Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

[Larimar]

Where is painful one ? Hope she is okay ???
My baby girl is 3 months old now and I have been doing good with the pills. My hubby realized some pills were missing and we had a heart to heart and everything is fine , I take a pill every now and then for some energy and I ask him now instead of stealing , luckily I?m not physically dependent so far . I just love the rush of happiness and energy they give me .

 

[Betternow]

Keeping this thread going. I am doing okay I guess. I am in severe benzo withdrawal but I guess I have to be. It is hell sometimes. Other times it is okay. Sometimes I fuck up and take more and have to skip pills. The taper I got is starting at what is such a low dose for me but realistically the dose is comparatively heavy and pretty unrealistically to get prescribed for months on end. It's still not enough it is 20% of what I was taking before and straight to long acting which his fucking insane and I've never been more anxious in all my life than since I went through severe benzo wd. My brain knows now. How totally fucked I really am. Only time will tell if I will have the strength to work my way towards a second chance at a life. This withdrawal makes you feel as dead inside as a heavy opiate one does, you can walk around and sort of function which makes it horrible when you have to do stuff can fake a sickness but with this, I am seriously lucky not to end up in a psych ward or worse by now. Honestly. That could have happened a lot of times and I practically deserve it by now. It's taking forever to make any sort of progress. Brain and other damage is a serious concern at this point.

Shroomy--i have just never been so proud of someone in my LIFE as I am with you. Thanks to you guys I went from .7 subs to lortabs and faded off the lortabs. I am on day 4 today. So I have been reading all past posts on when these body aches will go away and I have read your story basically since day one. Anyone would love to have the self control you do. If you can get off H and pain meds with the kind of pain you deal with on the daily basis, you can do ANYTHING! I have had to withdraw from SSRI reuptake and benzos. It was not a huge habit but it was QUITE enough for it to turn my stomach and share with everyone how terrible they are before they get in trouble unbeknownst to them (bc dr.s are ASSHOLES). I wish I had the kind of time off u do, I am a professional and IT'S REALLY HARD! Re: your pain attacks-l-theanine is really good for panic, 5-HTP is one u need to purchase right now! PM me we can do this!! I am in the aches portion of this, BUT I CAN work out now (after the surgery) it's not working for pain relief. I now know how stab victims feel due to having zero natural pain relieving chemicals in my brain.

I apologize for not being here for you more, my job gets crazy and then it's zero work for a while-i am in the busy part for the next week.

 

[mtop2036]

Shroomy, 20% down is a big accomplishment. It seems like you are a bit back and forth with getting 100% clean or just trying to get to a lower dose. I'm the same way, some days I'm all for tapering and other days I ask wtf am I doing to myself. But either way that just means your 20% closer to your goal whatever that may be. I know weed is everything but if your having troubles maybe smoke a bit more and do something you enjoy to keep your mind busy.

Betternow. Dang man! How you feeling with 4 days no opiates? Do you feel like your over the sub wd s? Or you feel like it's both the subs and loratabs? I imagine if you can make it to about 7 to 10 days you'll be over most of it! Congratulations on your progress I'm impressed and jealous!

I havn t given an update on my journey for a bit. I don't remember what I was down to last time I brought it up but I've gone to .25 to .125 to .100 and today is the first day at .090. It's definitely catching up with me and feel like I need to slow down a bit. After 8 days of .1 still wasn't feeling right and have just accepted that I'm probably not going to so I made the decision to go to .090 guess we'll see how it goes.

 

[ShroomySatori]

mtop, yea, I need to get more stoned for sure. Thanks for reminding me. I've been eating these monster edibles I made they are the best of my life. Seriously fancy coffee shop grade -artisan honeys, $25 worth of matcha, I have been so high I don't know if I'm repeating myself or not. I have been sleeping for like 12 - 18 hour periods haha. Laying in bed that long... wtf. At least if I had a gf I could prob get some exercise in lol. Fuck I am lazy as shit. I'm trying to make it to yoga tonight but I'll probably fuck off tell myself I'll go tomorrow.

