HarrytheHead
Bluelighter
Harry - as someone who has been there before - my best advice is to stay away from BL (and any googling or forums re long term effects of MDMA) for a while. I know how your experience can make you crave answers - you are feeling terrible things and you want answers and you want a cure.
Every time you acknowledge the anxiety and try to fight it, it just perpetuates itself. It took me a long time (and some therapy) to accept that I had zero control over what was happening. Many sleepless nights and i even broke down once or twice. Once I was able to accept what was going on, I no longer searched for a cure. I was aware that I felt off but it didn't scare me or even make me feel uncomfortable anymore. Once I was no longer afraid of being afraid I no longer cared about how off I felt. Stopped checking to see if I was in a spell of derealization. Life started to come back and I quickly improved thereafter.
It's really hard to let go. I think time and hard work (being healthy) are the answer.
Dawglaw - You speak the fuckin truth man. I'm on here all the time because I am looking for reassurance that I will be ok. I know I will be, but have to accept the road I am on. Its time and hard work. Thank you for your insight, you're living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel.