be a pretty situation.

I know your parents are prob getting fed up with you, but you have to understand they don't have any answers. If they had the answer "my son is addicted to opiates" I think that would in a way ease their mind JUST KNOWING why you are the way you are now. They prob think that you naturally act like this, and it would in a way ease that part of their concern.
"Well its just the drugs then, we need to get him off the drugs" they would think.

I don't know Jake you give me a lot of will power bro and I don't think you know that. When ever I think I have it tough I look at the position your in and wonder "how is that kid still making it?". Like I get mad that I start school next wednesday only being off opiates for 2 weeks, and having no motivation at all.. but god how much worse I'd feel if I was still using. I couldn't possibly imagine.

We are going to figure this out one day Jake. And after you get off the drugs, if you're serious about getting clean I can definitely be a better friend to you in real life. I'll take you to meetings, taking you looking for work, maybe we can start our own business one day just to keep our heads above water (I have some really good ideas) and stay busy. I WANT you to do this. I want to see everyone in this thread make a better life for themselves.
 
Get you some REVIA. Or the Vivitrol shot.
Or go far, far away to somewhere you can't get drugs
Sounds to me like where I have been at some times: Needing my ass kicked by intense and unforgiving withdrawals.
it teaches a lot.
^^ Unlikely.

Be strong bud. I have been through what you sound like you're going through: knowing you're doing horrible, knowing you're killing yourself, everyone in your life is frustrated by you, no one in your life knows your true story, nobody really knows you, living a toxic lie. Piece of advice? GO TO A MEETING and TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH... it will set you free.
 
thanks so much guys . my plan is to kick the opiates first. im down to 2 mg sub , one more day of that . and then kick or at least taper down to 2 mg klonopin a day (what im prescribed) and not buy any xanax or other benzos.........stay in school , look for work , go to N.A> gym , and hope that things get better .............as far as my parents cutting me off after i get a degree, it seems messed up that after ill be doing better then ill be punished but if i come clean with them now about opiates it will only make it worse trust me
 
just took last 2 mg of sub i have ...................down to 8 k pin . hopin to get it re filled tmrw................feel horrible. at least i have sat sun monday with nothing to do . may as well kick at home , guy who went to this detox was high there whole time off methadone and ativan
 
Hows it going jake...?

For me I know I put off detox for a long fucking time. It took me a solid 2 years taking subs till I finally gave up shooting dope. And that was about 7 years after a 2 yr. methadone run. I always wanted to get clean but I had acess to funds + my parents were the BIGGEST enablers and they still are. I have spent the last decade trying to get clean and believe me I wanted to get clean. Nothing worked at least 10 rehabs/medical detox, jails/courts [I have 27 felony arrests, 2 convictions, 1 expungement, almost all poss. of narcotics. I am SOOO lucky I am not in jail].

I have at least 4-5 friends doing a min of 5 all the way up to 15 yrs. Than there is the [count um'] 14 GOOD friends that I have had OD and die to usually a benzo/heroin combo. That is alot of close friends to lose but it doesnt phase me and thats a problem right there but whatever.

Point is I am clean and that is a fucking miracle to say the least. I cant tell you how many home detoxs, oh I am going to quit tomorrow. Ill just take 3 of these pills, 4 of those, 2 to sleep, 5 to stop shaking, yet I was scoring dope at 5am. I wanted to get clean but I couldnt. Eventually after a LONG time takin bupe was I able to shake the life of even thinking about dope. Realistically I believe the only thing that helped was growing old and losing alot of friends.

This last time I kicked the opiates that were plaguing me it was like WTF why did I wait so long to do this?? Things are pretty good now. Dont worry about school I was coming off the tail end of a 8 yr benzo habit and then I decided to kick my bupe habit over spring break. It eventually worked. It feels SOO fucking good not to have to deal with some opiate daily but truthfully it kinda sucks but whatever.

So if your going to do it do it. If not just find a script and next thing you know it will be 10 yrs later. I dont know what else to say.

peace.
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