I gotta do something tonight though any ideas on how to deal with agoraphobia anyone? That is what is going on here. I have been developing it from being in withdrawal for the past 14 months and spending the majority of those days inside and alone at least 90% of the time or all of the time. Well first of all I can't eat some days and since I have only eating 2 weed cookies today and nothing else then I won't really have the energy and it's better for me to go tomorrow and eat healthy today and take care of myself just be out of bed. Maybe walk the mall tonight for fun, I think it is important to make sure to get out of my place on a daily basis because I am becoming frightened and apprehensive to.

Today I feel okay but I woke up late. I said a prayer and it was answered instantly? Like within a millisecond but the connection was instantaneous. I'm just saying. People who suffer should pray. Your prayers just might be answer, but be careful what you wish for too. I can no longer deny the existence of higher powers that be due to circumstances I can't really explain. Someone or something is giving me a millionth chance at having a life, whether I take it or not is up to me.

Life passes by so fast I don't want to watch these years go by it seems like the year is still just starting for me like nothing has happened at all. I don't know. I'm just going to chill tonight I think. A lot is on my mind and the horoscope has warned me about going to yoga. Sometimes I ignore them, but it got me thinking and it might not be the best night. I can go tomorrow. Today I will get out of bed so my back stops hurting it hurts like hell and I need to could a majorrrrr pasta! One step at a time I guess. I'm so out of it from all these f*cking weed cookies just wanna give them to my friends haha. I keep passing out but serious best organic cannabis product I ever baked. They are honestly unbelievable and so so yummy and I didn't follow a recipe at all they are also almost vegan just one ingredient isn't. There is so much green tea powder in that shit it's like having 3 cups of coffee with the herb but matcha has a different feel as it contains theobromine in more amounts than caffeine if I'm not mistaken. I know it has a lot of theobromine. Best. Cookies. Ever. The honeys are sooo good too, unpasteurized I guess from different flowers one is really dark and the other a typical colour with a floral taste the only thing I know how to bake are dope cookies it seems.

 

[Betternow]

mtop, yea, I need to get more stoned for sure. Thanks for reminding me. I've been eating these monster edibles I made they are the best of my life. Seriously fancy coffee shop grade -artisan honeys, $25 worth of matcha, I have been so high I don't know if I'm repeating myself or not. I have been sleeping for like 12 - 18 hour periods haha. Laying in bed that long... wtf. At least if I had a gf I could prob get some exercise in lol. Fuck I am lazy as shit. I'm trying to make it to yoga tonight but I'll probably fuck off tell myself I'll go tomorrow.

I gotta do something tonight though any ideas on how to deal with agoraphobia anyone? That is what is going on here. I have been developing it from being in withdrawal for the past 14 months and spending the majority of those days inside and alone at least 90% of the time or all of the time. Well first of all I can't eat some days and since I have only eating 2 weed cookies today and nothing else then I won't really have the energy and it's better for me to go tomorrow and eat healthy today and take care of myself just be out of bed. Maybe walk the mall tonight for fun, I think it is important to make sure to get out of my place on a daily basis because I am becoming frightened and apprehensive to.

Today I feel okay but I woke up late. I said a prayer and it was answered instantly? Like within a millisecond but the connection was instantaneous. I'm just saying. People who suffer should pray. Your prayers just might be answer, but be careful what you wish for too. I can no longer deny the existence of higher powers that be due to circumstances I can't really explain. Someone or something is giving me a millionth chance at having a life, whether I take it or not is up to me.

Life passes by so fast I don't want to watch these years go by it seems like the year is still just starting for me like nothing has happened at all. I don't know. I'm just going to chill tonight I think. A lot is on my mind and the horoscope has warned me about going to yoga. Sometimes I ignore them, but it got me thinking and it might not be the best night. I can go tomorrow. Today I will get out of bed so my back stops hurting it hurts like hell and I need to could a majorrrrr pasta! One step at a time I guess. I'm so out of it from all these f*cking weed cookies just wanna give them to my friends haha. I keep passing out but serious best organic cannabis product I ever baked. They are honestly unbelievable and so so yummy and I didn't follow a recipe at all they are also almost vegan just one ingredient isn't. There is so much green tea powder in that shit it's like having 3 cups of coffee with the herb but matcha has a different feel as it contains theobromine in more amounts than caffeine if I'm not mistaken. I know it has a lot of theobromine. Best. Cookies. Ever. The honeys are sooo good too, unpasteurized I guess from different flowers one is really dark and the other a typical colour with a floral taste the only thing I know how to bake are dope cookies it seems.

