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Thoughts on music completely changed after Ecstasy use

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Warped Reality

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 30, 2010
Messages
569
Anyone else ever have this happen to them? Hah, I'm sure you guys don't think that bad of it, but I almost find it depressing.
Before I started doing Ecstasy, I only smoked weed, and well - I LOVED metal. Metal was my life, I played guitar, drums, and I wanted to be a guitarist or drummer when the time came around.

When I started doing Ecstasy, I was introduced to dubstep (at a rave). It was the best thing I've ever heard. Ever since that I can't stand metal or anything other than Electronica.

I'm sure you're thinking, well, what's wrong with that? Nothing really, it's music. You like whatever kind of music you like, blahblah. But the depressing part is, is that I've devoted 15 out of 18 years of my life to playing music, I've spent thousands and thousands of dollars on equipment, drums, lessons, all of that. I wanted to make it big. I wanted to go to Berklee College of Music in Boston. But now that I've started (ab)using Ecstasy, all of my hopes and dreams are gone. I can't sit down and play guitar anymore, it just doesn't feel right. But in my head I know that it's my favourite thing in the world, I just can't push myself to like it anymore. I have absolutely no motivation to do anything, and now that I think of it, my dreams of becoming big are completely gone. I used to see a chance, a dream, me playing live in a band, but now all I can really see is myself being a junkie. Oh and I love DJ'ing too. I'm good at it, I've produced many songs and mixes, and it feels so right, but you can't exactly become as famous as someone in a metal, or rock band or anything along those lines. I don't want to see myself playing sets at raves, I want to see myself playing gigs and seeing kids moshing their asses off. (Don't take any of that personally of course, because I LOVE raves, and ravers, they mean a lot to me)

So, here's my question, does anyone else see what I'm getting at?
 
mdma can cause VERY BAD depression in certain people, and from what you are saying sounds like you are one of those people.

So stop all the drugs and pray you go back to normal with time, and i promise you time clean is the only thing that will help. It might take a long while.
 
That's odd, I love metal while I'm rolling. Maybe you do have some form of depression following the roll, and you're associating it with the brutal sounds of metal.
 
Perhaps. However I haven't rolled in a month and well, I seem like a happy person - I don't have any depressing thoughts (usually) but it seems that my hopes & dreams are sort of a blur now. I don't go home and think "wow, my life sucks." or anything, I quite enjoy life at the moment, but I really don't want to forget who I really am.
 
I've heard of people not really appreciating electronica until they rolled while bumping that, but usually it isn't at the cost of anything else. And keep in mind that depression isn't always manifested by a negative mood, it can also be anhedonia, or the inability to find pleasure, even in formerly pleasurable things.
 
pallidamors said:
I've heard of people not really appreciating electronica until they rolled while bumping that, but usually it isn't at the cost of anything else. And keep in mind that depression isn't always manifested by a negative mood, it can also be anhedonia, or the inability to find pleasure, even in formerly pleasurable things.
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I guess so! Thank you for explaining that to me. I can see how I'm sort of depressed in a way, but I don't see it as a terrible thing right now.

I suppose taking a break from rolling will be a good idea.
 
I CAN TOTALLY RELATE!

I used to love Metal, and play drums. Ever since i started doing ecstasy im into Trance, Hardstyle, Techno, Psy Trance, Dubstep. Anything electronic, metal just isn't the same.

But I wouldn't say your hopes and dreams are gone, you can quit ecstasy and give you brain 3-9 months and it will heals lots of the damage, unfortunately some is permanent.

I recently quit ecstasy due to depression and.. it not really working anymore.
 
xSpeedy said:
I CAN TOTALLY RELATE!

I used to love Metal, and play drums. Ever since i started doing ecstasy im into Trance, Hardstyle, Techno, Psy Trance, Dubstep. Anything electronic, metal just isn't the same.

But I wouldn't say your hopes and dreams are gone, you can quit ecstasy and give you brain 3-9 months and it will heals lots of the damage, unfortunately some is permanent.

