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tacodude said:
I can't remember I just put the Morphine form with parenthesis and solubility into Google and had to scroll down to the bottom of the first page to find it.

I mean I prefer not to have to drink too much water as it makes me feel like I have to hold it from coming back up. I've been real prone to stomach issues.... I had to inject Zofran twice to deal with morning sickness (no I'm not pregnant I just produce a lot of bile in the morning that leads to vomiting for hours in end)... Yea my health is garbage. I may look healthy allowing doctors to completely neglect me, but inside I constantly feel physically broken causing my mind to unravel at times. It's hard.... It's why I have to resort to ma-fent

Edit: anyone watching blood drive now?
Click to expand...


Zofran gives me evil headaches.
Anyway, you are bright enough to hang in OD and help people, then you can at least start looking at the root of your issues. I am refering specifically to physical health.

You simply have to write down your symptoms and take notes, to get more out of a doctor visit. As long as your not seeking, this simple plan will work wonders. Your very bright here :) , so use that with them.

I posted this because your a Bluelighter, but a friend!

* To whom this may concern, we do not tell people how to scam their doctor for any reason.

However, developing correct ways to utilize your doctor appointment and clearly get your point across, to benifit your health is completely different. Getting your body as healthy as possible is real harm reduction.

Speed King
 
I've relived my trauma enough.... The maf is more of a "look at what ymou all forced me to do neglecting me and calling me a drug addict. I must say though if I'm not mistaking the weed I smoked with the maf I'm foolishly more or less allergy testing with my half broke 0.00 rather than an 0.000 so what I'm assuming is 20 mg when it's impossible to be over 10 mg even possibly only 5.... Still what I'm estimated as a 75 ug dose via volumetric measuring more likely 16.25-32.5 ug iv and unless I'm mistaking the cannabis bowl synegizing with the tea that moments ago had me feeling almost non existent hot cold sensation then I have to say damn it's potent I see why no one should be working with it without some clean area set up. Like it read a smaller amount of the small amount of the small solution from the small bag picked off from the big bag. I also did this with a syringe ready with narcan in front of me. Not really a careful move, but also not the most careless. Just need to point this out as it just blows my mind more seeing it in front of my eyes..... Now only if it was 25 or 52 would that be nice.

Edit : also forgot to add on the anti depression meds and others topic I don't mesh well with lots of effects. NMDA antagonists are not good for me long term on a regular bases as I become emotionally manic. SNRI even like saint johns wort make me spinny and forgetful. Haldol don't even go there..... Benzos I'm afraid of. What I really fear is the longer I stay on them the more I lose myself to an impulsive, angry, miserable, and suicidal monster holding back an angry violent unconscious monster. My minds pretty fucked up at this point and I haven't even seen war, which I wish I never had to.

Edit 2:definitely the bowl of herb
 
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how's everyone doing today?
i'm incredibly hungover but i just smoked a lump of Afgani tan so now it's all good :)

p.s.; real sorry to hear about this shit your dealing with taco :(
 
Thanks keeping... Congrats on the mod position too. Of course thank you everyone else for kind words too.

At this point I feel like I must have at least gone through up to 10 mg of this stuff over time. It's definitely active, but I don't notice much besides lack of withdrawals... Of course I'm being super careful till I get my 3 point scale, but it seems to be fine. I'm not even close to nodding, but nowhere near withdrawing. I had some nausea I used Zofran for and maybe hints of a headache so it seems like I have used a couple mg overnight although it's hard to believe as I'd assume it was more potent. I just wish I had the right scale so I didn't have to assume it's stronger than it is. It's definitely legit though as I'm nowhere near even feeling pretty balanced if not a bit high. Noticing no real difference so far in terms of fentanyl coldness although this analogs not supposed to be a cold. I can't wait till I can use 100 ug without having to assume it's really 3 mg...
 
thanks tac mate appreciate it. and what is this substance you're taking man? its an opioid right? please be careful with it if its what i think it is..
 
