Positive The Tapering Support Thread v 2.0

[endlessnameless]

It is good to hear that you think I can taper these a little faster.
I will try.
I want off these ASAP.
They do not agree with me.
I am always nauseated, they don’t help much for actual pain, and they feel like some gross antidepressant , like mental on these.
No wonder they drug test me to make sure I am still taking them.
I feel like I have been forced onto some gross psych meds that are just making me sick.

If anyone has experience coming off suboxone as fast as possible, I would love to hear it.
I don’t want to do it too fast and cause myself flare up of injuries and God only knows what.
I need to be gentle on my body.

But that is good news!
4-5 months and I can be on very low dose of Suboxone and then dump it from there.
I am determined.

While I dont have experience in tapering off Suboxone as fast as possible, I do with a very wide variety of other addictive drugs - including Methadone. As regards my last stint on MAT, I managed to get on and off methadone within 3 months having started at 20mls and I believe I made the jump at 5mls. In hindsight we tend to think these things weren't that difficult however when you're going through it in the moment the opinion is often the contrary, however considering I've been keeping regular journals for almost 20 years now I've been able to look back at the time I was weaning off and it wasnt that difficult at all. In my entries at and after the time I had reached 0mls I chalked the relative ease of it up to having only been on it for 3 months, however my run with heroin before that was at least 3 years.

If Suboxone is easier to get off than Methadone then I imagine you could get yourself off it and back to feeling like yourself again in much less than 5 months. Also, perhaps you might consider Lyrica/Pregabalin for the first two weeks after you hit 0mgs, as I find it takes away almost 100% of opioid and opioid-agonists. Considering Suboxone is a partial opioid-agonist then I dont see why it wouldnt work for any lingering withdrawal symptoms upon cessation.

I would be in the fetal position in my bed with the curtains drawn, sweating bullets and wanting to hang myself today were it not for the 300mgs of Pregabalin I took this morning. Maybe it doesnt work for everyone, but for me its an absoloute wonderdrug when it comes to the withdrawal process and I've used it a good few times as an off label aid and its worked miracles everytime. I'd never again do a cold-turkey withdrawal without using them. Just something to consider. I wish you the best of luck and I'm confident that you'll succeed in your goal as long as you genuinely want to.

Feel free to ask me any questions you wish and if I can help you I'd be happy to.

 

[Painful One]

Good news friends!
I finally got accepted by an actual doctor!
I have an appointment on the 30 th.
I just want off the medication and to have a life back.
I know that once I get a chance to talk to the doctor, he will help.

Still tapering the suboxone on my own.
Trying to get down to just one pill a day instead of three.
I’m doing alright on one and a half a day right now.
Any less and I start having problems.
But I will keep trying.

 

[mal3volent]

Good news friends!
I finally got accepted by an actual doctor!
I have an appointment on the 30 th.
I just want off the medication and to have a life back.
I know that once I get a chance to talk to the doctor, he will help.

Still tapering the suboxone on my own.
Trying to get down to just one pill a day instead of three.
I’m doing alright on one and a half a day right now.
Any less and I start having problems.
But I will keep trying.

Some good news for a change, huh?

 

[Squeaky]

Merry Christmas!

Or….Happy Hanukkah!

Or maybe…..Happy Kwanzaa!

 

[kiely]

thank you @Squeaky

 

[Painful One]

Happy New Year and Happy the holidays are OVER!
I actually made it through pretty good.
Despite missing my mom immensely, I was Holly and Jolly.
Merry and Bright.
I forced myself to be at first and then I found that I was honestly enjoying myself.

I counted my blessings and there was ALOT to count.
I am very grateful and thankful.

My family has really pulled through for me.
They have been supporting me, paying the bills, and going to doctors appointments with me.
My little brother is a research doctor and he has become very active in helping me to recover.
He actually drove me to Nevada and bought me a whole lot of good medical marijuana!
(That may have helped with the Holly, Jolly part )

I WANT TO RECOVER!
My GOD, it is a miracle.
I don’t want these opiates anymore.

