Well, I can give you my FIRST HAND experience - I did 32 days in county, this was right after an arrest and I was scared shitless ... for me, it went like this.... if you check yourself in or they take you in, you go to recieving there you will be stripped of all personal effects, and searched.. they take yer belt and shoes, you get to keep your street clothes but they give you sandals to wear - knowing you will be going, I can give you this advice - bring $50 to deposit into your comissary, wear socks, jeans and a sweater - you SHOULD be allowed to keep all those while yer in-processing... they will take yer picture from 3 differnt angles as well as photograph any scars or tattoos you have, they will ink you up and finger print you, palm print you, and hand print you (but if you're on probation you have already been through this likely) .. most jails also use a digital scan for finger printing AS WELL as the ink and paper .. just relax, let the gaurd manipulate yer fingers ... you're then tagged with a bracelet... from there you will be moved to a holding cell - if you're lucky, it will be just you, if not, you might have to share the cell with a few other people ... don't ask anyone "what are you in for" or any such crap, if the others ask you questions give the shortest answers possible - it doesn't hurt to be friendly but don't come off as weak or one that could easily be taken advantage of ... now, you will lose all yer clothes shortly (it might actually take up to 24 hours of being moved about) ... eventually they will give you your prison scrub's - a pair of pants and shirt, you will then be told to strip and place all yer clothes in a bag, if you ask NICE there is a CHANCE they will allow you to keep the socks, and trustme, you will want them as jail is a COLD fucking place, if not, well, you have $20 in yer commisary in which you can buy a pair from, you can also buy shoes instead of the sandals, but more on this later....
[EDIT - I forgot, you will have to take out any body jewelry, do this in advance, to keep the wholes from closing use the teeth from a clear or white comb, you can use these to keep the holes open, and if you insert the tooth from the rear of the piericing, it's almost un-detectable, even if they findit, they USUALLY wont mind if yer only doing a 30-day VOP ... I took out my upper and lower labret while I 3was in-processing, even after having them for over 6 months (the lower for over a year) within 3 days (when I learned the comb trick) they were both closed ... for toung bars, get a CLEAR, PLASTIC 'labret' ring then put the FLAT SIDE facing UP with the ball down - it's not likely they will notice, and again, for a 30-day VOP, if it's not made of metal, you should be allowed to keep it - when they were searching me they didn't even ask me to stick out my tounge, only open my mouth, and if you keep yer tounge down the light wouldnt show the jewelry]
Ok, so yer nekid holding only your prison scrubs wearing your prison issue sandals, you will then be taken to the shower room where a gaurd will spray you will de-lousing spray, you then have about 30 seconds to a minute to shower - you most likely wont have any soap, so just try to get yerself good and wet - ALSO, DO NOT TAKE OFF THE SANDALS IN THE SHOWER! from there they throw you a towel, you dry off, put on yer prison clothes and are given a bag that will contain a roll of toliet paper, toothbrush, (possibly) some toothpaste, and given a dry towel ... you're then taken to the a large room with anywhere from 50 to 100 people, this is where you will be for the next 24 hours or so, a lot of your fellow inmates will bond out over this time, but you wont ... also, there will be payphones in this room (you can only call collect) .. but since you know yer going to jail, don't tie up the phones, there is no point as it's this first day when the other inmates that were NOT EXPECTING to go to jail will be trying to call their lawyers, the PD, family, etc... the first thing you will want to do is find a bed - now in a lot of jails (well, most all) over-crowding is a problem, so you might get nothing more then a matress, 1 sheet, 1 blanket, no pillow (correction - you get all this when you get yer bag of supplies) ... if there are no bunks, they should provide "boats" you can put yer matress in, if you can get a bunk, andhavethe choice of top or bottom, GO FOR THE BOTTOM as at night they don't turn out all the lights in prison and they have lights outside all the windows ... since you don't have a pillow, simply tie the towel around yer eyes and sleep that way ...