Yea it is. I just made my small amount balanced so I have a good idea it is what it is and can go back to pst until I get the 0.001 scale I need. It's actually interesting it's like it lacks the apathy of opiates while being a potent narcotic pain reliever. I can see why it is used in pain management and why it is so dangerous. I am planning to stabilize a dose and reduce it 1 ug a time using 1-3 doses to maintain a reduction while allowing pst twice a day that I plan to buy a measuring cup for and get a proper funnel strainer to make my pst. I'm strapped for cash though and needed something I could really on and once I can make blotter for sublingual personal use dosed individually to avoid hotspots as it shouldn't be an issue making two a day, 14 a week, etc.

I'm backed in a corner what can I say I want off this shit and methadone, suboxone, heroin, and cold turkey following ween has never helped and Oxymorphone ir for breakthrough and oxycodone er for maintenance while going throb pt and osteopathic until I'm strong enough to ween off transitioning to non drug treatment of my pain is considered insanity reasons to red flag and tell me methadone is best for pain go to a dependency clinic for pain management because opiate pain management is forbidden in pm clinics now due to a rule that is only mentioned 3 months in so I hope you find a doctor that helps you get your medication although I am going to recommend against opiates I hope you find a doctor that will now I need to get off the phone bye.... Could've told me that before scheduling multiple appointments and then canceling them on me only to tell me this when I call to ask why this is going on. Looking back on it I think they may have been curropt Dr's taking advantage of Medicare patients and writing scripts... I need to call my insurance and check on that.
 
I've been clean off heroin for a while now, and I have a very cute new friend. So, just awesome.

I'm still sick as fuck but I'm getting into PAWS symptoms. I was able to cook myself a veggie pasta for lunch which was a huge accomplishment. I normally cook two a day but I haven't had the energy for a few weeks and lack of appetite. I managed to drag my guitar out and jam for 30 minutes for an anger outlet. I relapsed last time when I started getting insomnia and panic attacks. I have etizolam for the extreme panic, and norflurazepam for the insomnia / general anxiety so I think I'll be good. I am very serious this time about quitting because I need to get my shit together asap. I definitely still have low testosterone but it's coming back a little extra fast this time haha.

I had mad cravings this morning though I better not ruin my life. I took a quarter ounce of shrooms the other day and had an identity crisis. Then I finally figured it out after using all the fucking logic and math and problem solving skills I've ever learned in school: ohhhhhhhhhh, I'm 'Shroomy'. That was a pretty difficult trip because I was completely discombobulated, I couldn't have told you my name or that I was a human being or where I was or what any of that meant but I could have passed a quantum physics test lol. I really confused my friend for a while with odd thought loops until she was like... are you tripping again? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the mushrooms. Fuck. I got owned by them, it was awesome because my 10 strip al-lad trip and dmt trips were pretty easygoing. Language exists. Right. Family. Hot new friend who was like you got it! You're 'shroomy' and hot shit and smart and all these cute things she says to me. Little bro to look out for. Life on planet earth. I ate some shrooms and... wait, what was that again? Fucking fuck I'm confused and it's right in front of my face. I forgot and couldn't figure it out. I think I got it now. No more psychedelics for a couple of weeks and no more mushrooms this year.
 
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I'm getting a sample of some kind of tryptamine compounds most likely 4-aco-dmt or ald-52 if not.. I'm definitely hoping for the 52,but not concerned as to which as I'm long overdue for a trip
 
I really want to rail some heroin, but I can't. Dammit. Done forever. I don't want to experience withdrawal anymore / ever again.

4-aco-dmt and 4-ho-met were phenomenal and very different from mushrooms I felt. When you take high doses at least. I am not fucking around in the same ways in heroin withdrawal this time. When I get bad cravings, I will hit my dmt out of my dab rig. Smoke some bong. Get my head straight. I'm tripping with a friend soon which should be really fun. We are going to take a lot of mushrooms. I almost always trip solo, but she's cute and suggested it. I said I would do any psych but shrooms again this year because they fucked me again and I never learn my lesson... but I'm sorta influenced by a hot woman when I haven't experienced that yet. I may as well take a half ounce this time if I'm gonna be silly.
 
does anyone get really achy legs when they're hungover?
swear to god i woke up this morning thinking i was in wd's but i'm not dependent again and haven't had anything for like two days. this sucks, i'm getting high.

good morning ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽
 
Morning dude. This morning has brought me to tears, I am going fucking insane. It's just too much too much too much.