Hi, hi, hi, guys. I ache pretty bad, I have read about the pink cloud, don't know how long that lasts. But I WILL say that everything tastes better, feels better, I forgot that I am funny, and love to laugh at ppl, sex is like WOW, everybody should do that pahahahaha. I haven't been clean in 12 years so, it's WEEEEIRD. I found self-consciousness about 2 years ago and its even better without opiates etc! The breeze is beautiful, boys are beautiful-its just the best right now. And MUSIC!??? FORGET ABOUT IT! Hope this lasts forever. I remember before being married hitting on every boy I thought was attractive but I am married now so I gotta chill out. Also, I'm 10 years older lol.

anyways, I believe i am over the subs and I am still feeling the lortabs WD. The surgery sans natural/regular pain medicine was a fucking nightmare so if anything will keep me clean it's feeling 100% of every cut to my muscles and skin. I still have opiates on me, I am just one of those ppl that as long as I have them in my possession I will be less likely to use or drug seek.idk if that makes sense at all.
Shroomy-u need 5-HTP and some Ashgawanda....shit is BADASS for agoraphobia panic. GABA is as well!

I am still scared-its like "can I really come to work 24/7 w/o it?? Can I teach a long class w/o being high?? Can I do this?? I know I can, but will I want to!??

Re;praying-i have never had 2 wait more than 1 day to have my prayers answered. I am talking about running into large sums of money I needed, questions answered immediately and even winning a new car on a friday, that i needed to get to my classes i was starting that Monday. So no one knows like I fo!

 

[mtop2036]

Wait you won a new car? Lucky!

That's good to hear about food being better. That's probably my #1 motivation right there. I've been diagnosed with gastroparesis and they seem to think it's all opiate related even though i had issues before opiates but they definitely were better before drugs. I just hope my stomach gets better once in off. I can't freaking wait to be able to eat like a normal person again.

I know it's easy to say but you being scared will get better in time. It's just gonna take a bit to get used to life again, but I know you got this!

 

[Betternow]

I sure did, and it was just as awesome as it sounds!
I hope shroomy is ok.

 

[Squeaky]

I?m in the same spot every month now. Two weeks no oxy, tapering on Loperamide. Right here I start to feel like I should not get any more oxy because Ill just overuse it AGAIN. But I get a new script in a couple of days....... and dam it would be so nice to sit down at the end of the day without pain..... and to start the day without pain..... and just a little to go with lunch.....
7 days later Im almost through the whole bottle and Im staring down the long barrel of a familiar gun.
Sucks..........

 

[Betternow]

I honestly think I would go completely crazy if I had to do this back to back, over and over again.
It's like day 4.5 I am having waves of really painful legs, even waves of very mild nausea. I cant tell whats actual pain and whats withdrawals. I would do anything to wake up tomorrow and be ok.

 

[Betternow]

Just did a guided meditative practice that unleashed a lot of self hate, regret, fear, anger, frustration, utter despair... it was horrible but I guess necessary, that is what it is supposed to do but I used to be so zen. I can still sit with myself but it's chaos there is no longer any inner peace like before when I would do this shit stoned.

What if I have a very real craving to shoot up? What the fuck do I even do I can't stop that shit! That's way too intense, that shit is calling out to me like mad I feel like I'm already dead cause of the benzos anyway, if I'm already dead I may as well do some drugs but I fried myself so bad the only drug I can really enjoy anymore is heroin. Most anything else gives me a panic attack unless it's like weed or espresso or a little coke. I just have drugs on my mind and it seems as soon as I have a benzo supply and any money whatsoever to spare and get away with that I immediately think opiates. I want that shit back. I'm not happy. I'm sad. When I take H, I feel like my good old self before I ruined my life and I can function perfectly fine and also work. I can't without it things keep getting worse and it has been 14 months it's time to consider the needle as I could start at a super low dose and my nose is pretty fucked there unfortunately probably shouldn't be any more of that and I already taught myself how.