I went up from one and a half, back to two suboxone a day during the holidays,
Two steps forward, one step back….but I am going to go back to the one and a half a day now.
I am tempted to just go for it and stop taking any but….these are strong medicine and I think slow and steady is going to win this.
If anyone thinks otherwise please speak up.
I may just do it, once I get my clonazepam refilled in a few weeks.
I am having to half those now due to me taking extra through the holidays.
I wish I wouldn’t have smoked all the marijuana I had.
OMG, now I see what poor ShroomySatori went through with that damn benzodiazepine withdrawal.
I can’t even imagine how bad it must have been for him with the amount he was taking.
I hope and pray he is still alive and doing better.
Shroomy, if you are out there- please respond my love.

I went to the new doctor and she is having me go get a full MRI and X- Rays of my back.
Then we are going to make a plan on the 17 th.
After we have the results back from those tests, we can see what the situation is now.

All in all, I think I am making some huge progress and I am going to continue to make leaps, bounds, or baby steps if that is what it takes.
I got this!

I hope everyone is doing well.
Love you all.
Don’t lose hope and never give up, never surrender!
P.O.

 

[kiely]

I hope everyone is doing well.
Love you all.
Don’t lose hope and never give up, never surrender!
P.O.

I am so glad you are doing well. I hope that you feel even better and get better now too.

That's awesome ... But then so are You !!!!


I am so happy for you. Keep Going Please. Take Care !!!

 

[kiely]

I
Love you all.

I mean I hope the best for you to keep going and doing so well.

Thank you for sharing your Heart and Love with us though.


Amen.




I much appreciate all that you do, for sure. Lulz. Love that so much !


I love us all back too.

 

[kiely]

 

[Painful One]

Thanks guys.

The Truth is that I just want to be able to eat and sleep again.
I want this damn constant leg pain to be numbed.
I want to be able to have sex again.
I want to be able to work again.

Whatever that takes.
If it is Morphine then yes, I want the morphine.

These new medicines they are trying to replace good old fashioned, tried and true pain relief for are WAY worse than the pain medication.

I never would have accepted the suboxone but I was desperate and my mom was dying.
She was so sick.
She needed me.
She died from heart and liver disease on Mothers Day.

I have continued to lose at least 5 pounds a month since I was abruptly taken off the MS Contin.
I don’t know why that alone didn’t alarm the hell out of this suboxone clinic!
I was wearing a size large at this time last year, I had just bought all new clothes because I had gained weight from being ABLE to eat and sleep again under my retired doctors care. Doctor of 15 years.
Now, I am wearing a size XXSMALL.
Just had to buy new clothes because the ones I had are huge on me.

It is all I can do to keep myself from going mental.
I’m going to be coming to you from the psych ward if I don’t get some relief soon.

For God sake, I have had my tailbone (the COxxyx) sheared off and lodged over on my psyatic nerve.
They didn’t want to do surgery because they were afraid they would paralyze me. (I have limited movement now)
They (the doctors) said that my body would eventually break it down and reabsorb it back into my body, but by then it would be too late.
My brain will have recorded that as CHRONIC PAIN!
They said there is nothing else we can do for you (they were crying for me) they said “you need to go to pain management”.
That is what I did and my old doctor had things well controlled.

Now all hell has broke lose again.
I find it ridiculous that I was ever put on 24 mg suboxone.
I have never been a heroin addict or abused anything.
I have smoked some marijuana and smoked some cigarettes.
That was the extent of my “wild days”.
I was always careful to avoid anything that came with a hangover, as I have suffered with migraine headaches that knock out my vision and speech since I was 16 yrs old.

Hopefully, this new doctor can and will help me.
The Veterinarian takes better care of animals than some human beings are getting who are truly SUFFERING.

 

[papercuts]

Thanks guys.

The Truth is that I just want to be able to eat and sleep again.
I want this damn constant leg pain to be numbed.
I want to be able to have sex again.
I want to be able to work again.

Whatever that takes.
If it is Morphine then yes, I want the morphine.

