Positive The Tapering Support Thread v 2.0

[papercuts]

Parents are an overrated asset. Is there room on that project to the moon?
Like wouldn't you think if they didn't want me as a kid they'd just stay gone?
So numb it down, numb it down, how the frick am I supposed to cut down on anything when I want to kill the part of me that is her daughter (just to put her out of her misery) as much as I want to keep the parts that are his wife and their mom.

 

[Squeaky]

Parents are an overrated asset. Is there room on that project to the moon?
Like wouldn't you think if they didn't want me as a kid they'd just stay gone?
So numb it down, numb it down, how the frick am I supposed to cut down on anything when I want to kill the part of me that is her daughter (just to put her out of her misery) as much as I want to keep the parts that are his wife and their mom.

Most people would say that you owe your parents because they brought you into this world, provided food and shelter, and took care of you until you were able to take care of yourself. But I call bullshit!

We didn’t ask to be born. They did it without consulting us. Either by accident or on purpose, having a child is selfish and the responsibility for it lands on the two people who had sex and made the child. The idea that we are all in debt to our parents is insane. We have a moral obligation to treat them with respect because they are human beings, not because they got drunk once and got pregnant.

If anyone treats us badly, we have a responsibility to our spouses and children to at least aggressively avoid that person because the stress of dealing with them undermines our ability to be a good parent/husband/wife. You owe your children to be a good parent, just as your mother owes you the same. When we let toxic people ruin our lives (even if that toxic person is a mother or father), we’re letting them ruin our children’s lives and causing us to violate our own marriage vows. You can’t be a good wife when your mom is stressing you out so much that you have no time or patience to help your husband when he needs you, right?

I disowned my parents many years ago for the same reason. About 10 years apart, for different reasons, I just stopped answering the phone. People would say to me “But it’s your Mom”, or “But it’s your Dad”. I would respond with “Yeah, but I was their child”. I just decided that I didn’t deserve to be treated like shit for the rest of my life only because they got drunk one night and made a baby.

Abuse is abuse. It takes many forms and can come from anyone, at any time, but only if you leave the door open for them to hurt you. And you don’t owe your abuser anything, not even an explanation.

 

[papercuts]

Most people would say that you owe your parents because they brought you into this world, provided food and shelter, and took care of you until you were able to take care of yourself. But I call bullshit!

We didn’t ask to be born. They did it without consulting us. Either by accident or on purpose, having a child is selfish and the responsibility for it lands on the two people who had sex and made the child. The idea that we are all in debt to our parents is insane. We have a moral obligation to treat them with respect because they are human beings, not because they got drunk once and got pregnant.

If anyone treats us badly, we have a responsibility to our spouses and children to at least aggressively avoid that person because the stress of dealing with them undermines our ability to be a good parent/husband/wife. You owe your children to be a good parent, just as your mother owes you the same. When we let toxic people ruin our lives (even if that toxic person is a mother or father), we’re letting them ruin our children’s lives and causing us to violate our own marriage vows. You can’t be a good wife when your mom is stressing you out so much that you have no time or patience to help your husband when he needs you, right?

I disowned my parents many years ago for the same reason. About 10 years apart, for different reasons, I just stopped answering the phone. People would say to me “But it’s your Mom”, or “But it’s your Dad”. I would respond with “Yeah, but I was their child”. I just decided that I didn’t deserve to be treated like shit for the rest of my life only because they got drunk one night and made a baby.

Abuse is abuse. It takes many forms and can come from anyone, at any time, but only if you leave the door open for them to hurt you. And you don’t owe your abuser anything, not even an explanation.

I'm glad you're back Squeaky.
I wish it were simpler than it is, I didn't speak to her for years until I had my kids, then made a truce because I thought she'd be a nice grandmother. She was and is, from a distance as she prefers and she wouldn't babysit but remembers birthdays etc. My kids don't know what my Dad even looks like although he lives three miles away, that is for the reason you say, noone treats my kids as second class citizens. He's not interested, I'm not chasing him.
They were both able bodied, educated and even inherited a family home at the beginning of their marriage, so could have looked after us if they wanted, but my Dad didn't fancy it (and sold the house to pay for staying out of prison) and my mom didn't fancy it on her own, so we are where we are and as the kid who was generally given the job of looking after everyone, labelled The Sensible One (yeah, seriously, compared to my family), I still try to look after her welbeing and not to stress her, I know it's back to front so I'm trying to break out of it, but she's probably not playing with a full deck either, we both have major demons even though she would never admit to being less than perfect, never to blame, people like me who get upset by her actions are just making it up.

