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The SO Pre-conception/Pregnancy/Parenting Megathread vs. You are NOT the father!

what a terrific update, MDAO! i'm filled with joy for you and your family. :) i must ask: how surreal and awesome is it seeing those three darling beings in person? :) <3
 
MyDoorsAreOpen said:
Two identical girls and a boy (who looks pretty damn identical to his sisters!) were delivered safely and without incident by C-section this morning to Mr. and Mrs. MDAO of the greater New York area. The girls were 3lbs 3 and 4 oz, while the boy was 3 lbs 7 oz, meaning my wife had almost 10lbs of baby in her, not counting all the other extra tissue that goes along. She went 33 wks -- not bad for multiples. They're in the neonatal ICU for ventilatory support, since all premies have underdeveloped and not very pliable lungs. But they're otherwise quite healthy. All 4 grandparents made it in, one by one, to say hello and hold each baby's hand, and it was a very happy occasion all around.

My wife was supposed to get spinal anesthesia. But they'd just given her subcutaneous heparin yesterday because they didn't know she was about to go into labor, so they gave her ketamine instead. She had the emptiest look in her eyes and not quite coherent speech when I greeted her fresh out of the OR, and she was zoned for a few hours after that. I ended the day telling her it'd been momentous. She told me for her it was a blur. I'm sure it'll be different once she rests up and is able to walk down to the NICU and see her babies for the first time.
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Congrats <3
I am SO truly happy for you all.
This is the most amazing news!!!
<3
 
MyDoorsAreOpen said:
Two identical girls and a boy (who looks pretty damn identical to his sisters!) were delivered safely and without incident by C-section this morning to Mr. and Mrs. MDAO of the greater New York area. The girls were 3lbs 3 and 4 oz, while the boy was 3 lbs 7 oz, meaning my wife had almost 10lbs of baby in her, not counting all the other extra tissue that goes along. She went 33 wks -- not bad for multiples. They're in the neonatal ICU for ventilatory support, since all premies have underdeveloped and not very pliable lungs. But they're otherwise quite healthy. All 4 grandparents made it in, one by one, to say hello and hold each baby's hand, and it was a very happy occasion all around.

My wife was supposed to get spinal anesthesia. But they'd just given her subcutaneous heparin yesterday because they didn't know she was about to go into labor, so they gave her ketamine instead. She had the emptiest look in her eyes and not quite coherent speech when I greeted her fresh out of the OR, and she was zoned for a few hours after that. I ended the day telling her it'd been momentous. She told me for her it was a blur. I'm sure it'll be different once she rests up and is able to walk down to the NICU and see her babies for the first time.
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Fantastic:D

Best wishes to you, MRS MDAO and the three small doors.
 
i'm a young mom and i use ocassionally, when the time is right, and when i know i wont be responsible for my son (example: babysitter) granted i am a drug addict and have fucked up in the past with my using. i make mistakes im human. if you use under the right circumstances, you should be fine.
really its a feel as you go type thing to me, only you know your limits, as long as your still able to be there for your child both mentally and physically and emotionally, you're golden. just be very cautious.
you'll know whats right when the time comes.
congratulations, like chickenscratch said, being a parent is the most awesome thing in the world. and as said earlier having children is almost a high within itself. For the first few months i myself did not get high. (after i recovered, i did go out and celebrate a friends birthday and had a few drinks, but like i said, i had a babysitter because i knew i was going to be too wasted) just dont over do it.
you'll be fine. good luck with everything
 
I am not a drug addict, but I know I would not feel comfortable caring for children of any age whilst under the influence of any kind of illegal drug - and a lot of prescription drugs or OTC drugs for that matter. I think the most important thing to remember is that when you're a parent your child is helpless and reliant on you (and your partner if they are still in the picture) to provide everything for them and ensure their safety.
For me, whilst caring for a child having any risk of not being able to provide for them or care for their safety is unacceptable. Pure and simple.

Horrible things can happen in a split second. When you're 100% awake and sober and alert these things can still happen - of course, but if you're in any way impaired there are huge risks you won't be able to deal with these things appropriately. And it could end in tragedy.

Weigh up your wanting to 'have a good time' against the guilt you would feel should something terrible happen to your child while you were in an altered state. :\
 
indeed i am. :) he's a handful, almost 11kgs, when i take him out briefly, he hurts my biceps!

love those just emerged two teeth. =D

pics delayed as imageshack seems to be blocked now, which along with fb are my main image hosting sites, any suggestions?
 
my best friend C is a single mom of a 3 yr old boy, working two jobs and helping her mother die. Once or twice a month, she calls me, drunk and painting and/or in the mood to rant. I see no problem with her drinking on her weekend off from child rearing. She only has one day off from everything -- work, nursing her mom, whatever and if she wants to drink until she's plastered, then do it. I couldn't imagine to judge her for that, and I expect I would do the same.
 
I appreciate all the well wishes from my fellow BL tribespeople. I went to see my kids in the NICU last night around midnight, and one of my daughters was getting an IV put into her arm. She sure wasn't liking it (who does??), but the way she screamed definitely awakened some kind of protective instinct in me. I couldn't bear to be in the room and hear that cry. I eventually just said goodnight to her from afar, and told her, "Be good to these nurses, give 'em a vein!"

On the subject of drugs and kids, I'm definitely not with the "abstain completely until they're 18" camp. But I do think drugs (including amounts of alcohol sufficient to render one unfit to drive) ought to be saved for times when the kids are in the temporary care of someone else trusted, and will be under that person's care until you're sober. And even then, I don't think I'd ever get so out of my head for hours on end that I couldn't think rationally and make decisions, in the event of the babysitter calling me with an emergency. I've always been a big fan of low doses of most recreational drugs anyway -- I was never a push-your-limits kind of guy.
 
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