After the first 24 hours they will havea placement for you, in the jail I was at they were called "Pods" .. this is where you will stay, each "pod" (or whatever they call them there) will have about 100 inmates in it - in these, the conditions are better.. but since you're the newbie it might take you anywhere from a few dasy to weeks to get a bed, if not, its in the boat you go - but you might get lucky and get a bed on yer first day, I did on my second... now, you will be sharing living quarters with this other person for the next 30 days, so it doesn't hurt to introduce yourself ...
Here is your basic schedule:
05:00 - wake up for breakfast, you then go back to sleep (everyone does) ... sleep ...
10:00 - lunch time, the population is USUALLY awake by this time ..
15:00 - dinner
21:00 - lights out
ALWAYS SHOw THE CORRECTIONS OFFICERS RESPECT! Call them "Sir" Or "Mam", "please" and "thank you", etc... because THEY OWN YOU for the next month,and say you DO end up getting attacked, if you're an upstanding inmate that could SERIOUSLY IMPROVE their response time - learned that from several of the inmates... basically it's just SO RARE to have an inmate treat them with respect, you will definitly stand out as a "good guy" ...
Now, you should request the following from the commisary ASAP (they usually do orders once or twice a week) - a pair of socks and a pair of shoes, a (full size) bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo .... now, DEPENDING on where you are, you CAN recieve items from the outside - for instance, yer mom can bring you a pair of socks and a bottle of shampoo... MOST PLACES wont allow shoes as it's to easy to hide drugs in them, still, it's easier to just buy from commisary ... on yer first day, you wont get any sleep .. its noisey as shit, so since yer awake, rigth before everryone wakes up (like wait till 2 or 3 people are up) you can go take a shower - you only get a hotel sized bar of soap so use it wisely... you get ONE wash cloth, and the best thing to do is to just put the soap on the cloath, then scrub yerself down (you also wash yer hair this way) ... dry off (with your one towel) and get dressed... since they only bring you a change of clothes about twice a week, and since I ALWAYS liked to be clean, I would shower EVERY DAY, often TWICE so I wouldnt stink like everyone else ...
How to fill time in jail -
Well, I killed most all my time by playing chess and rummy - BE CAREFULL BETTING ON GAMES LIKE RUMMY OR CHESS, because you can find yourself owing trays (meals) to people quicker then you think, and that black guy that looks like he cant even tie his shoes, well, he can probasbly kick your ass in a "thinking mans game" like chess, so don't judge on looks.... still, I was always goodat chess, got better, and by my 2nd week I was winning trays and snacks (you buy from commisary) left and right ... in county you can be there for up to a year, so some of these people have nothing to do but get REALLY GOOD at these games... also, games like checkers are different in prision - they have thinks like "flying kings" and all kinds of rules you never heard of ... SOME jails will have one or two TV's per "pod" (or whatever the unit is called) - usually they get about 3 channels, and as a general rule, you watch what they want to watch (daytime talk shows are popular) .... there will most likely be a newspaper, so you can keep up on current events .... you will get outdoor rec about once a week - enjoy it, the simple act of going outside will seem like a real treat after yet inside all day for a full week (some jails have outdoor rec more often) ... shit, play basketball, even if you suck, get in there and play - that is ONE APPROACH, the other is to simply keep to yourself...
