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The Sad Thread (Anti-Snoo) 2 - Tory Britain in Flames
- Thread starter maxalfie
- Start date
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Nah, 1p on the old brass scales was a teenth. An eighth was 2p 
(Coz everyone always lost their weights - except me... I was anal about that sorta shit)
(Coz everyone always lost their weights - except me... I was anal about that sorta shit)
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Haha, bugger my memory - but I always used the proper weights anyway - didn't trust that coinage nonsense (just as well really)
Edit: that's until I 'liberated' an analytical balance from the school science lab. It was huge and worked with mirrors and prisms, was very sensitive and needed regular calibration - so legging it down the backsies with it stuffed up yer jumper didn't do it much good..
Last edited:
Shambles
Bluelight Crew
I actually weighed coinson my mg scales once to check ye oldeskool weights and measures and they're actually pretty goshdarn close. Cig for a gramme, penny for a teenth, tuppence for a quarter. They're all within a couple mg at most which is okay for hash and the like... or was when it wasn't a bleedin' tenner per (0.7) "gramme" 8)
BigG
Ex-Bluelighter
I've had the worst day I've had in a long, long time.
I got back to the hospital where I'm temporarily based so sad I was speechless. The weird thing was that on seeing how upset.I was, two of my female .workmates started to cry....... Of course this then made me cry in turn and so it was just a vicious circle of tears....
I just hope tomorrow is a better day......
I got back to the hospital where I'm temporarily based so sad I was speechless. The weird thing was that on seeing how upset.I was, two of my female .workmates started to cry....... Of course this then made me cry in turn and so it was just a vicious circle of tears....
I just hope tomorrow is a better day......
SummerSerenade
Bluelighter
^ Aww sorry to hear that englandz. Hugs to everyone else too 
I had a sad thought when I was on the coach the other day that has just come back to me again now. It was the sudden realisation that the reason I spend so much time travelling nowadays is that I no longer really have an actual 'home'. Hopefully (not sure how hopefully now, haha) that will change soon but it's still a bit of a lonely situation to be in.
Maybe I just need some sleep.
I had a sad thought when I was on the coach the other day that has just come back to me again now. It was the sudden realisation that the reason I spend so much time travelling nowadays is that I no longer really have an actual 'home'. Hopefully (not sure how hopefully now, haha) that will change soon but it's still a bit of a lonely situation to be in.
Maybe I just need some sleep.
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Man, that's sounds terrible.
I'm sure you'll be right as rain today though - you seem to be one resilient feller! How's the driving course going?
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Sorry to hear that, englandz. It's good you've got us here for you on days like that. Respect to you xxxx
Evey
I'm hoping today is better flower. You must see and hear some awful things I don't know how you cope emotionally with all that. You're a strong man and its good to let the upset out.
xxx(((Hugs)))xxx
ScotchMist
Bluelight Crew
Not sad as such but I don't know how I'm feeling tbh so I'll just leave this here...
So... I should be happy today, an hour from now I'll be discussing with my parents and Mrs about my going to rehab.. I'm full of dread though, communication has deteriorated greatly between my partner and I the past couple of weeks since we got back from France..
I'm desperate to be free of dependency and to get my life back and everything that was in it prior to it imploding. It's not looking likely that my relationship is going to survive it, so with that I lose my home and being under the same roof as my children, they also lose having their father living with them and they didn't ask for or deserve it Obviously I lose the girl I love to bits to. Maybe she's just blowing cold again at the moment as she has a habit of alternating hot/cold to me but from the last time we spoke and saw each other it was different.
So, I suppose I'm scared of the future really, I clean up which will be positive and bring other positives with it, however I just wish there wasn't so many massive negatives waiting for me when I come out..
I'm sure I'll feel different and more positive despite the negatives once im off the smack, it does an excellent job at turning you into a pessimistic, apathetic twat... well... It does me anyway
So... I should be happy today, an hour from now I'll be discussing with my parents and Mrs about my going to rehab.. I'm full of dread though, communication has deteriorated greatly between my partner and I the past couple of weeks since we got back from France..
I'm desperate to be free of dependency and to get my life back and everything that was in it prior to it imploding. It's not looking likely that my relationship is going to survive it, so with that I lose my home and being under the same roof as my children, they also lose having their father living with them and they didn't ask for or deserve it
Obviously I lose the girl I love to bits to. Maybe she's just blowing cold again at the moment as she has a habit of alternating hot/cold to me but from the last time we spoke and saw each other it was different.So, I suppose I'm scared of the future really, I clean up which will be positive and bring other positives with it, however I just wish there wasn't so many massive negatives waiting for me when I come out..
I'm sure I'll feel different and more positive despite the negatives once im off the smack, it does an excellent job at turning you into a pessimistic, apathetic twat... well... It does me anyway
Sammy G
Ex-Bluelighter
That's the saddest thing, Scotch.
Dunno what to say, 'cept you're a strong guy and I hope you come out of it as well as can be. All the best. ,
Dunno what to say, 'cept you're a strong guy and I hope you come out of it as well as can be. All the best. ,
Not sad as such but I don't know how I'm feeling tbh so I'll just leave this here...
So... I should be happy today, an hour from now I'll be discussing with my parents and Mrs about my going to rehab.. I'm full of dread though, communication has deteriorated greatly between my partner and I the past couple of weeks since we got back from France..