If anyone knows how u feel it's me. U have come so far shroomy!

 

[ShroomySatori]

Wish I was 10 years younger than I was. If I was just getting out of school, there would be so much more hope. I should have got on suboxone and a benzo taper both 2 years ago. I have thrown away a year and a half of my life, to nothing. It sucks; I have been observing how happy people my age are, I mean they are nowhere near this shit. Or they wouldn't have jobs, money, plans, and dates on the weekend, vacations, everything I'm missing out on. Others suffer but I rarely see it and I am seen differently.

I'm not even doing drugs anymore like I don't get high. I'm so depleted that at best I can feel normal for a few hours. That being said I just had too enormous weed cookies but have been doing yoga again, but not for exercise or to be fit. I am not interested in that, because it is so much work and I can never keep the weight on long term. However, I can always meditate so I do more relaxing styles of yoga now that are not vigorous. I will never really look good again to women who don't like really skinny and tall guys I guess.

It's just frustrating because I notice. One of my friends we used to be the same build. I didn't notice anything like woah this guy is big, but now I feel small in comparison it is so weird. It's hard for me to notice how skinny I am because my body just stays in the same proportions and I'm unobservant as a person. So I just had two big pot cookies, really healthy ones for breakfast. The butter came out gold, but the cookies are dark with matcha and yummy honeys. I'm too depressed to make breakfast so it's nice to have those on hand I just end up getting way too baked can't keep my paws out of the jar. They are amazing since they contain a lot of caffeine too. I just had a ton of THC and caffeine, antioxidants, theobromine, healthy sugars and all this stuff I don't really know about I suck at biology and in the morning, I didn't have to do anything or leave my room.

Normally I am too lazy/depressed to eat breakfast but pot cookies sure are motivating and these are delicious I have no idea how I made them. I was baked as a kite, and went by intuition they turned out to be something I'd be pleasantly surprised with anywhere with or without the dope they are delicious but the dope is organic and adds a nice touch to the matcha. There is like $40 of matcha in that shit I went crazy with it cause I have like 10 cups of coffee a day but now it's like fuck the coffee and bong tokes when I can do this.

I am clinically depressed for sure, I just have to wait about 2 weeks to find out. I mean, I'm too fucked up to get my disability in or I would have had it for years by now. I am disabled and I finally acknowledge it. It means my life will never be what it was. I have not found a way to be happy yet. I really like essential oils though, used roman chamomile this morning. I am very lonely and I have been for a long time. I feel extreme anxiety around other humans now, for instance if I go to the mall or especially if it's people who know me. I feel extreme anxiety around them. I don't feel anxiety around everyone though and definitely not attractive women which I used to really badly, it doesn't really make a difference anymore. I dont' care but cute nice ladies are very relaxing and uplifting some of them so much fun to be around, I am a lonely person. I hate it so much.

I hate my life I'm sure I'm not the only one but I really, really hate it because of the loss of potential energy. I am so damn unique and bright I am nothing special I am not that smart I can't remember what I had for breakfast oh right well the best intuitive matcha extreme potency THC cookies ever and I haven't taken a benzo in over 12 hours but the chamomile seriously chilled me way out I don't crave it and I was. Why I am tying so much it is the anxiety. I hate this. I hate how I can't be myself that's one reason why I feel tortured. I see the person I could be, I would know just what to do. What I used to before I fucking hurt my back it was pretty damned straightforward for me. Not anymore I am a lost soul. They honestly leave chronic pain patients hanging you need to remember that is what I am. All of my serious life issues apart from girl problems cause I was most def fucked around with as a kid I just realized on drugs of all things that I had been twisting the memories and yeah I have to talk to a therapist about that. It sucks. It makes me realize why I am so stupid with women though I guess I never knew that until last year when I put 1 + 1 together to make 2.