Now, in jail you're respected for one of two things:
1) Being the most dangerous motherfucked in the joint
or
2) What YOU can offer the population ... now I have never been in a fight in my life (well, I punched my father on the side of the head once) .. but you get the idea, also, if you fight, you can only expect to get yer assk beat as retrobution, but back to what you can offer the population... INTELLIGENCE if HIGHLY RESPECTED, and if you know about things no one else does, this can GREATLY HELP ... for instance, I was easily one ofthe most popular people in "H Pod" because I had extensive knowledge o0f methamphetamine manufacture, well, word got around and it wasn't long before I had LOTS of people willing to give me things like meals or food from commisary if I could teach them how you make methamphetamine ... sometiems I would be sitting at a table with 3 other people, all of them taking notes as I give directions, amounts of this and that needed, etc.... hell... drug manufacture seems to be a popular topic in jail, namely as I would explain how for $200 I could produce over $3,000 in meth ... one of the guys was friendswitha meth cook, so he said he could already get a synth for that, so I offered him an MDMA synth, telling him how since he (obviously, from his looks) didn't hang out with ravers that he could sell the powder to someone that could flip it, and that (at the time) a gram of MDMA couldsell for twice as much asa gram of meth ... now since I didn't have the whole MDMA synth memorized like I did the meth synth (the MDMA, MDEA, MDA, and 4-MAR synths were all in my chemical stained lab notebook) ... I basically bullshitted him as best I could... I knew I had all the precursors right but kinda guessed on the amounts - still, this earned me a new friend with him and with the other guys that I had taught how to make meth - having lots of friends helps, I mean, given i had no money in my commisary I was able to go to (one of my inmate friends) and borrow a capfull of shampoo, or borrow anothers car magazine for a day ... so while I couldnt fight to save my life, I could play a damn game good of chess or rummy, and I could teach others how to make illegal drugs, I also taugh them some of my various scams, and helped these lost sould realize you don't need to rob a place with force, but rather, you can roba place as the owner/manager hands you the item and says "thank you" ... so I was respected for my knowledge ... so hey, before you go in, read some of the meth synths (the easy ones that dont require any lab ware) ... learn some petty scams that can get you goods and services, hell, if all else fails, BULLSHIT - thats what my co-defendant and I did ... we would just make random shit up, but we were seen as "intelligent criminals" and that ment we were respected, and with respect comes protection ..
Most COUNTY JAILS don't have weight rooms you can use more then durring yer once a week 45-minute outdoor rec session, most state prisons have weight room you can use almost daily, but still, there are calesthenics you can do - pulll up's from the handrail on the stairs going to the second level, sit ups, push ups, etc... I personally am not into that type thing, so I spent all my time playing chess, betting meals and snacks on the outcome of the game ...
Durring the entire time I saw only ONE scuffle - a (les then intelligent negro) pushed a white guiy .. did the white guy whip out a shank and stab him 37 times in the face?, did the white guy get into a fight with him? Nope, insteal he pounded on the door to the 'pod' and yelled "C.O., C.O." (Corrections Officer) .. when a corrections officer came he saidhe wanted to press assault charges against the black dude... the CO asked who had witinessed the assault but it just so happened that all 75-100 people were not looking (get it? In jail there ARE NO WITNESSES) ... the black guy fucked up though, and when he was asked what happened he said that the white guy wouldnt give him a section of the news paper that he (the white guy) wasnt even reading, so "I just done pushed him, I didn't punch him or nuthin, we was just playing" ... the white guy said it was a very forcefull push that knocked him off his feet (yes, he fell but I have seen better acting in elemenrty school plays, the white guy fell but only because, well, HE FELL) ... that was an admission, so the black guy was handcuffed and removed from the pod, he was "arrested for assault", returned to the pod about 4 days later ... given the white guy was one of my friendsI askedwhat happened -he told me (after they went to court) that the black guy got an extra 60 days added and if he so much as brushed against the white guy it would bean extra year, bringing his total time to amost 2 yers which would send him to state .... noqw had the white guy throw a punch they BOTH would have been arrested and BOTH would be doing extra time ... so thats how things are actually done, or qat least thats what the white guy told me ... he said that you ONLY FIGHT if you must, because in jail NONE of yer fellow inmates will step in to break it up, so yer at the mercey of the gaurds having a decent response time - and unlike the schooll yard fights where a punch was thrown and then it was over, in jail the fight can and will go on until a gaurd come in and breka it up, you then each get more tiem added... but if you ARE in a fight, use the tips NACHOCHEESE gave - fight will everything you have, go for the throat, or nose, basically just getin AS MANY hits as you can... this isn't state, there really are no "county jail gangs" so it's not like you would have a gang of the other inmates people after you .... and if you show that you're not afraid to fight, then in the future you stand a greater chance of no one fucking with you ....
Time also goes SO SLOW when yer in jail, I passed my time by playing chess and gambling on games of rummy, educationg other crimianls on other ways to break the law, and writing a daily journal ... I'd like to transcribe it all online one ofthese days... its abot 50 hand-written pages so itwouild probably end up as about 30 types pages... it was really just a day-to-day log of all the events (or lack therof) from my stay ... mostly mu thoughts and reflections, and a lot og legal notes ...
