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The Sad Thread (Anti-Snoo) 2 - Tory Britain in Flames

ScotchMist said:
The tax forms are fairly easy mate, i do my own without an accountant and it takes about an hour or so once a year as long as you keep on top of it. Or you can have an accountant do it all for about £300 odd quid..
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Didn't know that. I'd been made to believe they were insufferable, though I suspect the guy in question preferred CIH and no questions. :D

It's deciding on a trade really. My dad could turn his hand to loads of stuff, but it was mostly carpentry and joinery, plus antique restoration - all in his spare time, and being a lazy drunken welding foreman throughout the day.

He built a shed from scratch and he'd fuck off there to drink McEwan's Export and listen to Mario Lanza.

I used to love helping out.
 
Yeah misty it a hard one being self employed , especially having a young family, I was lucky enough not to have children when I was chaotic and on my knees, it's a catch 22 you need to save money to go rehab, but any money you save gets spunked on gear.
I really hope you put somthing together , I once did a home supervised detox on britlorfex and Valium , is that a option you could look at ? Good luck.
 
Just come in to work after a day off spewing and what not to find out it looks like im getting laid off due to the builders being so far behind.. perfect. :!

It doesnt rain it fuckin pours :(

Edit: Just seen that Strung, yeah, home detox, think ive exhausted that avenue with my local services having fucked so many up, think they'll be reluctant to put me on one, definitely not without putting me on maintenance for god knows how long. Im still trying to do it on my own, probably kidding myself but y'never know do ya ;)
 
edited version: mother still insane. so am i. ringing her when you're tripping isn't a great idea if you're not ready for a deconstruction of your entire identity and extended guilt trips.

i love her tho
 
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Currently sad and a bit depressed.
Feeling lonely at home is not cool. Fights all round the house.
 
Go for a walk..

I love a very casual stroll in those situations. At Work im walking at speed with somehwere to go, the opposite of that, walking around aimlessly at a snails pace really does make me feel so much happier.

Hope all comes good soon :)
 
Two sads on the bounce :(

Two years ago i buried one of my best friends from when we were growing up, we'd drifted apart a couple of years after leaving school, as you do, still didnt make it hurt any less when i was told he died from an overdose.

An hour or so ago i found out that his younger sister died last night, drugs are suspected to be the case as she was out clubbing.. That family just dont get any luck :(

If i find out it was something dodgy other than just an unfortunate case of over doing it I'll let you guys know..

Sad..
 
Sad news SM. Literally 5 minutes after reading this I found out one of my old school friends hung himself on thursday. Him and his partner had just recently had their second child as well. What an absolute shitter. :(
 
ponch said:
Sad news SM. Literally 5 minutes after reading this I found out one of my old school friends hung himself on thursday. Him and his partner had just recently had their second child as well. What an absolute shitter. :(
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How awful and incredibly sad. I can't imagine how it must feel to be so low that hanging yourself is the preferable option.
Poor man and how sad for his partner and their children. I wish more could be done to help people when they feel like that.
 
ponch said:
Sad news SM. Literally 5 minutes after reading this I found out one of my old school friends hung himself on thursday. Him and his partner had just recently had their second child as well. What an absolute shitter. :(
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Only just seen this Ponch.. fuckin sad..

My friend who i mentioned, it was a little suspect tbh.. He was extremely depressed at the time but he did seem to be on the mend, id only just got back in touch with him after a fair few years of not seeing each other.

He was on in arse, no work, no self worth and nothing in the way of a social life. Id offefed him a jobb decorating work around at my house. I was meant to be meeting him to organise it all and have some fun at the same timen.

He never made it to meet me :( He'd always been one of the most reckless bastardsŕ i ever came across, possibly ever will.. Due to his state of mind I'll never if he took his own life or just a misadventure.. :(

Stay sage x
 
Does this count as a double post:?

Sad again... After having a really great few days I'm back at my parents, which I was expecting anyway really but I was hopeful that my Mrs would give me some hope about a possible time when I could come back. After laying all my thoughts and feelings on the table she returned with hers.

Turns out she doesn't have the feelings she did have for me and doesn't know if she wants to be with at all. She wants to carry on the separation to see if her feelings return; I understand her apprehension to let me move in to soon however if she doesn't feel that way about me anymore then I'd say that's about it for us. This limbo isn't going to do me any favours, especially after say, 4-6 months and she then decides that she doesn't want to be with me.

All this whilst I still pay solely for everything, the money itself doesn't bother me, it's the fact that I'm still good enough to pay for the home, clothes, car, nights out but that's it :\ I feel like she wants the best of both worlds and if her decision is that she doesn't want to be with me then there's consequences of break ups, which I'm suffering greater than her.

Really don't know what to do, bite the bullet and hope things work out or just accept it's over, move on and get all affairs in order like finances, sell the house etc... :?

Pfft... :(

Any thoughts or suggestions folks, an unbiased view may be helpful as im struggling to find one irl...
 
I think it's only natural for her to grow apart from you.... While you are apart. I personally see no benefit from an enforced separation (others may disagree) in a healthy relationship you should be working through problems TOGETHER, separation is just burying your head in the sand.

I dislike offering definitive advice about things as its ultimately up to the person involved but it sounds to me as if she doesn't have the will/energy to try and repair the relationship anymore but still likes the benefits it brings.

