Tips on going to jail...

Thanks for the posts everyone, I feel somewhat reassured now. I live in a county right outside of the city *thankgod* b/c if I had to go to Richmond City jail I'd be fucked.

I like playing cards, but I dont really like the idea of sitting around with a bunch of ignorant people getting hassled out of my meals. Ive been thinking about it alot though, and its not even the people Im scared of, but im a very restless, closterphobic person and I just want to get the shit over with. As long as I can read I think ill be fine, I love to read, and actually i like doing pushups too. Anways, thanks again, i dont go to court until Jan. 20, so I guess my next update will be when I get out, or saying that I never had to go!
 
nachocheese said:
Be passive, but don't be a pussy.

Don't be cocky, be confident.

I spent six months in jail and the one thing I learn't was that there are times to give in and times to stand your ground.

I was in one fight my first day there, I'm 5'9 185, I pumbled a guy who was at least 250 pounds and about 6'2. Whoever told you to break a nose must have never been in a fight, getting punched in the face doesn't really hurt that much, or do that much dammage.

Always swing at the neck, ALWAYS. You will either hit the neck and drop anybody it doesn't matter how big, hit the chin which is a much more effective spot than the nose or you will hit the collar bone, which is worse than getting kicked in the balls. In jail it is ok to fight like a girl too, so pull all the hair you want while throwing hooks to the neck.

I know three other people who have spent time in both provincial and federal jail, and I'm the only one who got into a fight, and none of us ever heard of or witnessed any rape or murder.

Good Luck!
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First of all, wtf you chattin mate, geeza going dwn kot to a boxing match and which i might add, punch to the next dont get me dwn - never has, so i cant see some tough inmate getting taken dwn by it.

as for you mate, keep head down, keep clean, he thinking about plans and shit what your gonna do to sort whatever shit you need to out.

You'll be fine, a few will show them selves, be ruff wiv ya, tell em to fuck off you want your 30 days and you want off after.

dnt pussy foot around, be cool relax and chill..

:) See ya's in a mounth
 
Location does depend greatly on what to expect...

In major cities gangs control the jails (certainly county) as the dont bother you to much as

1) Have plenty of money on your books (to buy snacks, smokes, candy)
2) The currency inside is food, snacks, smokes, candy
3) You can lie to the intake ppl and say you take benzos and sleeping pills daily and if you handle it right you will get what you want.
4) Dont get involved in gang shit, if your not plugged (associated) with a gang you are refered to as a Neutron (which means neutral).
5) Usually upon getting booked in is where most of the drugs become available as ppl are trying to get rid of them before being searched.
6) The intake procedure can take 20hrs before you are finally placed where you are going to stay.
7) Get a job if possible, it is just way to boring to sit around all day. Kitchen jobs are the best and an easy way to pass the day or night. Plus you get more food.
8) The food will be horrible
9) Many inmates when they see a white kid walk in will try and give you free shit, (i.e. some smokes, or some chips or something). Dont think they are being nice as they are just looking out for themself and they will want return payment + intrest.
10) Keep to yourself and relax and think there could be worse places to be like county jail at a major city.

Major city jails
1) Many drugs are available: A toothpaste cap full of weed = 2 candybars, pack of roll-up smokes, chips, and whatever else the seller sets the price at. Crack = small $5 rocks are worth 2 packs of smokes plus candy, etc. In jail I have seen: speed, cocaine, heroin, pot, pcp, prescription drugs
2) gangs, gangs, gangs (this is where to get hooked-up)
3) gangs, gangs, gangs (this is to who you dont talk shit about)
4) gangs, gangs, gangs (they try to offer (buy) protection from other gangs)
5) Smoking, if you are lucky smoking will be allowed as this helps to ease the anxiety everybody is dealing with and also helps cover up any other odors. If it is not allowed there are many ways to get around this.
6) Guards (these are the ppl that bring in the drugs) as in big cities many of them are hooked up with a gang. DO NOT talk back to these ppl.
 
Well, when I was first picked up for my federal case they sent me to a County Jail for 3 days awaiting a first appearance before the judge. I had no idea when I would be getting out so you definitely have an advantage. If you keep track of anything it's better to keep track of the time you have left. When I was in prison, we always had chicken on sunday. When we got short on our time, we would count how many more chicken dinners we had left.

If you go in there thinking that you are being punished, then you will probably have a really shitty time. I suggest you exercise as much as possible and use the time to learn valuable information. If you can have books sent in, do some serious reading. Make plans for the rest of your life. Set goals and figure out how to attain them. Try talking to other inmates who seem non-combatitive. I met some really good dudes in prison who taught me a bunch while also learning from me.

And don't be a fucking retard and try to get drugs in there. You don't want to go spend years in prison.

Unless your in a "big city" county jail, I wouldn't count on gangs or any of that other bullshit to worry about. There might be some guys there who have done some time together but it's nothing like prison. Plus at only 30 days, it will be over before you know it.
 
blahblahblah said:
Location does depend greatly on what to expect...

