manboychef
Bluelighter
You are doing amazing my friend. I actually have bad circulation in my left hand especially after IV'ing subutex for a couple years. I think both cocaine and subutex really damage your veins. My hand will randomly just get pins in needles in it like it has fallen asleep even when I am not laying on it.
I know exactly what you mean about justifying the logistics. Its amazing that we as addicts can build up use in our mind to the point that it becomes such a romantic prospect. I know for myself I actually get higher on the way to the dope hole then when I am actually doing my DOC. It has always been an extremely underwhelming experience (much less awesome than how I built it up in my mind) that leads me to continue chasing that original high until I am back at square one with my dependency. You are doing something amazing when the thought crosses your mind and then you do not act upon it.
I have to warn you though. You are about to start going through what is known as PAWS. For me it is a resurgence of the emotional aspect of wanting my DOC. It comes and goes, but it gets a hell of a lot easier to cope with if you someone to talk to. Cravings pass pretty quick if you do not begin obsessing.
Keep up the good work my friend, and remember, people places and things will get ya!
I know exactly what you mean about justifying the logistics. Its amazing that we as addicts can build up use in our mind to the point that it becomes such a romantic prospect. I know for myself I actually get higher on the way to the dope hole then when I am actually doing my DOC. It has always been an extremely underwhelming experience (much less awesome than how I built it up in my mind) that leads me to continue chasing that original high until I am back at square one with my dependency. You are doing something amazing when the thought crosses your mind and then you do not act upon it.
I have to warn you though. You are about to start going through what is known as PAWS. For me it is a resurgence of the emotional aspect of wanting my DOC. It comes and goes, but it gets a hell of a lot easier to cope with if you someone to talk to. Cravings pass pretty quick if you do not begin obsessing.
Keep up the good work my friend, and remember, people places and things will get ya!