I'm desperate to be free of dependency and to get my life back and everything that was in it prior to it imploding. It's not looking likely that my relationship is going to survive it, so with that I lose my home and being under the same roof as my children, they also lose having their father living with them and they didn't ask for or deserve it
So, I suppose I'm scared of the future really, I clean up which will be positive and bring other positives with it, however I just wish there wasn't so many massive negatives waiting for me when I come out..
I'm sure I'll feel different and more positive despite the negatives once im off the smack, it does an excellent job at turning you into a pessimistic, apathetic twat... well... It does me anyway
Aww petal, things are bad just now - but try the rehab and see what that brings and shapes the future. Life is always going to be like this honey, pros-cons / ups-downs, but you are suffering more than you should right now and that needs addressed and prioritised. You're wee ones will always be your girl and boy, nothing is ever going to change that - try not to worry too much, though I appreciate it must be pretty scary right now
Don't try and judge what it'll be like in the future when you're off smack - you don't know that now. Life is full of good surprises.
I wish I could give you a hug and tell you it'll be ok. I'm sorry I can't. Be brave, very brave and go for it
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Scotchy I'm sorry to see that you're in this dark place n of course none of us can ever tell you what to do. Only to listen n offer suggestions. You need to do this for you. Addiction is complex n the only way you'll ever beat it is by doing it for you. If it doesn't work with Mrs S then I'm sincerely sorry but life will get better. It may not seem like it ever would but it would. I've had two serious rationship end n life DOES get better.
You need to get as much support as you can. You've got us for a start n we'll always be here for you no
Matter what. I've been getting concerned about you to be homest.
I know it's difficult but your children will never lose their Dad. If you don't live with them they will still have you in their lives. It's not ideal n it's not 24/7 but life isn't ideal n we must make the most of what we have. As long as you're there for them, meet them n don't let them down what more could they want?
You say how you are with your children; taking them for walks in the country; watching the news with your eldest so she's not ignorant of the world; taking them to indoor play areas; surprising them with a holiday to Franch. You love your children that's obvious.
Think of how proud they'll be of you for beating this addiction; for going to rehab n fighting it head on? Maybe not now but in years to come I imagine they'll be proud of you.
Has difficult as this is, it's it's not working between you n Mrs S, far better to end things n have to kids see both of you separately than together. Kids sense tention. If she is blowing hot n cold maybe you both do need space. I can't say anything for her as I don't know her or what's going on for her.
Wishing you every success with this n you know I'm here for you, to listen anytime
Evey
You need to get as much support as you can. You've got us for a start n we'll always be here for you no
Matter what. I've been getting concerned about you to be homest.
I know it's difficult but your children will never lose their Dad. If you don't live with them they will still have you in their lives. It's not ideal n it's not 24/7 but life isn't ideal n we must make the most of what we have. As long as you're there for them, meet them n don't let them down what more could they want?
You say how you are with your children; taking them for walks in the country; watching the news with your eldest so she's not ignorant of the world; taking them to indoor play areas; surprising them with a holiday to Franch. You love your children that's obvious.
Think of how proud they'll be of you for beating this addiction; for going to rehab n fighting it head on? Maybe not now but in years to come I imagine they'll be proud of you.
Has difficult as this is, it's it's not working between you n Mrs S, far better to end things n have to kids see both of you separately than together. Kids sense tention. If she is blowing hot n cold maybe you both do need space. I can't say anything for her as I don't know her or what's going on for her.
Wishing you every success with this n you know I'm here for you, to listen anytime
Evey
ScotchMist
Bluelight Crew
Thanks guys and gals
It was pretty painful and found myself unable to look anyone in the eye.. I felt about 8 years old. Every time I did look up right in my line of sight was a photo of my kids looking right back at me..
Bah... need to man up and get the fuck on with it..
to yous all
It was pretty painful and found myself unable to look anyone in the eye.. I felt about 8 years old. Every time I did look up right in my line of sight was a photo of my kids looking right back at me..
Bah... need to man up and get the fuck on with it..
to yous allThanks guys and gals
It was pretty painful and found myself unable to look anyone in the eye.. I felt about 8 years old. Every time I did look up right in my line of sight was a photo of my kids looking right back at me..
Bah... need to man up and get the fuck on with it..
Big deep breath and go for it. It's the only way for now
You'll do it. You will.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Thanks guys and gals
It was pretty painful and found myself unable to look anyone in the eye.. I felt about 8 years old. Every time I did look up right in my line of sight was a photo of my kids looking right back at me..
Bah... need to man up and get the fuck on with it..
I've E-mailed you a hug, sorry it cant be a real one. You've nothing to be ashamed of, you didn't ask to be an addict. It's what you do about it now that matters.
I do understand it though, I've had family make me feel like the shittest parent ever for having an addiction but you're talking about it n you're thinking through dealing with it.
One saying i picked up from an old job is "there's always a solution to the problem."
This is just a hurdle to get over that's all n you'll do it.
Evey
Shambles
Bluelight Crew
I'm sure I'll feel different and more positive despite the negatives once im off the smack, it does an excellent job at turning you into a pessimistic, apathetic twat... well... It does me anyway
This is a very true thing indeed. It's bizarre when I look back and remember what a miserable, pessimistic, nihilistic, apathetic and - frankly - mostly just plain pathetic person I was when I was on the gear. Whilst some of that was (and to a lesser extent still is) me it's very clear in hindsight that most of it was purely chemical. Smack relieves bleakness... but makes everything feel even bleaker without you even realising it is doing so half the time.
Big deep breath and go for it. It's the only way for now
This.
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