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Mental Health The Rant Thread Vs. Really? How Does That Make You Feel?

The boundary between myself and my environment has dissolved, not only am I losing my own identity, but I'm being sustained by a blazing core of hate that threatens to snuff the light from the eyes of every beautiful thing I can see.
 
I had my worst panic attack in recent memory (and that's saying something) bright and early at 6am this morning, and in the middle of the grocery store café/coffee shop, no less. I mean this was one of those down and dirty, visceral attacks, like whole body just utterly sapped of energy and coordination, totally fatigued, yet entire body just the same thrumming, vibrating with panic/neural messages. Uncontrollable tears, pouring sweat like a bad fever, nausea, shaking. Just recently found myself back homeless again, been camping for about 10 days, and I'm still sick physically and mentally and trying to get into a program or house or something, but all I know is that I'm acutely aware I'm not the strapping young lad I used to be, I can't hang like I used to and I'm not handling it well. I'm scared that I'll start using again, meth, I've already started drinking again where I didn't want to, and I'm barely hanging onto life as it is.
 
You'll be fine. You have so much going for you. You should stick with it. But don't do meth and drink. It will destroy you. Just always moderation.

Maybe just decompress for a while in nature. I know life is heartbreaking sometimes. Just hang on and get through it. Because you can.

Just do little things at a time. Find a hobby with your talent. But don't do too much drugs anymore. And no more meth especially together with drinking.

Just try nature for a while and feel better. Please just rest and decompress and don't do drugs. Or overindulgence. You will figure it out just take it slow

as in slow down and enjoy nature and take a break for a while. Get refreshed again. We all make mistakes with ourselves but just don't do it again.

Don't feel too bad. We all have to pause once in a while. Prayers to you. <3 k
Psychlone Jack said:
I had my worst panic attack in recent memory (and that's saying something) bright and early at 6am this morning, and in the middle of the grocery store café/coffee shop, no less. I mean this was one of those down and dirty, visceral attacks, like whole body just utterly sapped of energy and coordination, totally fatigued, yet entire body just the same thrumming, vibrating with panic/neural messages. Uncontrollable tears, pouring sweat like a bad fever, nausea, shaking. Just recently found myself back homeless again, been camping for about 10 days, and I'm still sick physically and mentally and trying to get into a program or house or something, but all I know is that I'm acutely aware I'm not the strapping young lad I used to be, I can't hang like I used to and I'm not handling it well. I'm scared that I'll start using again, meth, I've already started drinking again where I didn't want to, and I'm barely hanging onto life as it is.
Click to expand...
 
Fucking become homeless, spend over two weeks setting up even a minimal but correctly pitched camp, dealing with all the other shit, and I read on Google fucking News of all places last night about how the property where I'm currently residing is about to be dozed and put 580 condos in its place. Place has been empty for decades, I start squatting and it's fucking developed immediately. Really really can't catch a fucking break.
 
Because i cant get contraband cigarettes until monday i now have to pay $21 a pack at the store because of fucking Canadian taxes. Atleast thanks to Trudeau i know my tax dollars will be well spent funding a war in the Ukraine and a genocide in Palestine.

Fuck Trudeau up the arse with a fucking cactus and fuck Canadian taxes
 
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