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Too anyone who is having these symptoms

Dawglaw said:
Harry - as someone who has been there before - my best advice is to stay away from BL (and any googling or forums re long term effects of MDMA) for a while. I know how your experience can make you crave answers - you are feeling terrible things and you want answers and you want a cure.

Every time you acknowledge the anxiety and try to fight it, it just perpetuates itself. It took me a long time (and some therapy) to accept that I had zero control over what was happening. Many sleepless nights and i even broke down once or twice. Once I was able to accept what was going on, I no longer searched for a cure. I was aware that I felt off but it didn't scare me or even make me feel uncomfortable anymore. Once I was no longer afraid of being afraid I no longer cared about how off I felt. Stopped checking to see if I was in a spell of derealization. Life started to come back and I quickly improved thereafter.

It's really hard to let go. I think time and hard work (being healthy) are the answer.
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Dawglaw - You speak the fuckin truth man. I'm on here all the time because I am looking for reassurance that I will be ok. I know I will be, but have to accept the road I am on. Its time and hard work. Thank you for your insight, you're living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
 
dawglaw helped me an extreme amount , he had the EXACT symptoms i and many others have/had and i have took his advice. Carry on living your life, stop checking in and seeing if your symptoms are still there, its about control of your mind and to keep living stress and anxiety free, once you get past that stage you start to become yourself again and your symptoms diminish , mine are really getting so much better now because im living my life. I really feel like im nearly there now , To be honest i havnt thought about my symptoms in a a good 4 days now , i have been living as normal and have been forgetting i even had a problem because things seem to be getting so much better. Keep your mind distracted is the key , this is all anxiety i have learned, dawglaw i want to thank you for your words of advice on the thread and in inbox because you have made me realise what my problem is. I knew if i followed your advice it would work because all the symptoms we discussed were exactly the same as each other, so listening to you and finding out that you recovered made me realise that i could recover , Im not saying im 100 percent back to normal but i am really not struggling anymore, life is going back to its excitement as it was again , im starting to feel emotion again, im starting to feel like the person i was before all this. It brings a tear to my eye as i write this because it really is a fucking horrible experience that i would not wish upon my worst enemy, and i feel sorry for the people who are going through this or are just in the first part of recovery but its not nice , il always be on this site though because i will love to help people who are going through what i have and had in the early stages, the community is full of such lovely friendly people and i wouldn't of been able to recover as quickly by far without use lot, best of luck to us all :)
 
My symptoms are brain fog, increased heart rate occasionally and some trouble sleeping. Also some anxiety, depression and emotionlessness. Those are normal for long term recoveries right? I am two months in. I am taking dawglaws advice and ignoring this shit and moving on with my life.
 
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Remember that before this experience you didn't feel 100% all the time. In fact it's rare to feel 100%.

I wake up out of it and foggy all the time. Its not from MDMA damage, it's cause I'm fucking tired and I haven't had my coffee and my balls are in a twist because one of my clients fucked up.

Sometimes I feel a bit down. It's not from MDMA damage, it's because the girl I just took out on a date won't fuck me.

Life happens - before the MDMA you were able to rationalize your feelings because your emotions and psyche are always in flux. With the MDMA comedown you are always checking in to see how you feel. If its not 100% normal you immediately link MDMA "damage". Always remember correlation does not equal causation.

Hell I still experience brief spells of DP DR. I finaly realized that feeling out of it was normal for me. It didn't affect my well being or my cognitive abilities. I basically had invented this monster out of my normal feelings that had zero affect on my life before I got drunk and too some powder that made me feel like shit. Before my comedown I would just say man im tired or I need a coffee. For a while I was like "oh fuck my brain is damaged I'm never gonna be the same".

Anxiety is a real motherfucker. But once you can brush it aside you can laugh at how irrational it made you. You seem like a smart dude. If you had really damaged your brain, you would have cognitive defects and show objective signs of brain damage. You pissed off your brain and now it is fucking with you in an attempt to protect itself.

Remember relax and let go. When it finally comes togeter for you (it took me a long time of wanting to let go but my mind wouldn't let me) you will be like ohhhhh shit I get it now.


Edit: Sorry for typos I'm on my iPhone.
 