Some of the common myths about COUNTY JAIL:
SHOWER RAPE - Remember, these guys are doing less then a year, mainly VOP's, so it's not like they are 10 years without woman ... this was something I asked someof my friends about (inmate friends0 and they alll said that they had NEVER SEEN IT HAPPEN, many (hell, all) had been in county jail multiple times ... remember, if yer raped, then whoever did it *WILL* be chrged with agrivated rape and agrivated assault, in fact, recently the "prison rape act" was passed, so if someone raped you, they would be looking at doing 10-25 years - and if you KNOW that you will be out in 30 days to a year, it's just not worth it ... in fact, in the orientiation handbook you get, there is a full chapter about nothing but jail rape ... also, each "pod" had it's own showers, and you NEVER saw 2 people in the shower at the same time (thats where you jerk off) ... durring my first week I got REAL GOOD at taking SUPERFAST showers, but after that first week I found pleasure in taking a nice, HOT, 15 minute shower (you feel so refreshed after, and I only jerked off ONCE! Which is a record for me when sober, but everyone does it, so it's not like you will get harassed about it... no one even pays attention to you when you go in fior a shower ... oh, of course you wear your sandals in the shower, thats why you keep them even if you buy shoes .. in fact, sexual predators are in their very own wing of the jail I was at ... so since these guys are in forunder a year, rape would make you a "faggot", and get you that nice long sentence at state...
CONSTANT VIOLENCE - again, yer in county jail, these people are not lifers , and most are smart enough to know that fighting can turn a 30 day VOP into a full year ... of course fights WILL happen, but if you keep a low profile it's not likely to happen to you ... I FULL DISAGREE with all the advice about going in acting all tough ... just go in, do yer time, make some friends, get really goos at board and card games, and RESPECT OTHERS .. if you bump into someone accidently, apologize, because if that person has been in jail for 9 months its some little thing like that which you could end up making you an enemy over... like the negros say "you stepped on my kicks bitch? You best apologize 'fo I bust a cap up in you motherfucking ass" ... just do that, say "I'm sorry, it was an accident" and if you see that fighting look in his eyes, extend your handas to shake andmake up ..
SHANKS - The funny thing is, in county jail, there are so many things that could be converted to a weappon, yet from the experienced jail-birds I talked to, it's just oneof those things you don't see but perhaps once in a blue moon ... they do shake down the 'pod' (or until) you're in from time to time, and I never saw anything found ... shit, you getto shave ONCE A WEEKandwhen they give you a razor they write yer name down, in 15 minutes they come by to pick up the razors, and if ONE IF SO MUCH AS MISSINGA BLADE they will shake down the entire unit until it's found...
DRUGS - Ok, there WERE, IN FACT, drugs in county jail... specifically pills that had made their way over from the "med head" unit to the other until - a 5mg Valium sold for $20 in commisary .... speaking of meds ...
If you happen to be on any medication you can do without for a month, DON'T BRING IT because at the jail I was in, ALL THOSE that reieved medication (med heads) were in a totally seperate unit, and MANY were schizophrenic, THESE were the people that threw shit (feces) and attacked each other, you didn't see these things in general population .... a deal would be setup, since you were REQUIRED to take the meication infront of the nurse then open yer mouth/stick out yer tounge, you can imagine that the pills that made it over to our wing were, um, not something I'd be interested in (FYI they made the exchange by when the med-heads went out for outdoor rec, the pill would be placed at some pre-determined location then picked up by the other person in our until) .. but I didn't see any black tar anything like that ...
If I think of anything else, I will ask... also, if you have any questions, feel frre to PM me or post in this thread, I can tell you what to expect for yer month in jail ...
ALSO There is the possiblity of avoiding jail all together if you plead that you havea serious drug problem and would like the chance to go to rehab, cry, say that you knew about the clear risks of getting tested but the drugws have a hold on you that you can't break on your own ... have yer atty/PD plea that jail will do nothing to "help you" ...