 

[lolis my thesis]

I owe my parents my life; they have always been there to scoop me up when the chips are down;


Growing up they were a bit distant, mom hired a nanny for me at ages 3-5; Dad just came home from work and kept to himself.
I was never breast fed or nurtured in that way
I think they feel a bit guilty and can only help me now with $$.
They made sure I had a roof over my head thru the experiences I had; thru college, divorce, addiction, injury, disability, and just plain fucking about

I did support my self for long periods of time; but injury, mental health issues, addiction, foreclosure on our house, then divorce; when I fell on my face they were there every time.
They flat out would do anything to keep me off the streets; and with their pensions and smartness with their money, they can help me.

I think for a lot of Baby Boomer kids(hah Im a 53 yo kid), our financial stability lies in our parent's wealth.

After WW2; anyone with a job, be it blue collar or white, could afford to buy a house. If you had a good job you could also fund college.
These days the wealth inequity makes it very hard to save enough money for a down payment on a house, or funds to start a business, or saving for our own kid's college.
It seems impossible to "keep the wolves from the door" unless you are in a great paying job.

I live in hicktown Oregon; but houses cost half a million dollars; rents are 2500/month, and most people make $20/hour or a little more; it doesn't add up!

 

[Squeaky]

I owe my parents my life; they have always been there to scoop me up when the chips are down;


Growing up they were a bit distant, mom hired a nanny for me at ages 3-5; Dad just came home from work and kept to himself.
I was never breast fed or nurtured in that way
I think they feel a bit guilty and can only help me now with $$.
They made sure I had a roof over my head thru the experiences I had; thru college, divorce, addiction, injury, disability, and just plain fucking about

I did support my self for long periods of time; but injury, mental health issues, addiction, foreclosure on our house, then divorce; when I fell on my face they were there every time.
They flat out would do anything to keep me off the streets; and with their pensions and smartness with their money, they can help me.

I think for a lot of Baby Boomer kids(hah Im a 53 yo kid), our financial stability lies in our parent's wealth.

After WW2; anyone with a job, be it blue collar or white, could afford to buy a house. If you had a good job you could also fund college.
These days the wealth inequity makes it very hard to save enough money for a down payment on a house, or funds to start a business, or saving for our own kid's college.
It seems impossible to "keep the wolves from the door" unless you are in a great paying job.

I live in hicktown Oregon; but houses cost half a million dollars; rents are 2500/month, and most people make $20/hour or a little more; it doesn't add up!

I totally agree. The middle class has disappeared and the American dream is no more. We were told that a college education would get us all of those things (house, family, etc), but now it’s just a path to a lifetime of student loan debt. It’s practically impossible to save up 20% of $500k when you have to work 2 jobs just to keep your kids off welfare. And now the government is spending our tax dollars to build tiny house communities for all of the homeless who made horrible life choices while the rest of us were rolling pennies to put a $6 gallon of gas in the car.

I’m not blaming anyone, but I can still be angry at the whole situation. It’s no wonder so many people have turned to drugs and alcohol, just to make it bearable for a few hours each day.

 

[Squeaky]

I'm glad you're back Squeaky.
I wish it were simpler than it is, I didn't speak to her for years until I had my kids, then made a truce because I thought she'd be a nice grandmother. She was and is, from a distance as she prefers and she wouldn't babysit but remembers birthdays etc. My kids don't know what my Dad even looks like although he lives three miles away, that is for the reason you say, noone treats my kids as second class citizens. He's not interested, I'm not chasing him.
They were both able bodied, educated and even inherited a family home at the beginning of their marriage, so could have looked after us if they wanted, but my Dad didn't fancy it (and sold the house to pay for staying out of prison) and my mom didn't fancy it on her own, so we are where we are and as the kid who was generally given the job of looking after everyone, labelled The Sensible One (yeah, seriously, compared to my family), I still try to look after her welbeing and not to stress her, I know it's back to front so I'm trying to break out of it, but she's probably not playing with a full deck either, we both have major demons even though she would never admit to being less than perfect, never to blame, people like me who get upset by her actions are just making it up.

Sounds like you had landlords growing up. Not parents.

 

[Sidban]

I'm back. 600mg codeine and 300mg valium per day. Got my taper plan sorted. Start tonight.

Gonna fast track the codeine. Knock off 100mg every day. Gonna reduce the valium 10mg per week.

I got here again cos I'm a fucking addict. It's destroying all my relationships. I haven't slept with my wife in months. My sister's think I'm crazy. I'm close to losing everything.

 

[Sidban]

I'm back. 600mg codeine and 300mg valium per day. Got my taper plan sorted. Start tonight.

Gonna fast track the codeine. Knock off 100mg every day. Gonna reduce the valium 10mg per week.

I got here again cos I'm a fucking addict. It's destroying all my relationships. I haven't slept with my wife in months. My sister's think I'm crazy. I'm close to losing everything.

Could anyone advise on whether Diphenhramine hydrochloride is good to take to help WD?