I recently quit ecstasy due to depression and.. it not really working anymore.
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Wow, I'm glad somebody understands this. And you're right about my hopes & dreams not being gone. I'm sure if I give my brain some time to heal, I will be fine.
Thank you for your kind words, bud.
 
Warped Reality said:
Perhaps. However I haven't rolled in a month and well, I seem like a happy person - I don't have any depressing thoughts (usually) but it seems that my hopes & dreams are sort of a blur now. I don't go home and think "wow, my life sucks." or anything, I quite enjoy life at the moment, but I really don't want to forget who I really am.
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You are who you are, whether or not you love metal, trance, dubstep, or elevator muzak. We are all always changing, growing, learning...sometimes this means we don't like the things we used to. It's only a problem if we are particularly attached to a certain view of ourselves and can't accept that we are not static entities.

It sucks to have spent so much time on one thing, only to find that it doesn't quite do it for you anymore, but maybe this is an opportunity to broaden yourself and your perspective on what you can do and who you can become.
 
SecondPull said:
You are who you are, whether or not you love metal, trance, dubstep, or elevator muzak. We are all always changing, growing, learning...sometimes this means we don't like the things we used to. It's only a problem if we are particularly attached to a certain view of ourselves and can't accept that we are not static entities.

It sucks to have spent so much time on one thing, only to find that it doesn't quite do it for you anymore, but maybe this is an opportunity to broaden yourself and your perspective on what you can do and who you can become.
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What a great way to put it, thanks a lot. :)
 
Warped Reality said:
Wow, I'm glad somebody understands this. And you're right about my hopes & dreams not being gone. I'm sure if I give my brain some time to heal, I will be fine.
Thank you for your kind words, bud.
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No problem man, it's a stupid thing to say on a forum for ecstasy I guess but its really not worth it because for the most of us keeping it 1-2 months apart is a very hard thing to do if your in the right crowd of people. Me I always had dealers around and all my best friends did e so it was very addicting, something to look forward too on the weekend. I quit now though, hopefully on the road to recovering my brain.

GL to you.
 
Warped Reality said:
I LOVED metal.
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Me too. I used to think of myself as quite the hardcore metal chick. Didn't have time for much anything else. Then, one day, I did e, and we listened to pop/dance/electro music the whole time and danced our asses off... AND I LOVED IT. Previously, I had been much too cool to bother with such frivolous genres... Now it's pretty much my thing. Gotta say, electro is the perfect genre for e, as most anyone will tell ya most likely. Just something about it. Doesn't mean I don't still love metal, 'cause I do, but I"m definitely glad I had my eyes opened to the genius that is technopop.
 
I too used to and still love Metal! Undoubtedly I used to listen to Metal a lot more before I started rolling, but now I listen to it every once in a while. Electronica has replaced a lot of the music I listened to, but I still listen to Metal on a regular basis. Both genres have value to me and I find both of them absolutely beautiful in their own ways :D
 
Metal everyday at the gym only thing i can listen to. Dubstep and hiphop rest of the time.

We are all individuals!
 
So i'm a fellow ex-metal head but my love for all the br00tal shit started to fade when i listened to reggae stoned.... i now realize that the post above me is exactly what i was going to say but in more of a story format haha. but if you do workout i would definitely recommend putting on some brutal death metal or some speed metal, it gets you pumped when your lifting. similarly when i'm rolling, dubstep gets me pumped. music to me is all about matching your mood, if you skate or snowboard i would recommend listening to metal then also. just my opinion on having multiple tastes in music, but you should totally pick that guitar back up bro.
 
Mashup time! :D

I can't really speak to the depression or anything like that but as far as where you want to go musically I think you've a unique opportunity here. You sound like you know music regardless of genre. You have that ear. You sound like my friend who even if he doesn't like a genre he can technically understand it and appreciate what others see in it.

Why not try and merge the two styles? Who knows, you might be leading the next Infected Mushroom!
 
congratulations, you now see the truth.

metal is horrid, electronic music is nice.

clearly Im being toungue in cheek.

Edit: But I am speaking the facts
 
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