These new medicines they are trying to replace good old fashioned, tried and true pain relief for are WAY worse than the pain medication.

I never would have accepted the suboxone but I was desperate and my mom was dying.
She was so sick.
She needed me.
She died from heart and liver disease on Mothers Day.

I have continued to lose at least 5 pounds a month since I was abruptly taken off the MS Contin.
I don’t know why that alone didn’t alarm the hell out of this suboxone clinic!
I was wearing a size large at this time last year, I had just bought all new clothes because I had gained weight from being ABLE to eat and sleep again under my retired doctors care. Doctor of 15 years.
Now, I am wearing a size XXSMALL.
Just had to buy new clothes because the ones I had are huge on me.

It is all I can do to keep myself from going mental.
I’m going to be coming to you from the psych ward if I don’t get some relief soon.

For God sake, I have had my tailbone (the COxxyx) sheared off and lodged over on my psyatic nerve.
They didn’t want to do surgery because they were afraid they would paralyze me. (I have limited movement now)
They (the doctors) said that my body would eventually break it down and reabsorb it back into my body, but by then it would be too late.
My brain will have recorded that as CHRONIC PAIN!
They said there is nothing else we can do for you (they were crying for me) they said “you need to go to pain management”.
That is what I did and my old doctor had things well controlled.

Now all hell has broke lose again.
I find it ridiculous that I was ever put on 24 mg suboxone.
I have never been a heroin addict or abused anything.
I have smoked some marijuana and smoked some cigarettes.
That was the extent of my “wild days”.
I was always careful to avoid anything that came with a hangover, as I have suffered with migraine headaches that knock out my vision and speech since I was 16 yrs old.

Hopefully, this new doctor can and will help me.
The Veterinarian takes better care of animals than some human beings are getting who are truly SUFFERING.

How are you getting on now, painful one? Did you get to see the new doctor?
I'm not doing so well. My Dad is dying and I love him a lot, but he didn't raise me so I feel guilty spending more time with him than with my mum who at least tried to look after me for most of my childhood.
Maybe I'm dying too, I can't tell, my right breast is a mess of lumps and I get it checked tomorrow, the doctors have been playing pass the parcel with me. Hopefully I'm not going to be next to my Dad on the cancer ward, but something is all wrong with that boob.
My husband is wonderfully supportive in many ways, he's also a drinker, we're both really good at postponing reality and I've not even got to my immediate problem yet

Right now I have around three days supply of pods left in my possession, I have failed to secure the purchase of more and I'm looking down the barrel of opiate withdrawal on top of maybe being told tomorrow I have cancer, fuck fuck fuck, I'm scared.

When in wds you know the way you feel convinced you're going to die, then you wish for it, then the buprenorphine kicks in and there's some relief, but if I go through wds with cancer, will that genuinely kill me?
Would it give my weakened body, on a plate, to the cancer?

 

[papercuts]

This morning I woke up sweating, feeling that dread, I've had to cut down to make it last this long, 600mg pregabalin took the edge off it, but I'm shaking inside

 

[papercuts]

But I'm excited by the prospect of being free of the dependance. My husband was saying last night it's so good we don't smoke cigarettes any more, it would cost a fortune but also it's horrible to be dependant on a substance for sanity and well being, especially in winter, no shivering on the doorstep, fag in mouth

I'm thinking another 300 mg pregabalin and half a xanax might get me through the rest of the night, I've had my small ration of pods already, stomach hurts, runny tum, have some boxes of loperamide, works if I take a few, I don't want to be told I've cancer

I had to tell my husband to make sure I get to the appointment tomorrow. I'm so fricking stressed I could take some benzos and sleep through the entire morning, miss my appointment and have to wait some more weeks for a diagnosis.

 

[Squeaky]

have some boxes of loperamide

Loperamide works wonders because it is an opiate. It takes about 4 hours to start working, but it ABSOLUTELY WORKS!. All of my withdrawals disappeared. It’s a great way to taper off other opiates….. Is it time to get free from your dependence on pods? The opiate wds never killed anyone, but they do make people commit suicide. And the psychological mind-fuck lasts for over a year.