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Thank you very much. Thank you for having to speak. I thought I was the only one to have lived her, it's been five months since I have these fears of shit in the head.
I was claustrophobic during the first month (it was super hard to take the metro and train) which is not really practical .. I also had the crowd phobia and phobia of vomit in public ( nausea). The first week was the worst of my life, I took me diazepam which helped a bit. The weeks suivient was horrible, anxiety without reason, fear full of stupid things...
Now it's going a lot better but I still this kind of malaise that comes in the morning and goes only when I sleep. I'm a little depressed, motivated for anything. And public transport are always stressing... It's comforting to see that you're given. any of you went to see a psy? I think that AC can perhaps speed up the process.
Anyway, thank you for having to speak, Surfer179, it feels good!

PS: sorry for the mistakes, I'm French and I use a translator.

Good luck to you all!
Fucking bullshit!
 
worse in the mornings, better in the nights...that was for my in my first anxious steps...hang in there...looks the normal cycle...:)
 
On the first and second months I wasn't really claustrophobic but I was so uncomfortable riding a transit.. It scares me like there's going to be a turbulence of some sort..
 
hows everyone doing ? still have the depersonalization and derealization but that seems to be my only symptom now , i just need to get rid of the anxiety and this will fade, iv read alot about it and i just need to not be scared of it as dawglaw said im gonna continue what im doing and see what happens, il post in a month , good luck to everyone :)
 
surfer179 said:
hows everyone doing ? still have the depersonalization and derealization but that seems to be my only symptom now , i just need to get rid of the anxiety and this will fade, iv read alot about it and i just need to not be scared of it as dawglaw said im gonna continue what im doing and see what happens, il post in a month , good luck to everyone :)
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Heya! I am doing alright.. I tried drinkin last weekend but it only set my anxiety up.. The only symptom I have is the weird feeling in my head and a few zaps.. I'm a tough girl though so Ima beat this shit! :)
 
surfer179 said:
hows everyone doing ? still have the depersonalization and derealization but that seems to be my only symptom now , i just need to get rid of the anxiety and this will fade, iv read alot about it and i just need to not be scared of it as dawglaw said im gonna continue what im doing and see what happens, il post in a month , good luck to everyone :)
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good to hear you are on the mend surfer179!!!

:) <3 :)
 
3 months since my dumb high dose- My depression is completely gone, and my anxiety is way down. My sleep is getting better too. My biggest complaint is head/face pressure. Like there's cotton in my head. Mostly between my eyes and around the nose.

I read FBCs post about this and supposedly it is "re-wiring" which scares the living shit out of me. I don't feel like a different person though. I just have this dull pressure sensation which is a constant reminder.. when all I want to do is let go and move on. Exercise, exercise.. I know! Please tell me it gets better
 
haha thanks laugh , its just a matter of when :)

jonnavi yeah my anxiety goes up with drinking especially with dp , but i found out that once you drink and you get past a certain "tipsyness" the anxiety fades and you get the " i don't give a fuck" attitude. Alcohol works in the same ways benzo's do after a certain amount of intoxication. But make you feel even worse in the morning, iv stayed sober for a while now and i have a holiday to malia coming up which is constant drinking for a week, thats going to be interesting, am abit wary about it but im sure if i just focus on having a good time il be okay , its a matter of time for us guys, its one hell of a long process but it is a recovery which is certain , so not if's or buts that you are fucked forever because your not...

anyways as i said will post my recovery in a month and check how you guys are getting on :D

good luck lets wish a speedy brain recovery for us all ;)
 
@surfer - I went to New Orleans with my buddies in the middle of my comedown. Needless to say I drank drank drank drank and did not get much sleep. By the end I was in hangover hell. I had BAD DP/DR for about 48 hours and then I went back to "shitty comedown baseline 6 months into recovery". While I felt shitty after the trip for a few days, overall the trip was great for me. I was able to go out and have a great time notwithstanding the DP/DR and anxiety. I proved to myself that I was in charge of my life.

My buddies had zero idea that there was anything wrong with me.

Have fun in Malta. Drink some beers and get some sun.
 
hey dawglaw good to hear from you its been a while , yeah hangovers really do make things feel really worse, things start to subside after a few days though so im sure il be fine , by the way its malia not malta haha ;)

harry im coming up to month 10 as jonnavi said so its been a while....

thanks jonnavi i hope i do , im learning to control my mind so by the time the holiday comes (july) i should be in a strong state of mind :)
 
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