In major cities gangs control the jails (certainly county) as the dont bother you to much as

1) Have plenty of money on your books (to buy snacks, smokes, candy)
2) The currency inside is food, snacks, smokes, candy
3) You can lie to the intake ppl and say you take benzos and sleeping pills daily and if you handle it right you will get what you want.
4) Dont get involved in gang shit, if your not plugged (associated) with a gang you are refered to as a Neutron (which means neutral).
5) Usually upon getting booked in is where most of the drugs become available as ppl are trying to get rid of them before being searched.
6) The intake procedure can take 20hrs before you are finally placed where you are going to stay.
7) Get a job if possible, it is just way to boring to sit around all day. Kitchen jobs are the best and an easy way to pass the day or night. Plus you get more food.
8) The food will be horrible
9) Many inmates when they see a white kid walk in will try and give you free shit, (i.e. some smokes, or some chips or something). Dont think they are being nice as they are just looking out for themself and they will want return payment + intrest.
10) Keep to yourself and relax and think there could be worse places to be like county jail at a major city.

Major city jails
1) Many drugs are available: A toothpaste cap full of weed = 2 candybars, pack of roll-up smokes, chips, and whatever else the seller sets the price at. Crack = small $5 rocks are worth 2 packs of smokes plus candy, etc. In jail I have seen: speed, cocaine, heroin, pot, pcp, prescription drugs
2) gangs, gangs, gangs (this is where to get hooked-up)
3) gangs, gangs, gangs (this is to who you dont talk shit about)
4) gangs, gangs, gangs (they try to offer (buy) protection from other gangs)
5) Smoking, if you are lucky smoking will be allowed as this helps to ease the anxiety everybody is dealing with and also helps cover up any other odors. If it is not allowed there are many ways to get around this.
6) Guards (these are the ppl that bring in the drugs) as in big cities many of them are hooked up with a gang. DO NOT talk back to these ppl.
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Dude. I do not know the basis for your info. but, 1. Money is limited to a certain amount that can be deposited into your account on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. 2. You most definitely cannot "lie to the intake people" and "get what you want". Medications whilst in custody are a veritable nightmare to get approved by the man. The meds. must be approved by a physician and are closely administered. What exactly did you or someone else scam?
 
Let's keep this thread clean guys. This is a "tips on going to jail" thread- not a "tips on how to get drugs behind bars" thread.

Consider this an informal warning. Any further violations will result in a formal warning and some heavy editing.

There is a lot of great information here. Don't spoil it by talking about how to get drugs. The Legal Forum is not here to help you break the law.
 
Dude. I do not know the basis for your info. but, 1. Money is limited to a certain amount that can be deposited into your account on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. 2. You most definitely cannot "lie to the intake people" and "get what you want". Medications whilst in custody are a veritable nightmare to get approved by the man. The meds. must be approved by a physician and are closely administered. What exactly did you or someone else scam?
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I have got Librium, Valium, and Thorazine. I have said I was taking 6mg of Xanax daily and I was extremely nervous about the life threating w/d I was going to experience. The nurse did ask info about my doctor and I gave her his name thats it and she told me they did not stock Xanax at there pharmacy but they did have other benzos which she said she will be able to give me.

Granted I did not have a script from that doctor at the time so I bluffed. I was however going thru opiate w/d and knowing that they would give me nothing worthwhile I thought to myself hmmm I know benzo w/d can be life threating and they would be foolish to not medicate me and risk extreme benzo w/d (read: lawsuit). Sure enough I got what I needed.
 
^Nothing personal, but let's stay on topic. :)

Please also read my previous post in this thread.
 
those are tips on going to jail. you're gonna want some drgus, considering all of us are on this drug webpage for a reason.
 
In my county they give you your meds no matter what they are... It's against the law not to.
 
About the advice "always swing at the neck"...

Wrong.

If you're thinking in terms of throwing punches you shouldn't be fighting in jail.

Don't fight unless you absolutely have to. Chances are you won't have to fight, despite the stereotypical representations.

If you are cornered and a fight is INEVITABLE and don't know shit about fighting the only thing worth using is your head -- right into his nose/mouth/chin, before he has a chance to do anything to you.

Either a straight butt if you are of equal height or the top of your head straight up if he is taller. Both will drop an assailant very quickly.

A failed punch is a disaster in a fight, even if it is to the neck. Don't try any punches unless you are a boxer.
 
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it wont be bad at all, that "dont drop the soap" line is just fictionary, that doesnt really happen unless u want it to. it sucks being locked up in a 8 by 10 for 18hrs out of 24 but crime doesnt pay .....
 
CBRworm said:
I'm pretty sure Spunk is out of jail by now . . .
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I'd hope so. Unless something went horribly wrong.

But I would be interested to hear how it went.

Spunk?
 
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