They leave chronic pain patients hanging. I didn't even have an appointment with a specialist for 2 years after I broke down after 6 months of that shit and started begging for mercy. Should have discover H earlier. I would have been using it when I actually needed an opiate, before acute pain lingers so long it turns chronic. I was too busy with my career I didn't even think about physio or the hospital like that shit didn't cross my mind I had just been starting to make a salary amount for the first time in my life. However eventually I woke up at night screaming and crying in agony went to the hospital, got 10mg oral morphines which I honestly hated and they scared me when I was stoned I'd get paranoid and even that dose would make me too sedated and nod back then. Since I have such a natural sensitivity to pain. Take a few days off work they don't give a fuck I've been fired for not being able to concentrate due to chronic pain so many times and what the fuck has this country done for me? I'm moving away as soon as I can I have big plans for the future and they won't be here. Fuck this shit. How is this shit STILL going on. It's actually to the point that I am being to realize that I am ruining my life. It has not just been my fault. I am only capable of so much. I can't really start my career 15 years too late though it hasn't been that long but long enough. I better get going or there isn't any point in this. It is not enjoyable for me. I'm just saying there does come a point where you're like, fuck, I really could have done more with my life.

Well my muscles are twitching now I better take this stupid pill.

 

[ShroomySatori]

Dropped my dose by 15% just spread out randomly from passing out stoned and stuff. It doesn't really matter if I'm in withdrawal or not as my life sucks either way, but it is important that I am kept safe for I have future ambitions that I would like to see if are still a possibility as I had a lot in mind and now these prescription meds + extreme anxiety is ruining my whole entire life.

 

[Xorkoth]

Well I haven't posted here in a while. My troubles aren't nearly as great as some of you, but I am tapering. My opiate days are way behind me, but some months ago I finally got my hands on some GHB, I had always wanted to try it. Well I discovered that I love it and that no drug since opiates has had that kind of pull on me. So I broke my rules repeatedly and ended up doing it most days for like a month and a half, and when I would do it, I'd do it repeatedly from after work til I went to bed. I ran out and didn't get more because I realized how bad that would be, and I hoped I had somehow manged to escape physical dependence, but I hadn't. I started shaking pretty bad and was worried about seizures so I turned to phenibut, since I have tapered off phenibut a couple of times before in my life, its long duration make it much easier. So, that was like 4 months ago maybe, I pretty quickly managed to get to every other day and since then I've been slowly lowering the dose and sticking to the schedule. I picked up a small supply of gabapentin to jump to every 3rd day on phenibut (it lasts so long that I can drop to every 3 days and still get withdrawals on the 3rd day). A couple of cycles now I have taken gabapentin sparingly on the day I would normally have taken phenibut and been able to push the phenibut out an extra day. Today is the day I would take gabapentin, but I haven't yet, so far I just feel slightly anxious so we'll see how the day goes, I may take some later (if I do it will likely be to sleep). Once I get to where I feel stable without gabapentin for every 3rd day on phenibut, I'm just going to jump off and deal with some mild withdrawal and be free again. I'm looking forward to it, I'm sick of the mood swings.

 

[Betternow]

Dropped my dose by 15% just spread out randomly from passing out stoned and stuff. It doesn't really matter if I'm in withdrawal or not as my life sucks either way, but it is important that I am kept safe for I have future ambitions that I would like to see if are still a possibility as I had a lot in mind and now these prescription meds + extreme anxiety is ruining my whole entire life.

Shroomy-i, actually, only date tall, skinny dudes-and statistically chicks are more drawn to taller men. Women instinctually are drawn to them based on them being healthier and more evolved thus more apt to provide healthier offspring. I don't mean to get scientific on you but sociology is what I do.
I used to be vegetarian, but only bc I didn't miss meat. U really should be eating meat right now and avoiding anything sugar or anything that turns into sugar in the blood stream (like ur pasta). And u know my stance on vitamins. U should be taking GABA, L-Theanine and def L-tyrosine with B6. 5-HTP would benefit u right now as it is the building blocks of serotonin and the l-tyrosine is the building block (or amino acid) of endorphins.