All the best with whatever you decide to do.
 
Cheers bob, that's what I'm leaning towards doing. My parents are on at me saying she's taking me for a mug, I should cut the money off and move on properly.

I think they're just worried about me relapsing whilst all this goes on or if she decides months down the line that it is actually over.

Those few days back home, despite being really good have made being back out in the cold all the more worse.
 
ScotchMist said:
Any thoughts or suggestions folks, an unbiased view may be helpful as im struggling to find one irl...
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What an awful situation for all concerned. :\

I don't think any of us can speak to the emotional aspect of it, only you and the missus can do so.

So I'll be the hard nosed one for now. She can't be left to think that the ScotchMist gravy train will last indefinitely. I would speak to a solicitor or maybe Citizen's Advice and try to figure out exactly what would be required of you by the CSA. She'd be shocked at how little it is compared to what you're probably shelling out just now.

It sounds like she's preparing (or is already prepared) to move on without you. So if I was you, I'd protect myself so I could start to get on with my own life. Right about now, I'd be getting my wages put into my own new separate bank account; not throwing them into a shared pot you have little to no control over. (I'm guessing). It does sound like she is rather transparently stringing you along, and I suspect your parents are correct. :(
 
That's pretty much word for word what my old man has said Felix, you haven't been talking to him have you otherwise I'll have to disregard what you've said ;)

Yup, shit situation. I thought/hoped she was just wanting time to make sure I stayed clean, which I'd be cool with. To be told by someone you love so much that they don't have feelings for you is rough to say the least and i really wasnt expecting it. Heartbroken. :(
 
ScotchMist said:
Does this count as a double post:?

Sad again... After having a really great few days I'm back at my parents, which I was expecting anyway really but I was hopeful that my Mrs would give me some hope about a possible time when I could come back. After laying all my thoughts and feelings on the table she returned with hers.

Turns out she doesn't have the feelings she did have for me and doesn't know if she wants to be with at all. She wants to carry on the separation to see if her feelings return; I understand her apprehension to let me move in to soon however if she doesn't feel that way about me anymore then I'd say that's about it for us. This limbo isn't going to do me any favours, especially after say, 4-6 months and she then decides that she doesn't want to be with me.

All this whilst I still pay solely for everything, the money itself doesn't bother me, it's the fact that I'm still good enough to pay for the home, clothes, car, nights out but that's it :\ I feel like she wants the best of both worlds and if her decision is that she doesn't want to be with me then there's consequences of break ups, which I'm suffering greater than her.

Really don't know what to do, bite the bullet and hope things work out or just accept it's over, move on and get all affairs in order like finances, sell the house etc... :?

Pfft... :(

Any thoughts or suggestions folks, an unbiased view may be helpful as im struggling to find one irl...
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Fuck that noise. If she wants time apart she can fund it herself. Pay for any children you have, (the CSA demand that you pay 15% of your wages if you have one child or 20% if you have two or more) and let her decide if she still wants to be in a relationship with her footing the bill. If you want to continue paying *something* pay only the necessary bills, electric, gas and water.

You seriously don't want to be paying for broadband if she's fishing around looking for other guys/dates.

If you have a joint account, cancel it or make it so that you have to sign it before anything is withdrawn from the account. She's stringing you along for your money all the while dangling a carrot in front of your face in the vein hope that you think she'll take you back.

Fuck. That. Noise.
 
Feel so burnt out that I could just give up today.

My hands are trembling, which is due to either lithium or alcohol. It's annoying. The past fortnight or more has been a maze of confused emotional shit, which was probably not helped by the drinking. Still, it makes me wonder if I'm really getting better at all.

As disturbing as the thought may be, things are so dire that I'm prepared to admit that I need a hug. I could get one, but it'd either involve going out drinking, or going out otherwise, but with attached conditions and a personality which I can't be bothered with right now. Plus my bed smells of all the alcohol and prescription meds I've sweated out.

Hopefully, a couple of sober weeks will leave me embarrassed at getting like this.

Big whinge, etc.
 
<3xxx(((HUGS)))XXX<3

Sammy G said:
Feel so burnt out that I could just give up today.

My hands are trembling, which is due to either lithium or alcohol. It's annoying. The past fortnight or more has been a maze of confused emotional shit, which was probably not helped by the drinking. Still, it makes me wonder if I'm really getting better at all.

As disturbing as the thought may be, things are so dire that I'm prepared to admit that I need a hug. I could get one, but it'd either involve going out drinking, or going out otherwise, but with attached conditions and a personality which I can't be bothered with right now. Plus my bed smells of all the alcohol and prescription meds I've sweated out.

Hopefully, a couple of sober weeks will leave me embarrassed at getting like this.

Big whinge, etc.
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It's time for pay back. You know alcohol is a depressant and that's it showing itself now. Just grit your teeth and make up to your body and mind with some healthy living, exercise and nutrition - and doing something else with your head rather than more drugs or booze.

It's ok to have a whinge but don't wallow in shame - its useless. Get some routine back and ffs put a laundry on, get the hoover out and open the windows :D

Lastly - I don't believe it "gets better" its gets manageable and has has better spells. All swings n' roundabouts, its all about trying to smooth those peaks and troughs into gentler jags! Smooth n curvy ;) Not spikey n' jaggy 8(

Be kind to you please <3 I insist xxx
 
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