 

[Painful One]

Hey Friends,

I am not doing well at all. Pretty sure I am dying.
My siblings are the ones who put massive pressure on me to “quit all my medications RIGHT NOW!”
They think I am going to be normal I guess without the medication.
I tried. I cut the suboxone by one entire pill and I made it 3 weeks.
I thought I was almost through it.

Then….I had a Grand Mal seizure.
My lip and to tongue are all bit up. My body hurts like a bitch all over.
I went back up to the prescribed dose of Suboxone.
Turns out 3 weeks was just when the withdrawal was really starting.
Now, my entire left side is kind of paralyzed.
I am having a hard time using my left hand and my leg keeps collapsing out from under me.
I can’t think straight at all.
The simplest task has become even more hard.

The huge lump on my lower right side that was diagnosed as a hernia for all these years has now been diagnosed as a tumor.
It hurts. It gets hot and burns. Turns all purple. I am having to wear pants that come up to my boobs because I can’t stand any kind of pressure on it. Even underwear bother me. Fuck!

I’m also having a problem getting my urine to come out.
I feel like I have to go really bad but I sit there and just a little dribble comes out.
I’m having to sit in the bathtub for an hour to get it out.
Really sharp pain in lower kidney area.

I made it to the new doctor once and her eyes bulged out of her head and I got the wide eyed, mouth hanging open stare as I told her the situation.
She sent me for a full back MRI. I got that done. She also wants a full back x-ray that I have not been able to get yet.
Due to seizure situation.
Having a hard time driving.
I have an appointment with her at the end of the month (Jan 31)
So, I have to go get that full back x ray and then make it to her office somehow.

My jaw feels fucking broken from seizure.
It is hanging all weird.
At least she said something about getting me some correct medication when I saw her the first time.
So hopefully, they are going to keep me comfortable.
I feel like I am dying.

So sorry to hear of your struggles above ^^^ my dear friends.
So, so sorry for us all.
I love you all.
Will update as soon as possible.

Love,
P.O

 

[Painful One]

Loperamide works wonders because it is an opiate. It takes about 4 hours to start working, but it ABSOLUTELY WORKS!. All of my withdrawals disappeared. It’s a great way to taper off other opiates….. Is it time to get free from your dependence on pods? The opiate wds never killed anyone, but they do make people commit suicide. And the psychological mind-fuck lasts for over a year.

Loperamide definitely works.
If you look back in this thread, or maybe it is part one of this thread, you will see that Squeaky and I tested the Lope majorly.
We were so dang grateful for it.
It won’t constipate you anymore than we already are due to the other stronger opiates we are all taking.
Give it a try @papercuts
Just don’t take more than 20 of the 2 mg loperamide.
It is strong.
It was originally used for pain, but they decided it didn’t work so great for pain but it sure worked for diarrhea.
Works for opiate withdrawal like a charm.
We used it to bridge 1-2-3 day gaps between prescriptions.
(Since getting proper pain management has become impossible)

I might be in the same boat with you on the Cancer situation.
They want to do surgery on me.
So, I will need pain medicine to get through that.
I mean, what is the point in trying to quit it right now?
I hope I can get some proper medicine.
THE PAIN IS SO SEVERE IT IS GOING TO KILL ME!

 

[Painful One]

But I'm excited by the prospect of being free of the dependance. My husband was saying last night it's so good we don't smoke cigarettes any more, it would cost a fortune but also it's horrible to be dependant on a substance for sanity and well being, especially in winter, no shivering on the doorstep, fag in mouth

I'm thinking another 300 mg pregabalin and half a xanax might get me through the rest of the night, I've had my small ration of pods already, stomach hurts, runny tum, have some boxes of loperamide, works if I take a few, I don't want to be told I've cancer

I had to tell my husband to make sure I get to the appointment tomorrow. I'm so fricking stressed I could take some benzos and sleep through the entire morning, miss my appointment and have to wait some more weeks for a diagnosis.