I smoked 50mg DMT out of my dab rig but I didn't let the nail cool down enough before capping it, and the smoke was harsh of fuck so I lost maybe 15% or so. Anyways, the trip was a reflection of myself. There was no DMT Goddess or anything this time. I was asking myself questions and the answers I got were the answers that I would have given myself.

It's just I have extreme performance anxiety, I have another date tonight and I like her so so much and she likes me a lot too like I fucking know that but like she wants really good sex and like last time I was on a lot of oxy's and it was so damn good well I talked to her after and she said she figured it out once I brought it up later but like... can someone just give me a fucking break for once some fucking time? I'm just going to talk to her more, that's the message I got. She gets it but then she forgets because I don't seem that sick anymore... but I am.

It's like I was sticking fucking needles in my arm 2 months ago I didn't even know what I was doing but I learned to shoot and rotate 4 veins because sniffing it was way the fuck too expensive it made absolutely no sense anymore. Then I disposed of my 30 leur locks and started tapering and I've made it so far, I don't have an opiate in the house right now but like fuck I can't fucking last not with her she is way too cute. And it's like I'm already having fucking panic attacks all fucking day in post-acute withdrawals and it's like I NEED TIME. Not even that much, but the pressure all the fucking stress I just want a fucking mother fucking shot of afghan brown. Even some fuckin percocets like fuck. I'm just furious at myself. Glad I smoked the DMT though, it helped me understand my feelings.
 
^ woah shroomy pal where'd all this come from?
we were talking like, what, 2-3 hours ago and you didn't mention any of this or seem upset.

so like, what's at the core of this? i know you're torn because you like this girl but you also want to do opiates, yeah?

i thik maybe you should lay off the hallucinogens for the minute - doesn't take ascending to your planar form to realise you want one thing but that would ruin the other thing you have. i think you gotta talk to someone about this cause a relapse would be awful, you've done great man.

have you considered drug counseling? i have an hour session over the phone with a addiction psychiatrist and it really helps. put everything into perceptive, you know?
bluelights a great tool for the same stuff but sometimes a professional is needed, i know i'm not the best example for it (i'm high rn), but i'm leaving breaks between uses and cutting down and taking are of myself more so i guess that's progression.

sorry i'm meandering.
tl;dr it's either an awesome girl or a jar of dirt that makes you sleep
bc28f59fd7ef2b71aa8ee814df87276e--life-humor-funny-things.jpg
z\
your choice..
 
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lol. Thanks man. I'm doing well now, the DMT mellowed me out and I talked to her on the phone for about an hour. It's cool we're gonna take it easy and rip some bong which I could really use. I gotta a list of fun things to bring over hehe... just like tea and stuff, books, movies, box of condoms haha. Dude I'm having panic attacks because I don't have any opiates. It comes from years of abuse I guess. It was like, nothing is even wrong and she chilled me out too so actually the DMT shifted my perspective. Really calms me down most times.

This is always when I relapse, I can't handle the anxiety but it would be a damn shame if I did this time. I don't really think I have any chances left. I've exhausted myself and yeah today should be great! I freak the fuck out in post-acute withdrawals man. I woke up infuriated man and I don't even know why and I began to freak. Needed to get out of my mind for a bit and I kinda found the answers I was looking for. I'm good though man I am getting through this shit. I get realllllllllllly nervous with women I think are this cute and it's like, I always had heroin and now it's just me.

I agree about the psychedelics too. 7 grams of shrooms, 1.5 milligrams of al-lad and 40mg 4-ho-met has been enough. DMT is so short acting man and it feels healthy for me. Like I could smoke that shit every day like shatter man. That's the only one I will continue to use and only in times of crisis because it is serene, tranquil, sedating, enlightening... just mellows me right out. Getting off heroin is fucking tough it's exhausting me. Every day is different like yesterday was pretty awesome.
 
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