 

[papercuts]

I owe my parents my life; they have always been there to scoop me up when the chips are down;


Growing up they were a bit distant, mom hired a nanny for me at ages 3-5; Dad just came home from work and kept to himself.
I was never breast fed or nurtured in that way
I think they feel a bit guilty and can only help me now with $$.
They made sure I had a roof over my head thru the experiences I had; thru college, divorce, addiction, injury, disability, and just plain fucking about

I did support my self for long periods of time; but injury, mental health issues, addiction, foreclosure on our house, then divorce; when I fell on my face they were there every time.
They flat out would do anything to keep me off the streets; and with their pensions and smartness with their money, they can help me.

I think for a lot of Baby Boomer kids(hah Im a 53 yo kid), our financial stability lies in our parent's wealth.

After WW2; anyone with a job, be it blue collar or white, could afford to buy a house. If you had a good job you could also fund college.
These days the wealth inequity makes it very hard to save enough money for a down payment on a house, or funds to start a business, or saving for our own kid's college.
It seems impossible to "keep the wolves from the door" unless you are in a great paying job.

I live in hicktown Oregon; but houses cost half a million dollars; rents are 2500/month, and most people make $20/hour or a little more; it doesn't add up!

The difference between being part of a family who pull together and being part of a family that tear each other apart. Maybe it's easier for men, don't know, but as a young girl completely on my own, noone would pay me enough to live on, life was very difficult, made worse by the sex pests who think unaccompanied females don't really have the right to say no.

 

[papercuts]

Sounds like you had landlords growing up. Not parents.

Indeed, my counseller said something similar.
I'd actually a very good landlord, he looked after me better than my parents, one time I was getting hassled by another tenant and he stepped in and helped me get a locked door between us. I think he felt sorry for me, he said he'd never have given the flat to a 16 yo if my mum hadn't been sitting there asking for it for me.

 

[Squeaky]

I'm back. 600mg codeine and 300mg valium per day. Got my taper plan sorted. Start tonight.

Gonna fast track the codeine. Knock off 100mg every day. Gonna reduce the valium 10mg per week.

I got here again cos I'm a fucking addict. It's destroying all my relationships. I haven't slept with my wife in months. My sister's think I'm crazy. I'm close to losing everything.

Beware the codeine wd’s might suck more than you realize. And trying to sleep when you’re cutting back on Benzos and Opiates is going to suck. You’ll probably be laying in bed, sweating, and unable to sleep. I have done something similar and it was harder than it sounds.

I would recommend picking the pills you hate the most, or the ones you have more trouble acquiring, and tackle that one first. The codeine can go faster, and the wd’s don’t cause seizures like the valium can. Loperamide works wonders for opiate wd (mainly because it is an opiate also). It’s slow to act but also lasts 5x as long. It’s sold everywhere as ‘diarrhea medicine’ over the counter.

Look up ‘The Ashton Method’ for tapering off the Valium.

The biggest hurdle you have is time and suffering. Trying to hide your wd’s from your wife might be impossible unless you have a really solid, long term, taper plan. Sweating, insomnia, nausea, diarrhea, etc.... very hard to excuse after it’s been going on for weeks. Get your excuses ready: I ate some bad leftovers. I think it’s the flu. Someone at work got Covid and maybe I have it too. .... You’ll need good excuses for missing work or family functions.

Just don’t underestimate how bad it might be or you’ll do what we have all done before: Try to go too fast, wind up with extra pills, get frustrated and decide “just this once” which becomes “just this week”, then you are addicted to an even larger amount and not have enough left to taper.

No chance your wife would be willing to help? Maybe by holding your pills and keeping you on track with your tapering plans?

 

[Squeaky]

The difference between being part of a family who pull together and being part of a family that tear each other apart. Maybe it's easier for men, don't know, but as a young girl completely on my own, noone would pay me enough to live on, life was very difficult, made worse by the sex pests who think unaccompanied females don't really have the right to say no.

It’s definitely easier for men. Easier to walk away from family and easier to earn $$. It totally sucks that women basically have to prostitute themselves if they aren’t willing to sleep on the street.

 

[Painful One]

@Squeaky you there?

 

[Squeaky]

@Squeaky you there?

Yes.

 

[Painful One]

Yes.

Sorry bro.
I am just feeling like shit bad.
Going to try some Lope.
It is all I have right now.
UGH! I hate withdrawal.

Nothing you can really do.
Just reassure me that at least it is only a few days away.
I am so worn out from having Covid and pneumonia.
I just couldn’t breathe without it.
Have been up for weeks straight, not able to lie down due to fluid in the lungs.

Freaking pharmacy has turned into the gestapo.
Have you ever gotten your prescription filled at like 12:00 a.m.?
Technically it is the next day.

Kill me.