Well done on quitting the cigarettes.
I am still smoking.
I am trying to quit but I can’t do it all at once.
I have to cut down slowly.
I don’t want to have another one of those seizures.
The tobacco helps my migraine headaches and sleep disorder.

Slow and steady wins the race.
I have got to take it slow and steady.

My left leg pain is so out of control bad now.
I cannot let anyone push me.
They do not live in this body and they don’t understand.
I don’t want them to ever understand.
Don’t want them to ever suffer like this.

 

[papercuts]

I don't have cancer, yay, OMG that was stressful, I'm relieved of it now, how tough does it get after you're told the other option? I'm glad not to be finding out today.

My Dad starts more chemo on Monday, normally I go and keep him company while he's there. Times like this you really find out who your friends are and people who promise you'll not see withdrawal if they can help are suddenly unavailable, meaning I was unprepared for this outcome, I honestly thought I'd got some at a friend's house. Some friend.

So I have a few spoonfuls of pods, some boxes of loperamide, some cocodamol 30/375, 10 or more each of; clonidine, clonazepam, alprazolam, baclofen I can't think, the list is long, gabapentin, pregabalin, there's enough in there so I won't suffer too badly and I won't end up dependant on another because with so many I can rotate them. I've a lot of buprenorphine patches.

Now is absolutely not the time to quit, but Guy A was a bit rude to me so I went to Guy B who's a fucking charmer and promised a deal I couldn't really refuse. Guy B delays and delays, then been avoiding me so I go back to Guy A and he's still pissed off, but not got any and isn't in the mood to help me either. So believing promises instead of buying what was infront of me was a huge mistake which I will regret more bitterly as each day gets shittier, it's gradual enough with pods. That's me now, without pods, podless, lacking in pods

For the last week I've dropped my daily amount from three spoonfuls to two and a half, that drop has caused some pain throughout my body and every fart is dangerous, then I had an extra day's dose last night as well as yesterday morning and this morning. I'll have to drop to nothing tomorrow. I can have up to three emergencies during this withdrawal, I've got about three spoonfuls left, even typing that makes me want to cry, I'm such a woose. A close relative is back on brown, confirmed to me the other day, not by anyone who knows my own habits, all sorts of relatives crawl out of the woodwork when someone as big in life as my Dad is dying. I have that as a last option, but would risk my family finding out.

I've got the weekend to get over it and that isn't possible because it takes a few days to properly get out of your system so having none from tomorrow means it'll be too bad to handle around Tuesday and I won't make plans the day either side, OMG, if I've got the shits I can't go to his ward for patient safety because they have really vulnerable ones there, but I won't have an infection so that'll be ok, I won't need to tell them. I'll not be good company for him. Usually I bounce in there, off my face on pods and pregabalin, all smiles and laughter, exactly what he needs from me at this time. From my point of view it's good I won't remember much, pregabalin messes with the memory, but my Dad doesn't remember shit either so we have a laugh and I can get lifts there and back, I don't need to drive myself.

I think I'll put on more buprenorphine patches as the pods leave my system, one more patch for each day I don't have pods?

 

[papercuts]

40 hours later, loperamide makes me feel sick in large quantities so cyclizine is helping that side effect. Between them the small amount left can stay inside me.

Pregabalin is helping with all the rest and I made sure to have plenty before starting this. The gabapentin is my own prescription so I can get that as long as I need it after the pregabalin runs out. Noone should ever cold turkey off pregabalin unless they really thought it through and are OK about dying by suicide. It's a real possibility for any human.

Other than that my pupils are three times normal diameter and I'm fast getting through a box of tissues with the sniffles.

It's OK so far, I can do this until it goes away then wait for pods to be in season again.

Yeah, I know it hasn't started yet, I've done this so often I could write a fricking book, except I never remember enough details.

Enough, the light from the screen is hurting my eyes, in dark mode, lol

 

[kiely]

You can't quit all at once. It will put your body into Shock and Seizures. and cause more damage than it is worth.

You have to ween your body away slowly. Extremely slowly and very slowly.

It is Imperative !!!