I agree that dr.s are full of shit and I thought that this "opiate epidemic" would blow over quickly. It in fact has not. They dropped my mother like that, luckily she didn't take her pain meds every day and hasn't experienced (or wasn't knowledgable) that she was experiencing withdrawals and I never have the heart to tell someone when they are experiencing them. It's just easier not to know lol. Or it was for me.

 

[Betternow]

Dropped my dose by 15% just spread out randomly from passing out stoned and stuff. It doesn't really matter if I'm in withdrawal or not as my life sucks either way, but it is important that I am kept safe for I have future ambitions that I would like to see if are still a possibility as I had a lot in mind and now these prescription meds + extreme anxiety is ruining my whole entire life.

On friday at noon it will be 7 days since my last pain pill. I have had very mild nausea since that friday and a lot of legs cramps and muscle shitiness. I had 5 gabapentic with high doses for the worst of it. Took my last one today bc I over did it in the gym and I guess without subs and lortabs and without a fully functioning brain chemicals, it is the most painful soreness I have ever had after a workout.

I have only craved my pain meds/subs a handful of times. The pain of what I just went thru is a healthy deterrent. It's still very fresh on my mind. I believe that without the 2 years on subs I would be so used to grabbing pills, shopping for them etc. I would have had a lot more problems with craving them. Does that make sense?

 

[ShroomySatori]

K there is definite improvement with the benzos here, not much, my dose has dropped but it is more the initial memory problems and instability subsiding a little.

That is awesome 7 ays. Be careful of relapse around that time. I don't know much about gabapentin, maybe a comfort med to use.

Pain will be amplified for a while like that.

Only time will tell if you have cravings or not. You distanced yourself from those bad habits, it hasn't been in your life for a long time. However an opioid still has and everyone is different I really can't say but I would be careful. Pay attention and watch out for the cravings they strike in your sleep.

It makes sense, I don't have cravings ever after 14 months and the entire time I never did. Only out of depression and not realistic cravings. Cause the cold turkey withdrawal was so bad. I don't know what to say other than it is way harder to keep off them than to get off them.

 

[ShroomySatori]

I am having meat at the moment, because I got too skinny from not eating out of depression. I can't keep weight on. I have experience with the stuff you mentioned, why B vitamins? They enhance the L-tyrosene right like taken before? Can I not get cheap B vitamins from like nutritional yeast? Since, I don't have much money but can probably afford L-Tyrosene and magnesium is something I feel I should be taking. I notice a difference in muscle relaxation. I have a lot of physical tension.

I'm not worried at all about being tall or skinny or those girl problems, really that is in the past. Thanks though, I still look just as good I notice it more with guys I guess like how girls must critique each other lol. I feel a little smaller I don't really care just kinda feels odd sometimes like I'm missing something haha... and yeah, they do like me I'm just not well right now very depressed or I'd probably have a solid dating life. I don't want to think about that but I already have and now I am suddenly furious. Today I am not sure how I feel but it will be a relaxing day, woke up stoned from an edible.

I shouldn't be skipping meals like how about I start with that why do I keep doing this like is it that hard to make a bowl of oats for fucks sake? I guess when you're depressed... like wtf.

 

[Betternow]

I am having meat at the moment, because I got too skinny from not eating out of depression. I can't keep weight on. I have experience with the stuff you mentioned, why B vitamins? They enhance the L-tyrosene right like taken before? Can I not get cheap B vitamins from like nutritional yeast? Since, I don't have much money but can probably afford L-Tyrosene and magnesium is something I feel I should be taking. I notice a difference in muscle relaxation. I have a lot of physical tension.

I'm not worried at all about being tall or skinny or those girl problems, really that is in the past. Thanks though, I still look just as good I notice it more with guys I guess like how girls must critique each other lol. I feel a little smaller I don't really care just kinda feels odd sometimes like I'm missing something haha... and yeah, they do like me I'm just not well right now very depressed or I'd probably have a solid dating life. I don't want to think about that but I already have and now I am suddenly furious. Today I am not sure how I feel but it will be a relaxing day, woke up stoned from an edible.