 

[Sidban]

Beware the codeine wd’s might suck more than you realize. And trying to sleep when you’re cutting back on Benzos and Opiates is going to suck. You’ll probably be laying in bed, sweating, and unable to sleep. I have done something similar and it was harder than it sounds.

I would recommend picking the pills you hate the most, or the ones you have more trouble acquiring, and tackle that one first. The codeine can go faster, and the wd’s don’t cause seizures like the valium can. Loperamide works wonders for opiate wd (mainly because it is an opiate also). It’s slow to act but also lasts 5x as long. It’s sold everywhere as ‘diarrhea medicine’ over the counter.

Look up ‘The Ashton Method’ for tapering off the Valium.

The biggest hurdle you have is time and suffering. Trying to hide your wd’s from your wife might be impossible unless you have a really solid, long term, taper plan. Sweating, insomnia, nausea, diarrhea, etc.... very hard to excuse after it’s been going on for weeks. Get your excuses ready: I ate some bad leftovers. I think it’s the flu. Someone at work got Covid and maybe I have it too. .... You’ll need good excuses for missing work or family functions.

Just don’t underestimate how bad it might be or you’ll do what we have all done before: Try to go too fast, wind up with extra pills, get frustrated and decide “just this once” which becomes “just this week”, then you are addicted to an even larger amount and not have enough left to taper.

No chance your wife would be willing to help? Maybe by holding your pills and keeping you on track with your tapering plans?

Thanks for the advice again. I'll check out the valium tapering method you suggested. I've got this. I've got bluelight too and people like you. Thank you

 

[Sidban]

Beware the codeine wd’s might suck more than you realize. And trying to sleep when you’re cutting back on Benzos and Opiates is going to suck. You’ll probably be laying in bed, sweating, and unable to sleep. I have done something similar and it was harder than it sounds.

I would recommend picking the pills you hate the most, or the ones you have more trouble acquiring, and tackle that one first. The codeine can go faster, and the wd’s don’t cause seizures like the valium can. Loperamide works wonders for opiate wd (mainly because it is an opiate also). It’s slow to act but also lasts 5x as long. It’s sold everywhere as ‘diarrhea medicine’ over the counter.

Look up ‘The Ashton Method’ for tapering off the Valium.

The biggest hurdle you have is time and suffering. Trying to hide your wd’s from your wife might be impossible unless you have a really solid, long term, taper plan. Sweating, insomnia, nausea, diarrhea, etc.... very hard to excuse after it’s been going on for weeks. Get your excuses ready: I ate some bad leftovers. I think it’s the flu. Someone at work got Covid and maybe I have it too. .... You’ll need good excuses for missing work or family functions.

Just don’t underestimate how bad it might be or you’ll do what we have all done before: Try to go too fast, wind up with extra pills, get frustrated and decide “just this once” which becomes “just this week”, then you are addicted to an even larger amount and not have enough left to taper.

No chance your wife would be willing to help? Maybe by holding your pills and keeping you on track with your tapering plans?

With the diazepam I'm gonna taper 10mg per week

 

[Sidban]

I'm down from 600mg to 500mg on the codeine. No WD. Gonna try 400mg tonight. No work 2mrw "god save the queen"

 

[Squeaky]

Sorry bro.
I am just feeling like shit bad.
Going to try some Lope.
It is all I have right now.
UGH! I hate withdrawal.

Nothing you can really do.
Just reassure me that at least it is only a few days away.
I am so worn out from having Covid and pneumonia.
I just couldn’t breathe without it.
Have been up for weeks straight, not able to lie down due to fluid in the lungs.

Freaking pharmacy has turned into the gestapo.
Have you ever gotten your prescription filled at like 12:00 a.m.?
Technically it is the next day.

Kill me.

Just remember that you have lived through worse. Time is your enemy right now but you have beaten that son of a bitch before.

As for a midnight Pharmacy run... nope. I always tried to hide my withdrawls, so telling my wife that I needed my prescription at 12:00 would not have gone well. And I always blamed myself for being stupid, so I figured I had to suffer through without complaining(not much any way)

I had Covid a few months ago, so I know what you mean. The respiratory issues can last for months. Try and plan your lope dosage for around 3-4 hours before bedtime. That’s about how long it takes to do it’s magic. You desperately need sleep.

 

[Squeaky]

I'm down from 600mg to 500mg on the codeine. No WD. Gonna try 400mg tonight. No work 2mrw "god save the queen"

Opiate wd takes 3-4 days to really hit. Don’t get too comfortable just because you feel ok 2 days after reducing your dosage.

And it’s more of a game of percentages than milligrams. Whatever you’re taking today, try cutting back by 20% per week. This means that if you’re stable at 500mg per day right now, you would cut down to 400mg next week. When you’re stable at 200mg per day, you would cut down to 160mg per day at the following week. The first few milligrams will go a lot faster than the last few. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.