I shouldn't be skipping meals like how about I start with that why do I keep doing this like is it that hard to make a bowl of oats for fucks sake? I guess when you're depressed... like wtf.

Yes, b vitamins assist the tyrosine in crossing the blood brain barrier. 5 htp is great for this depression. I imagine u have zero desire for girls under these circumstances. Hell, I just found my libido last week. I only eat Keto, but the last 4 weeks I am just eating whatever is easiest and its prolly holding me back.in feeling better. I am STILL so sore from leg day that I do not have the ability to walk comfortably. That was 4 days ago. I also forgot what it felt like to sneeze- I found that as well.
I am proud of the 7 days without, but boy would a pill help me out right now!

 

[ShroomySatori]

Zero desire for women? Are you kidding at my age, I am too horny. I wish you were right then I probably wouldn't be so angry all the time maybe get more exercise in too like srsly. Ever since I stopped it a little with the benzos, I am gradually tapering now. I actually cannot fucking stand it fuck. I'm not supposed to be tapering yet, but I am saving a few pills to have around since I don't need every one of them.

Yeah but something must be different about my serotonin probably all the E back in 2010, because that serotonin precursor for some reason triggers panic attacks every time. It's weird... I was prescribed L-tryptophan and same thing. I went back a few pages and copy/pasted your recipe I'll just take out the couple things my body doesn't agree with, and add some magnesium. I have a chart from a nutritionist for introducing magnesium supplementation slowly into my system but I don't know the best form to take I heard glyconate but I am unsure.

Went through 5 ounces in the past couple weeks getting 3 more been stressed as hell back hurts too.

It took forever for libido to come back this time I had relapsed so many times and every time it took longer at first it was like 2 days. Then a year. No I have a crazy strong desire I don't think it can be stopped for once for fucks sake I am seriously fed up of this shit this time I can get with someone really hot if I'm just not so fucking stupid about it. I did in December I want another hot fling or 2 or 3 not a gf in this state fuck they drive me crazy to begin with lol.

Take it easy with the working out I'd tone down the routine to like half of what you normally do maybe just for now. I made it to yoga. I am happy I have basically free weed to smoke, I normally have to be very conservative but I can smoke nice king sizes now. I just have a friend who knows I am withdrawing and doesn't give a shit ike I don't even pay. It's good times for a doper like me for sure. I made unbelievable matcha edibles too!

A pill would set you back, and yeah, that is something to be proud of. I would say your next milestone will be one month. You will be really proud to make it a whole month for sure. I am happy for you since the physical agony if it was that bad for you is almost over. I think it peaks at like day 10 at least for me and lasted a month for me too so like don't be surprised if it takes a little while. The pill will immediately set you back to square one and set you up to relapse, pretty much. Good luck. This benzo kick is fucking ridiculous. It's going to take a long time.

 

[ShroomySatori]

My near future seems ominous.

I have one friend around here I can hang out. He is super chill. Just because of what I have been going through and how much money I have had to spend on pot to stay sane, gave me a QP (that is a lot for one person and I will def not be sharing I really need it).

People like that give me hope for the world and of course I will do other friend things in return, like make diffuser blends and stuff like that. It's just fun doing nice things for people I am finding and it seems that what goes around comes around.

Did you say you don't want to get all scientific on me? Want to start with the quantum physics or what. I know nothing of biology but could understand anything if explained to me, I would probably see it more in terms of biochemistry and more abstract but that is my perspective I am not really from this planet anymore. Anyways I am writing more of a social post I guess this time. I see danger in my future as early as next week but for now I'm smokin my weed and just had a healthy dinner. Not really much to say. It's late here and I smoked a couple joints. The weed is organic and just so damn chill and balanced, definitely lucked out there as I couldn't do life let alone benzo wd's without it.

How is your opiate kick going? Just be careful about feeling better it can feel on/off for a while and yeah if a craving happens I suggest trying to prepare for them because you will have to act fast if you have any sort of connection to them still at all. Be prepared for the random cravings, one day you might wake up fiending and I messed up a lot of times like that. It was like nothing could stop me I wasn't thinking straight.